Monthly Archives: April 2007

the crazy weekend that was


 i decided that i would once and for all go dump the bank. i was pissed because i had tried to before but they wouldn’t let me because i had no ID. and then i was even more pissed when i was told by someone that they would still charge me the monthly fee when i went to close it. so i staggered into the bank, pretty damn pissed, and to make matters worse there was a HUGE line and the world’s most irritating little 12 year old "sk8r" kids who i just wanted to dropkick. somehow this little errand trip turned into going to Subway [the Subway that has been there for MONTHS and i didn’t realize it until a few days ago, from which i decided that eating Subway after divorcing the bank was the way to celebrate my success] from where we headed off to Home Depot for the millionth time. i swear, even contractors don’t go to Home Depot as much as we do. Mike assigned me with remembering that we needed a wrench. so the whole way there, every once in a while i would chime in with "we need a wrench" and giggle. after some time spent at the returns desk, we headed off… to the lightbulb aisle. apparently EVERY lightbulb in the house MUST be energy efficient. so we needed those energy ones but with smaller bases. so we wandered a bit til we found a person in an orange apron. he had no idea. so he sent us off looking for "Charlie" who we were told would be in the next aisle. so we wandered over there, walked up and down a bit. on our way there i saw "Rob" [the guy who originally helped us with the shower, who i made giggle at nipples]. we grabbed the last of the lighbulbs, three only. we seem to always get the last of everything.  next we were off to find the wrench. after much searching, we finally found one, just one, not a set of God knows how many. this lead to Mike claiming that we need pliers, EVEN though i said all we need is the universal tool. but nope, we needed it. i went over and started playing with the toolboxes, opening them all and giggling to myself [very easily amused] and next thing i know, Mike is holding one saying "come on, we need batteries" <blank stare> mmok. we spent about 10mins looking at the battery display. unable to find the rechargeable kind. as it turned out, the display continued on the other side and according to the cashier that WAS the battery "aisle". fast-forward to: we have a shopping cart and Mike claims we need to get EVERYTHING we need. i retort: tinfoil. HA! next thing i know i am asking ANOTHER sales associate [this being #5 or so?] for Drain-O. basically, for the next hour or so, we were running up and down the aisles debating over what was needed and what wasn’t. and then finally: Mike cracked and decided that we needed a plant [i had been bugging him that there were no house plants… this was 2 MONTHS AGO!]. but nooooo, we just HAD to have the BIGGEST one. almost. after much searching for someone, we found a guy outside in the garden tent. he had no idea which plant we should get. he yelled to his friend and said "do you know who could help these guys? they want a plant that can grow like Jack and the Beanstalk"… waves of laughter and he sends us back inside looking for a chick whose name i forget. failed attempt to find her, i finally win and get to choose the plant [given that i have almost every one of those plants in my house back in Toronto]. and we choose a nice one with big leaves. on the way to find the pot, the guy from outside is like "ooh, nice, you chose the rubber plant?" me and Mike look at each other confused, we each start feeling the plant,"rubber?" i look at Mike, "great, of all the plants we choose the fake rubber one!!"  the guy laughs and says that its a TYPE of plant. more laughter. at this point the cart has a GIANT plant in it, obstructing all view of the path in front of us. Mike puts me in charge of driving. i just about run over at least 2 kids, although one just jumped right in front of me. she had it coming. the plant is sticking out of the cart and at least one person and one kid got hit with the leaves on my way around. i also crashed into another shopping cart and Mike crashed into a pole with the cart. in the end we were walking along Fanshawe Park Rd. wheeling an orange shopping cart with a GIANT plant in it. people were actually slowing down just to stare at us and stepping onto the grass off the sidewalk to let us through. we now have 4 shopping carts in the garage, although it would be 5 if we had taken the Zellers one through the gate. after a long rest break, we went to Loblaws bent on buying stuff we could barbecue and flour. i grabbed a small bag because Mike claimed that nothing needed flour [throughout the store i kept grabbing recipe cards that listed flour and pointing them out]. i turned my back for one second, and *BAM* there was a 10kg bag where my tiny 2kg bag had been. our mission to buy tinfoil had been sidetracked by BBQ-worthy food and cake pans. we got back to the house and *CURSES* we forgot the tinfoil. we turned on our heels and back to Loblaws we went. except this time we had a list, we were only allowed to buy what was on the list. but as soon as we stepped through the door, Mike had an epiphany: we needed a mushroom brush. so he ran up to the guy in the produce section near the ‘shrooms and asked if he knew where we could get one. the guy had never even heard of a mushroom brush! [at this point i recognize most of the employees and am convinced that at any given point they are going to know us on a first name basis] later that night we were bored so we started drawing on me with Magic Marker. [it still has not fully washed off] and we tried to deep-fry a Mars bar but it melted into oblivion. the tiny piece that i fished out was pretty good though.


we woke up in a haze and groggy because we had stayed up until 6 or 7am. what woke up the entire house? Stephanie calling to ask Mike about the plan for Alex’s Moving Day that was this day. this was at like 10am. a few hours later we were helping Alex move and on the way to his [old] house we passed some guys sitting on a tacky, ratty old couch on the front lawn. and i said i wanted that. as of that moment i was determined to get a tacky couch and keep it either: a.) backyard grass, b.) garage, c.) front porch, d.) driveway. but alas, we were helping Alex move so my couch swiping plans had to be moved up to later in the day. on the way back to our house, we saw that someone had thrown out a nice little shelf, and it was decided that on the way back down to Alex’s [with the car being empty and all] that we would swipe it.  after unloading the car, i was still bumming around the house and they were all calling out for me. so i ran out of the house, with only one shoe on and Stephanie had started driving away so i ran up and jumped into the moving car. it was awesome. when we got to the curb where the shelf had been… it was gone. but there was still other stuff, so she pulled up real close to it, i slid the door open [its a minivan] and grabbed all the stuff and started tossing it to Alex [stuff: 2 wine bottle holder, magazine rack, shoe rack, and 2 thin wooden poles]. me and Alex started dueling with the poles. and then Mike stuck one out the window. Alex’s [old] roommate [who looks like Ryan]’s cats wouldn’t stop licking Magic Marker off of me. then we had Timmies, i chugged an iced cap and while the car was being refilled with gas i ran into the station and bought a giant slurpee [yes i finally found some near here]. me and Mike also had a duel with the two sticks, except i was in my socks and holding my slurpee and we were in the middle of the street out front of the house [NOW the Caution Children Playing Sign at the entrance is justified].

and so was the crazy weekend that was.

and now i will have to create a new category. Tales of the Three Craaaaaaaaazy Roommates


sun sun sun

the party last night turned out to be more of a get-together rather than a "blow the roof off this house" party. but it was fun. we sat on the deck BBQ, drinking and talking. general merriment all around. then we went inside for the usual… video games. and as usual i owned everyones ass as Princess Peach in MarioKart64. then we broke out WarioWare and things heated up, we were dancing and the poor poor Wii-mote was being tossed all over the place.

BUT i had originally been anticipating a bigger turn-out, for you see i have today off of work… no one else does, ergo many people didn’t show. but i didn’t take this into account on Saturday night when i was in the kitchen cooking up a massive batch of jello shooters… the whole top row in the fridge was full. about a  100 or so shooters…. most of which are still there, about 75 or so?! and its driving me NUTS! and we don’t have a party coming up here for a while given that Alex is moving in next week. and when i suggested and impromptu "yay Alex has moved in party" he shot back with "hey, how about helping me actually move in?" and we laughed. if anyone has any ideas on what i can do with my 75 jello shooters?

back to lazy deck day off of work.

btw: i found out that masonville is not as perfect as i had it to be. i cna’t find any place that sells Slurpees or even fake ones like Frosters or Slush Puppies. i am going to have to walk downtown, a 1hr walk… just to get my fix ;_;

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Posted by on April 23, 2007 in Uncategorized


the story of the random party to be

tomorrow calls for nice weather. my original plan was to go the work meeting and then just hang out… that is until i came home one day, got to talking to Mike and he was like
"by the way… people are coming over on Sundayfor a BBQ"
me: "how many?"
Mike: " about 10?"
me: "you do realize that my BBQ can do like 2 burgers at a time… at most"
Mike: "thanks for telling me NOW"
me: "well i guess you’re just gonna have to buy a BBQ hmm?"
Mike: "grumble"
so today as i was coming home from the mall i called Mike to see if he wanted to go to Loblaws to pick up some stuff for the impromptu deck party/BBQ that is to go down tomorrow. so he said yes because he needed bread. we go towards the doors and i point out the plastic patio chairs and mention that we might possibly need some. my lawnchair, plus two folding chairs plus the deck stairs apparently isn’t enough seating accomadations so we end up grabbing like 4 of them. i decide that it will be best if we cram them into a shopping cart for ease of movement around the store. already we are getting funny looks trying to cram the chairs into the cart. right inside the doors they have summer stuff on display. i sarcastically point at the BBQs and sarcastically say "there’s your BBQ". next thing i know, i’m circling the damn thing helping determine if it is good enough. this one being the most expensive one on display. just when we decided that it was good, i found a flyer about the BBQs and saw that there was an even more expensive one. but we couldn’t find it in the pile of boxes for the life of us. so Mike went to customer service to ask about it… leaving me just standing there with a cart full of chairs in front of the take-out area, off to "hassle" anyone he could find. the guy he did find, as he told me later, told him that the BBQ that he saw on display and planned on buying was way too much and the only time you would need it would be if you were to roast an entire cow. so Mike shot back by pointing at the super expensive one that wasn’t even in stock and saying "so this one would be if you wanted to roast two cows?". i laughed so hard when he told me. so we continued on through the store. at some point early on, Mike stopped for a second and started circling around me with the cart while we argued over whether or not we should buy potatoes to make potato wedges. then we went looking for meat, which is afterall the main ingredient in a successful BBQ-houseparty. first we went and looked at the pre-made frozen stuff. but Mike thought it would be better to buy freshly made burger patties from the deli. so i joyrided on the cart over there. then the guy was like "no we don’t make those here. you should get the pre-made ones" and Mike asked if they could make them for us. and the guy was like, "if you don’t mind my asking, what’s wrong with the frozen ones?" at which point we walked away. then the free samples lady scolded us for dropping out of school. then we couldn’t find the potato wedges [at this point we had decided on pre-made frozen ones… we are just that damn lazy]… so i climbed on the front of the cart, facing Mike and he ran down the aisle… and just about plowed down an old man and just about rammed me into his cart… my poor poor heart was beating uncontrollably fast at this point, but we just looked at each other and giggled meniacally.
at the check-out, while the chick was figuring out how to key in the purchase of a BBQ [Mike was buying it all at once!!], Mike turns to me and he says: "i forgot to buy bread". i groan and look at him while trying to hold down laughter. eventually i crack and run to the opposite end of the store [diagonally i might add] grab the bread and run back. the whole time i am running and dodging people left and right. when i get back, no progress other than Mike and the cashier discussing methods of getting the BBQ home. she suggested taking a cab lol. as soon as i catch my breath i realize that i forgot to get salad dressing and i tell Mike, and we giggle. the cashier looks at me and tells me which aisle its in followed by "you’ve got enough time". so i take off, again, running like a madwoman through the aisles of Loblaws dodging people and at the same time trying to pull my shirt down because it is rolling up as i run.
fast forward to us at the front of the store, looking at the giant box that the BBQ is in and back at each other then at the shopping cart full of groceries and chairs. no idea how to get this all home, Mike asks the guy if he wouldn’t mind helping us take home. he seems unsure and asks his manager who just happened to walk in at that moment. after about 5 minutes of debating about what to do, and realizing that there is no room in a cab for all our stuff and realizing how damn close we live. the manager guy tells us its ok if we take the carts, he would rather lose the carts than his employee. so there we are, two carts full of stuff, slowly making our way down the street. laughing at the fact that every time we throw a party we end up having to steal or in this case "steal" shopping carts [we now have 3 Loblaws carts in the garage] just to haul all the stuff that we buy [which both times seems to have been chairs of some sort lol]. finally get we to out driveway and then we realize that we can’t get the cart with the unassembled-BBQ-in-a-box up over the curb and onto our driveway. we debate over whether or not we should just go over the grass and straight into the backyard. and of course that idea gets shut down. i attempt to help him lift the box. no go. back to "debating". stil no go on my around the backyard over the grass idea. which even the neighbour from across the street suggested, we both get shut down with "it’ll ruin the grass" from Mike. so the neighbour offers us the help of someone who i assume to be her son. we get the BBQ in the house… right in the living room. Connie and Mike decide to empty the box right on the living room floor. i look inside the box and see the instruction so i climb in… its a nice fit. so i get comfy and sit in there, next thing i know, they’ve flipped the box right side up. and i am on my back with my legs sticking up in the air over the edge of the box… still relatively comfy though. but the camera batteries were dead so no pic. but then i broke the corner edge of the box while trying to get out… it really was the only way out i might add.
together we managed to get a propane tank back to the house. but along the way back we had to stop at Loblaws again so i could buy some jello. i left Mike in the front entrance part with the propane tank. [the whole time in the parking lot we got weird looks]. once i found the jello i went back to the same cashier for a laugh, but eventually had to go over to the next line because it was taking too long.
we did end up assembling the BBQ without too many injuries, aside from a few mashed fingers and some things dropped on feet. and a few things improperly screwed together which we then had to use our universal tool to unpry. in the end it was well done. then we made burgers, from scratch. we had some ground beef. it was frozen so we had to defrost it, and eventually we just started adding stuff to it. like cheese and garlic and seasonings and beer. they actually came out as the best burgers we have ever had. they didn’t even need condiments. even Connie was like "these are the best burgers i have had in years" or something to that extent. with the burgers all cooked and eaten it was time to get started on the jello shooters for tomorrow nights party. by batch number 3 i was out of shooter cups. it was 9:30pm and i was determined to finish what i had started. so me and Mike [i convinced him to tag along] had to run out to Loblaws [my third trip there in one day]. i just went straight to the first person i could find who worked there and straight out asked where i could find jello shooter cups. all i could find in the aisle where they sent me was 3oz paper cups to keep in the bathroom? i grabbed a box and went on through the store still searching. after that all i found was shot glass sets… no good. then me and Mike ran into the guy who had helped us with the BBQ and he asked how it was doing. we laughed. next thing i knew, Mike was buying a deep fryer. ergo we needed oil. so off we ran, looking for a huge ass container of cooking oil. at this point i was referring to everything as "huge ass". i looked at the deep fryer and thought to myself "i’ll be damned, i needa buy some Mars bars to deep fry". and so i did… somehow i also ended up grabbing a 2L of Dr Pepper because apparently the almost full one i had in the fridge just wasn’t enough?!
oh crap!!! i forgot about my ice!!! CRAP CRAP CRAP!! need… more… ice….

i have no life?

SUPPOSEDLY, if you’ve seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the
ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go
to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x’s next
to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your
number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

(.5) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x ) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 5.5

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 13.5

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(.5) American Pie
() American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far:20

() Harry Potter 1
() Harry Potter 2
() Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 23

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( x) Robots
Total so far:32

() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
Total so far: 36
() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 40

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle [!!!HELL YEAH!!!]
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
() Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 44

() The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far:49

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 52

() Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
() ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 54

() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
() Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
Total so far:58

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
() Spider-Man
() Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 68

() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf’s Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far:71

() Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
() Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
() Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far:74

() Baseketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 76

(x) The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
() Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far:80

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 82

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 84

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 90

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total all together:95

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Posted by on April 4, 2007 in Uncategorized


my biggest fear.. and the awesome solution


sorry, i just REALLY hate bees.

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Posted by on April 2, 2007 in Uncategorized



Alex came to visit on Friday night until Saturday. somehow on Sat. at some point it came about that Alex was going to cook. the question was what? i suggested butter chicken. then after a while, it came about that we would eat omlettes. then came pancakes and hashbrowns, croissants and a giant ham and a HUGE coil of kielbasa, it was about 2.5kg of kielbasa. the guy at the counter couldn’t stop laughing.

later as i was trying to eat my croissant, Mike kept insisting that it was good with the cream cheese icing. at this point i was full but just wanted to finish my croissant in peace. but Mike had other plans. he started chasing me, trying to dab some cream cheese icing on it, so i stuffed the entire thing in my mouth. and he STILL got me, on the face. and then i had to attempt to finish eating the croissant. whilst trying not to gag on it.

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