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Monthly Archives: May 2007

one tiny bit closer

my life is one tiny bit more complete:

[Alex McC sent 5/31/2007 7:41 AM:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microorganism

they’re bacteria, fungi, or things that are very similar to to bacteria, none of which have lungs. so by our definition of sneezing, no]

now i know, and can move on to ask even more complicating questions. can microbes fart?
———————————————————————————————————————————–
and now update: the answer is:

Alex McC says:
    can microbes fart? i don’t think that they don’t have a digestive system that produces gas like we do, so i don’t think so

 Pinka says:
    but they do eat. ergo gas can build up within their bodies, non?

Alex McC says:
    they don’t eat the same way we do

Alex McC says:
    we send chunks of food into our stomach, where our acid breaks it up.  air gets in along with it, and we don’t process things very      efficiently
    bacteria do the whole mitochondria thing, which outputs pure glucose (i think, or something similar), fungus take root instead of         "eating", and none of them really have a digestive tract.  so i don’t think so

and so we have an answer to my question. too bad, sneezing and farting mircobes would’ve been the cutest thing ever. teeny tiny sneezes lol.

 
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Posted by on May 31, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

looking back

for once i am not looking over my shoulder to see if i am being followed by a crazy. but that’s not what this is about.
[i hope i can concentrate on what i am writing, for at the moment i am feeling a tad wave of euphoria. butter chicken and a funny mash-up of American Idiot with a guy yelling things… not helping]

i was going through my archives today, organizing it better, namely so that its easier for me [when super bored, as i have been this week] to read through what i have written in the past without bringing up things from the past that i wish not to. in going through i was skimming through my entries, looking for keywords that would make me disregard them and NOT put them into said categories for said organization purposes. and at first, i was trying to get it done as fast as possible, but slowly and surely… i got sucked in. started reading. which led to many a giggle fit. but it also made me go back and reflect and blah blah blah all that shit. but in the END, i did not leave with a new feeling, perse in me. as in, i did not feel like i had a new outlook on life, etc.. any of that crap. i only left remembering PMCEL and thinking of all the crazy adventures that are surely to come.

oh and its left me craving Dr Pepper…. really really really bad…. i need… my… fix…. *twitch*

and i have yet to find out 100% for sure if microbes can sneeze or not. BUT i did manage to confuse Alex 😉

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

this is Pinka’s alzheimer’s talking… about cookies:

not internet cookies, but edible [well these weren’t quite edible, but the intention was there, and some did get eaten… more importantly: no one died]
 
i think it was last weekend?… no wait, the one before… its only Tuesday right? OK, for the sake of argument, not this past Saturday but the one before, Alex was gone for the weekend, as was Brent. it was just me and Mike. just like old times. it was a Saturday night. neither of us had any pre-set engagements… just the two of us. alone in the house, on a Saturday night. what were we to do? the smoke alarm was conveniently still disconnected. i was being driven nuts by the carton of eggs that i still had from Conny’s birthday cake-brownie. it was REALLY REALLY REALLY driving me nuts. and i was quite vocal on the matter. somehow it came about that we were to make cookies. Mike had his cookie mix, i was to make mine from scratch. the goal was to use up the eggs. and of course Mike managed to screw up ready-made-cookie-mix-in-a-bag-dealie. they smelled like crayons. it was bad. time for my first batch of cookie dough. the ones that half the batter was half real amaretto, half fake. these i must say did eventually turn out quite good. although they were chewy. which was a first for me. but what was disturbing was that even yesterday as i was eating them… they were still chewy!! the second batch was supposed to be just regular sugar cookies. but keep in mind, at this point it was around 11pm/midnight… on a Saturday night… we had eaten alot of cookie dough. we were not functioning properly and i just wanted to get rid of the damn dough and and enjoy my night. when these cookies were done, Mike grabbed one and bit it. *CRUNCH* he screamed. held the other end of the cookie out to me and said "bite"[rather angrily?]. and i declined, due to cookie dough nausea, placed it on the counter and promised to eat it in the morning. just between me and you: i never did bite it 😉
 
i write this because today i was throwing out those sugar cookies [if you can call them that, more like rocks resembling cookies] and they made a huge *THUD* noise as they hit the bottom of the garbage bag and Alex said "i hope you’re throwing out those cookies".

sidebar: Alex was going through the fridge and he says "where are the eggs?" i point at the cookies. he kinda grumbles and continues on, backs out again, "is there any butter left?"… i point at the cookies, while slowly backing out of the kitchen a safe distance.

 
Cookie Monster would be so ashamed of me if he knew. no one tell him.
 
 

the star power

me and Mike were playing GH II last night, at this point i forget which song given i played all weekend. at this point i was in a really good mood given that i had just found out that Barracuda by Heart was to be on GH III. Mike said something that got me all happy and excited while we were playing… Freebird, and i started jumping up and down all excitedly and all. which set off my star power. and then some jokes ensued. best star power ever
 
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Posted by on May 28, 2007 in Guitar Hero Tales

 

Killer Queen

me and Alex were playing GH today and we were playing my favourite song: Killer Queen by Queen. and all was going well. we were playing on medium mode, the mode i most kick ass on. but keep in mind, Alex is waaaaaay better at GH than i am, by far. so we’re playing through the song. and the WHOLE song i am winning. the little arrow on the amp is all the way over on my side, its all red and awesome. i am winning by about 3000 points. its the last note in the song, well a double note chord. easy. i should’ve gotten it. but i didn’t. i missed it. whereas Alex DID get it. and not only that. he also did star power AND that little warpy dealie. slowly but surely, the little arrow on the amp started to go to the left… i panicked. there was nothing i could do to redeem myself. and so he won. BY 9 POINTS. this by FAR has been the CLOSEST GH face-off of all time.

NOTE: i do plan on redeeming myself. THIS ISN’T OVER YET!!!

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2007 in Guitar Hero Tales

 

Pop Rocks and Pinka

again, me and Mike were talking last night. and for some ungodly reason he brought up my ex. i defended myself and cited boredom as the reason i stuck it out for so damn long. but he said that i probably would’ve ended up dating Kevin had i not stuck it out. i sighed and groaned. i tried to articulate the words for my lack of interest in Kevin. it went like this:

Pinka: Kevin? well no, you see… he is…. *deep breath* remember when i said that my ex was like cat food? well in that scale Kevin would be Melba toast
Mike: huh?
Pinka: i don’t find him to be the world’s most interesting person, but he is better than cat food. *evil laugh*
Mike: hmm…
Pinka: and well i guess then that would make Brent like…. [here is where my train seems to have derailed a tad, somehow i ended up in the candy aisle]… POP ROCKS!!!
Mike: how so?!
Pinka: well whenever i am with him its like fireworks
Mike: uhm?! *laughter*
Pinka: oh shit!! NO!! [at this point i am red as a beet] not like that! well i mean, yeah like that, but that’s not what i was meaning to say. i mean that he is the most interesting person ever… ugh i really gotta think things through before i speak
Mike: i’m afraid to ask, but… what candy would i be?
Pinka: Charleston Chews
Mike: how so? is it because i am brown?!
Pinka: *choking down laughter* well at first you try it and you’re like hmm ok [first time i tried it was the chocolate one, the worst of the three]
Mike: and then…
Pinka: well slowly but surely you get hooked
Mike: huh??
Pinka: well you see, when i first met you it was like, "oh ok, my bf’s friend, whatever".. and now 3 years later…. we live together, [and i am admittedly terribly addicted to Charleston Chews]
Mike: i’m blushing!! i never blush!!!!
Pinka: *giggles*… Pop Rocks… LMAO.

NOTE: the cat food reference first came up when i mentioned something about how awesome Brent is to Mike, and he was like "better than B-Bob?" and i said "i have upgraded from cat food to steak"

 
 

drywall=evil

the basement finishing is finally beginning. the supplies arrived today. they were all left on the driveway, in two giant piles. because to have the guy take it into the basement= $500. and no workout for us. bad. Mike was on his way home, but i was bored, and worried that it would rain or the neighbour would yell. so i set to carrying whatever i could down to the basement. all well and good… until we got to the drywall. Mike was home finally to help me. we attempted to lift the drywall and i ended up dropping my end. damn thing was too heavy. and i had to leave for work. when i came home, the driveway was clear. i rejoiced. no having to carry heavy drywall!!! that is until i got in and Mike asked me if i wanted to carry drywall. i looked at him with a blank stare. apparently him and Alex had only managed to carry them to the garage. there was a matter of the banister getting in the way of the drywall being taken to the basement.

Mike: want to remove a banister?
Pinka: *evil grin* of course
Mike: how?
Pinka: bash it
Mike; NO!

Pinka: saw it off with a knife?

Mike: no.
Pinka: well then how do we get it to the basement, it won’t fit!
Mike: *plays with tape measure*
Pinka: ooh we take out the basement window!! lower them in!
Alex: [sarcastically, unbeknownst to Pinka] yeah! we bash out the glass, then with a sledgehammer bash out the entire window frame
Pinka: YEAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
Mike: noooooo!!
Alex: stop trying to destroy things!! [at Pinka]

and after some deliberation, we sacrificed the already slightly destroyed [by me dropping it] piece to see if we could get it down by fitting part of it in the garage. after lots of grunting and shuffling… it worked. one piece down… 29 more to go. and then one was dropped on my big toe. i screamed in girly pain which made Mike laugh, just about dropping the drywall.  onto the next piece. *CRUSH* it got my other toe. ON THE SAME FOOT. they are currently still throbbing, but they don’t look any different. there are still 20 pieces in the garage. and Mike & Alex have both decided to stay late at work tomorrow. *grunt*

 

Word Association Game & Twister

[last night went as follows, word for word as best i could]

Mike: lets play the word association game
Pinka: OK!!
Mike: tire

Pinka: iron

Mike: what?
Pinka: a tire iron, you know one of those dealies that has a bend in it, you use it to take off tires
Mike: ah ok. axle.
Pinka: wheel
Mike: tire
Mike & Pinka: ahahahahaahahahhahahahaha.

shortest word association game ever.

[then:]

Mike: let’s play Twister
Pinka [puzzled given that we don’t have a Twister board]: ok, RED HAND BLUE.
Mike: well that ended quickly.

 
 

But the sink is wet!….

yesterday was Conny’s birthday. so me and Mike decided that we would make a cake. but during Sat.’s crazy shopping trip i forgot to buy one ingredient. so yesterday when Alex asked if anyone was going to join him for chair shopping i jumped at the chance. for my ass had not ass-tested anything in a while, since couch shopping actually. so i *wiggles ass*ed and agreed to embark on yet another trek to the mall, my millionth home [i have seriously lost track at this point, no joke]. Mike bailed out, so it was just me and Alex. the mall apparently doesn’t sell computer chairs… at all. except for a fancy store with ugly expensive chairs, but i doubt that even counts! somehow in the whole shin-dig, before we even got to Staples for the chair, i end up buying 2 DVDs [despite the fact that i am really not supposed to be spending ANY money whatsoever] and Alex ends up with 2 bagels. after much ass-testing and giggling, Alex decided on a chair. with an evil grin and a giggle i pointed out that he gets free delivery on it, and convinced him to go for it. i laughed some more at the thought of some poor guy having to deliver a chair… across the street!!! long story short they were out of stock. but its still getting delivered. then Alex pulled a Mike. we went in to Loblaws so i could get some evaporated milk for Conny’s cake, apparently we needed a shopping cart for that 😉 the free sample lady got us with her tasty sausages. and we ended up having to take the shopping cart through the gate in the fence. which finally answered the age old question that has been in my mind since the Zellers shopping cart incident of "can it even fit through the fence?" the answer is yes. yes it can.

in the kitchen me and Mike set to making the cake. i looked at the cake mix box, which the recipe called for, and freaked because it said eggs. the one thing no one had bought. i didn’t bother to check the recipe in the book, i just ran out the door cursing and swearing. ran there, ran back. out of breath, i go to the recipe to see where we start. turns out you don’t have to make the cake mix, you just pour it into the bowl and follow the book recipe. more swearing and cursing. then a few giggles.

the sausages kept squirting grease out and it looked like they were taking a piss. and it made the flames go really high. this kept us amused for quite some time. after the BBQ feast was had. we set our sights on the delicious German Chocolate Brownie Cake Concotion that filled the house with its irresistible scent. but we had to put icing on it. here i learned that icing and frosting are two different things, when i almost broke the icing squeezing tube. so we just smothered the whole top with chocolate frosting. but then we had to get the frosting out of the tube. so Alex turned it inside out… and it looked so wrong. looked like a turd. we couldn’t stop laughing. and every time we tried, it just got worse because Alex squeezed more frosting out. then there was a mini-frosting fight between me and Mike. when Conny cut the brownie cake, she divided it length-wise by three. Mike & Alex came to the conclusion that someone had to be eliminated. next thing i know they are holding me by my ankles and arms, wondering where to get rid of me. one of them suggested the sink. i shrieked "But the sink is wet!!!". they started laughing so hard they had to put me down to keep from dropping me.

NOTE: pics from now on can be found in my fb album. link is on the lefthand side column.

 

“your mom”

Mike: this all started with a bump on my head

i was on MSN talking to Brent, telling him about how i was planning on getting Mike & Alex to join me for the 2-4 weekend. the plan was to rent a car and head down to Port, something or other. anyways, at some point Mike said he just had to buy a car. but then complications arose from the insurance mess and such that resulted in hours of arguing and yelling and getting poked with the computer pen. then they wandered off, i returned to my conversation. somehow it came up that he would some weekend take me to the beach. so i got all excited and yelled about it, also as "getting back" at Mike & Alex for bailing on me and having fun earlier in the day. next thing i know, Alex is gone, and Mike is holding a stool yelling. so i yelled back. then we got to chasing each other around. and he was standing in the way of the bathroom, which i had to make use of. so more yelling ensued. and some chasing. more yelling. then some pain. from my yelling. i pointed out that there would only be more head pain from more of my yelling if he stood in the way. i offered that we could return to our positions when i came back. him holding a stool, me yelling "I came sanctity!! ALEX!!! CONNY HELP ME!!" but it was no go. eventually Conny tackled him, i ran through.

Mike was still acting crazy after that and driving me crazy while at it. so i decided to lock him in the garage while he fiddled with the recycling bins because apparently they are just too damn far from the kitchen. he started moaning like a zombie and pounding on the door. me and Conny laughed, she pointed out that he had his key and could easily get out of the garage and come through the front door. so i went outside and pounded on the garage door. *THUD* came the response back, on the door to the house though. puzzled i came back inside, and giggled some more. Conny said he needed 5 minutes in there to calm down. at this point i couldn’t breathe and had tears running down my face, so i had to let him out for the laughter was overcoming me. he seemed to have been leaning on the door because when i opened it he face-planted onto the floor. i peered over to check that he was still alive. he moaned, i giggled, stepped over him and went back to my work. eventually i wasn’t sure if i should call an ambulance, or George A. Romero. he was trying to crawl up the stairs, but he was only using one arm. so for a while i was trying to figure out if there was a dislocation. mind you, i was safely at the top of the stairs on the second floor. i had a good hour before he could’ve crawled up there. eventually i did threaten to call an ambulance and he abruptly got up, held his head and said ow. i said he needed water, but he ran away from it.

somehow we ended up going to mall for supplies for Conny’s cake. which translated to eating DQ [side bar: while at DQ, there was this dorky kid who yelled at another kid who had already made a purchase, assuming he had cut in line. he was only trying to flirt with the bimbos working there, who retaliated by dabbing each other with icing. i am NEVER eating there again, at least not on a weekend when bimbos run the damn place] and apparently these supplies can be found in Sport Mart. the guy came up and tried to help us. BIG mistake. no one ever manages to help. they just end up getting pulled into the story then written about here. Mike was going to buy a pair of shorts but then he claimed that something would be seen in them, something i wish to not mention here. the guy came up and asked what was wrong with the shorts and why we were laughing. he never did find out. he came back at least 3 times to try and help. so did one chick. but she gave up after the first try. at the check out, the helper guy was on register. suddenly out of nowhere, all i hear: "hey, i need new shoes." *blank stare* from my end. zOMG. we were so close to out of the store. the guy at the register laughed and offered to help. first he asked for shoe size.
Mike: *blank stare*
me: *looks at foot* "size 11".
Mike: pfft
Sales Guy: maybe you should measure your foot
<laughter>
i was ALMOST right, it was 11.5. after some random chit chat between us, Mike said something "your mom" so i replied with an even worse "your mom". a really really bad one involving f-ck. ’nuff said. the guy burst out laughing. he kept asking "are you sure about this?" and said that he was the first customer he ever had to ask that. then even at the register, after Mike tried to get a discount he asked again "are you sure?" even the other cashier chick laughed. at some point he also asked if we were always like this. he also ended up hearing the story of the BBQ [see one of the [previous posts].

then Bulk Barn there was another "your mom" incident and it made the sales guy laugh. sadly he was the only one within distance and i had to go up and ask him if he sold nuts, while still laughing [he too seemed to be holding down giggles]. last shred of dignity. gone. the cashier chick was boring. when Mike asked if he could have the icing squeezing tube, that i made him buy, for free  she angrily said "NO". not even, "NOK". just "NO". what a b-tch.

at Zellers Mike asked something about "depth" and a chick, and the sales guy nearby, who was on the phone, turned all red and was stammering to speak whilst holding down laughter. and again, more "your mom" jokes.

then at Loblaws Mike finally started recognizing the people who work there. and then he charged an 89 cent tub of margarine to his credit card. not even the one that would earn him points, just the boring old abused one.

*moans*

 
 
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