Monthly Archives: November 2007

alternate uses for the 360

i keep calling it an expensive paper weight, but that led me to thinking: what else can it be used as?
  • booster seat
  • open the tray and use it as a cupholder
  • rage therapy
  • re-enacments of the scene in the field from Office Space [where they smash the fax/copier/printer]
  • use it to hold windows/doors open
  • crack walnuts open with it
  • demonstrate the theory of gravity to school children
  • pinata for nerds
  • fix a wobbly table
  • book-end
  • use as a weight on the wii-mote when playing the "hamster wheel level" in Super Paper Mario on the Wii
  • [this one only applies if you have money to burn] give it as a gift to your enemy/ies
  • target practice
  • use it in place of a curling stone/hockey puck
  • press leaves/flowers
  • cutting board in the kitchen
  • hollow it out and stash stuff in there
  • smoosh bugs with it
  • throw at door-to-door sales people [and anyone else you don’t want showing up at your door for that matter]
  • weigh down a body when you are throwing it in the lake
  • balance it on your head in place of a book
  • use it in place of the open palm/backhand when smacking someone
  • turn it into a birdfeeder
  • throw it through the window [in place of a brick]
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Posted by on November 2, 2007 in Uncategorized


Ode to the Box

Oh XBox 360,
you cause us such pain
in the head
and in the wallet.
if we wanted such troubles,
we’d get married
have children,
then get divorced
for even that
would not compare
to the torture that is
the expensive paper weight
that causes such pain.
amuse us you do,
but moreso out of angst
and such rage you spark.
stupid red ring of death.
your help line is no better.
its all shit.

Posted by on November 1, 2007 in Uncategorized

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