ah technology

today Mike bought a digital scale so that we could all know what none of us even want to know, how much we weigh [not collectively, mind you]. so when we got back we sat down in the kitchen and Mike starting trying to turn it on, but at first he ignored the instructions. after getting frustrated with it, he called me over. so i grabbed the instructions and followed them. same results. stupid blinked LCD display saying "erase?" and if you click "no" it goes back to "erase?" then when you click "yes" it resets completly and you have to reprogram it, but as soon as you weigh yourself and watch the dancing squares [or were they circles?]… IT RESETS and goes back to "erase?". after a couple rounds of this… we got mad. i threatened to drop kick it.

now we have something to do tomorrow. return the scale. and the shirt i got overcharged for.

 

splat: part 2

Saturday night we were hanging out in the living room. Aussie Matt was lying on the air mattress. and my devil horns started to show, i decided it would be funny to jump onto the air mattress and send him flying [as i had so often done to Mike]. damn did that backfire! somehow i ended up bouncing off the air mattress, flipped into the air, and rolled over. again.

 

yesterday me and Mike were cramming a mattress into Mollie’s car, into the backseat. afterwards the 3 of us were to get into the car and drive down to the hostel for a BBQ. there was barely room in the backseat. i’m talking skinny person profile view, or less. and Mike looked at me and he was like "where are you going to sit" i pointed at the back and said "right there beside the mattress" and with that i stretched and proceeded to twist and cram myself into their with little effort. we didn’t even push the front seat forward [its a 2 door car]. and then i had to get out to go back into the house. when it came time to leave, Mollie looked at the car, looked at me, and said the same thing that Mike had said. so again, i crammed myself into there… and survived the whole car ride.

this is what happens when you play ALOT of tetris. hell, i’ve never even taken yoga lessons and i am barely flexible, yet i can manage to squeeze myself into tiny spaces.

 

splat

Mike was pumping up the airmattress [our temporary couch, well until Monday anyways] because it was badly deflated, so much so that when i first sat down on it beforehand, my ass hit the floor. my ass was not a happy ass after that. so after he finished i decided to test out if it was full enough, so i jumped onto it. but i bounced up, rolled over and flew off and hit the floor and made a huge THUD noise! it was quite funny. there was too much air.

 

kitchen story:

i fail at using a toaster oven. second day in a row i burnt something in there, something simple like an eggo or a piece of bread. and both times i actually managed to set off the damn smoke alarm!!!

how the HELL can i fail at toasting?!

 

well seeing as i am a movie buff and bored:

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: Paranoid- Black Sabbath

Waking Up: Fight For Your Right- Beastie Boys

First Day At School: Shot Through The Heart- Bon Jovi

Falling In Love: Tubthumping- Chumbawumba

Fight Song: What I Like About You- The Ramones      [i kid you not!!]

Breaking Up: Laid- James

Prom: Common People- William Shatner

Life’s OK:  Pink Crack- Hotel

Mental Breakdown: Good Times- Finger Eleven

Driving: Superbeast- Rob Zombie  [you’ve no idea how close to truth that one is]

Flashback: She Sells Sanctuary- The Cult

Getting Back Together: Blitzkreig Bop- The Ramones

Wedding: Losing My Religion- REM

Birth of Child: Mony, Mony- Billy Idol   [OMG, laughing and in tears here!]

Final Battle: Starlight- Muse

Death Scene: Fun Night- Andrew W.K. [LMAO some more]

Funeral Song: Time is Running Out- Muse

DISCLAIMER: i did not in any way cheat, i swear on my Dr Pepper stash those were the actual songs. LMFAO i rock! someone should turn my life into a movie, or at least a series of shorts. LMAO… leading to another sleepless night lost to giggle fits.

Mony, Mony, that one just cracks me up.

 

headboards=ow

so last night i was sitting on my bed cross-legged and talking to Mike, i got lazy and decided to lie down. i had just sat on my bed and not thought about were on the bed my ass was, so as i leaned back, because i was higher up on the bed [closer to the headboard]… i SMACKED my head really hard on the headboard. right on the top back part of my head! i grabbed my head, screamed and curled up in fetal position, giggling and moaning in pain.

i went downstairs to get some ice to put on my head. but we have no ice, not even an ice tray. so i had to settle for a bag of frozen perogies. while i was downstairs the other roommate was there and i told her that i had hit my head and she was like "OMG i heard that, that was your head?!", more laughter, and even more when i came back upstairs and told Mike. then i sat there on my bed, balancing a bag of frozen perogies on my head. my head had already started hurting near my eyes from the kitchen light incident, this was NOT helping. but aspirins did.

ooh but the laughter did not stop there. we got to talking about the projector and how we have to get it up on the ceiling soon. the problem is that we have the PS2 and Wii connected to the projector, so they would either have to go up there with it, or we would have to get longer cables. we started laughing about if we had the systems up there, you would have to climb up a step-ladder just to change the game, LMAO. ooh but it got funnier, because then i was like, wait? won’t the controllers be hanging down [i don’t have wireless PS2 controllers and 2 of the GameCube controllers are also not wireless]… which led to the guitar from Guitar Hero. that was when we cracked and just could not stop laughing. every time one stopped, the other started. and then, right at the moment of weakness, all i said was: DDR. roaring laughter. i sit here writing this now, laughing.

i am going to end up with abs of steel.

 

blinded by the light

the main kitchen light also has a fan in it. back when the smoke alarm story from Sunday happened i had tried to turn the fan on. in any case, today Mike was trying to turn the light on. but when he flipped the switch the fan started spinning, but no light. so he started pulling the speed cord to slow down and stop the fan, but i was like "no, pull the middle cord!" to turn the light on. so he pulls it… before either of us has a chance to shield our poor poor eyes… BLAM. we both get it in the eyes. we burst into laughter and we are both staggering around the kitchen laughing intermittently with cries of pain.

you see, since he bought the projector a week ago, every time we use it and one of us turns sideways, one of us always gets blinded. even if its by the reflection on the inside of our glasses. every time we try to pass something to each other, BLAM in the eyes.

soon that will be remedied by putting the projector on the ceiling. not soon enough though.

oh God my eyes hurt. it hurts to look. i been seeing things, i swear it!

 

tis the life

i finally cracked. i bought a chair. but not just any chair, a good chair.

i decided to continue the jobhunt seeing as i was starting to acquire spiderwebs from not going anywhere. whilst in the mall i chanced upon Zellers and went in there on a whim, not expecting to find what i didn’t know i was looking for. and suddenly there it was! a padded lawnchair! my ass rejoiced!! when i bought it i told the guy that i was furnishing the living room, he laughed. then he laughed even more when he told me he didn’t have a bag big enough for it! there i was, halfway through my job hunt… carrying a folded lawnchair! i walked through the mall getting nothing but weird looks, yet i still managed to go to four restaurants and apply for bartending jobs. here’s hoping.

[picture coming soon]

 

a deeper appreciation

since i moved here about a week and a half ago, i realized how important furniture is. and how i took it for granted back home, especially the couch. oh the couch is a staple in life. if you don’t believe me, then go a week without using your couch or chairs for that matter. sprawl out on the floor or an airmattress. Mike at least gets to sit at work. the most i can do is go to the mall and sit on the leather chairs, but its too far, stupid 5min walk. LMAO. not to mention that someone has been locking the door in the fence and none of us can find the key to it for the life of us. and i am NOT going the long way, its twice as long!

hmm… i haven’t been outside since… since…. SATURDAY?! hm, this needs remedying. ahaha, dying is in that word.