Monthly Archives: August 2008

Newmarket+ Collingwood’s Scenic Caves

On Wed. Brent came to pick me up, we were heading to Collingwood for a few days. On the way up we stopped in Newmarket. he took me to where my friends had once lived, and he went so far as to take me to the sanddunes in which we, being me my sisters and friends, used to play in. it was a bad idea to go  in flip-flops and a sundress, plus: grass + freshly shaven legs x allergies= OW. the sanddunes were completely overgrown, as i had suspected. i did however get to see some slugs and some mushrooms. after that i was left at the newmarket mall to fend for myself, i.e.: shop. for the most part it sucked, until i went to Timothy’s and had some coffee, all of a sudden everything turned up roses. a massive sale! alas, i was quite cold at this point (sundress + flip flops in over A/Ced mall) so i ended up buying a shirt and some jeans… which i then changed into. i was left waiting outside, where i overheard some really weird people. these suburbanites are a whole new breed of folk. the people inside the mall were no better i might add.

the next day we set out to the Scenic Caves (having already arrived in Collingwood the night before). first we went to the suspension bridge, which is like a drunk walk. the bridge keeps shaking, even moreso when annoying children decide to jump up & down for lack of anything else to do. the fish pond was the best use of a quarter to date. for 25 cents we got a huge handful of fishfood plus the entertainment of feeding the giant fish and watching them scare off the seagulls trying to steal their food.

it was a long hike to first cave, and i ended up having to sit after first cave. there were some old ladies nearby, just as tired as me. the second cave, also a cold cave was a nice relief, my stupid long pants were too hot. but then i got a sign that said "smile the hard part is over".

there was some mud, and Brent made fun of me saying i was going to slip, which then resulted in him almost falling, a near-karma attack on him. i refused to squeeze through Fat Man’s Misery, which resulted in me being called a wimp. i stand by my refusal. outside of it i saw stick thin blondie, she was scary thin.
then there were some hick people trying to climb up rocks… i was waiting for them to fall, but it didn’t happen.

a nature trail looped us around to the first cave, for which there was no line-up but again i refused to squeeze into a small space. i saw those same hick people there, and one of the ladies was too fat to fit into the small space, i chuckled quietly. in my defense she was the one making outright jokes about it.

we went back to the fish pond and i plotzed in a double muskoka chair, it was the greatest chair ever.

in summary: the Olympics are boring, i found out what those damn "er" subway ads are for (Bell) and lastly: i am swearing off Kelsey’s for life. and i hope no one eats the second half of that sandwich (which i am glad i did not eat).

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Posted by on August 16, 2008 in The Roving Reporter

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