Sat. June 6, 2015:
It was decided that because we would be tackling the “kitchen sink” (read: 44 scoops of ice cream, give or take) we would have a lazy beach day. We grabbed our beaching supplies and headed out. Marianne had mentioned a great place to stop for bagels on the way. I pictured stopping at a little bakery and each of us getting a bagel and some coffee. I had no idea what I was in for. We went to Einstein Bros Bagels and ordered a baker’s dozen, thirteen bagels and three cream cheese ”shmears” as they are hilariously called. The guy tried to short us one bagel, but Marianne fought for it and Camilla got her garlic bagel.
Sitting on the beach at John U Lloyd park we tore into the box of bagels almost as soon as we sat down. A bagel brunch on the beach, it really was quite lovely. I had chosen sweet bagels (blueberry and cinnamon sugar), but I was still curious to try some “shmear.” Turns out that blueberry bagels and salmon spread really truly do not mix, not even the slightest bit. I don’t know if it is being on vacation, or that we were having breakfast and lunch, but I was voraciously hungry. Whereas back home I would eat half a bagel, I wound up eating both of my bagels. By the time we were through with the box, there were only two or three left.
Having eaten our fill of bagels, we slathered on the sunscreen and headed out into the water. From there we still had a good view of our bags. At first it was mildly disconcerting; people kept stopping by our bags. Then I realized it was because we had set up camp near a turtle nesting spot, oops. Even in Florida, with the sun behind clouds, the water was not that warm. I dreaded the cold water in the belly button, just about the worst feeling you can get when swimming. We lounged about, letting the current slowly push us and then swimming back to our original spot. Eventually I got cold and bailed, I left for land. When I went to the bathroom, there were a bunch of kids warning me that there was a raccoon. At first I thought, haha silly kids. Then lo and behold, a raccoon came out of the women’s bathroom. The kids scared him off, when I thanked them they looked at me a little puzzled like why is this lady thanking me? It was nice to lay down on the beach and listen to “How Ocean Currents Work,” especially given I knew exactly what Josh & Chuck were talking about.
We eventually got restless and headed back to the house. It felt so good to shower and wash off the layer of sunscreen before it managed to get into my eyes, as it always does. Once everyone was ready, we went to the mall. We had all been craving some shopping and there was no better time than a rainy afternoon. Alas I had no luck, not even with the Victoria’s Secret pre-sale. The sales lady even pulled out her stock boxes from under the table and started pulling stuff out for them, alas I was out of luck. We stayed at the mall while Ela went to pick up their mom from work. The nerves were starting to set in, were we going to be victorious against the “kitchen sink”?
The mood in the car was tense, full of dread and anticipation. We were on our way to Jaxsons’ to tackle a behemoth of ice cream. The mood was temporarily lightened when we accidentally drove to the airport. Many “don’t send us away, you can have all the ice cream” jokes ensued. We were momentarily distracted by the new elevated runway which had a highway underpass. There were four of us in the backseat, thus we were not wearing seatbelts and all crammed. A sheriff whizzed by and scared us all, Marianne had to duck down. Luckily the sheriff had more pressing matters to attend to. No sooner had the tension passed, we saw another cop. This one drove behind us until we pulled into Jaxson’s.
In our planning we forgot that an ice cream parlour/family-style restaurant might be kind of busy on a Saturday night. Might. The line-up was fairly long, but we busied ourselves by taking turns going to the nearby dollar store. We wound up waiting for maybe 30-60 minutes. It is really hard to say, as we were distracted. Part of the reason we had to wait so long was because we were a group of 6, and thus we had to wait for a larger table to clear out. At first we were distracted by two girls behind us in line taking duck-face selfies. I joked that it was a “face-off.” There was also a guy selling balloons and a guy with a monkey. As we waited we could hear a siren ring a few times inside. We figured it was people ordering the “kitchen sink.” Just how many people were in there eating “kitchen sinks”? I counted at least 5 rings. The feeling of competition was growing, I imagined us being surrounded by other people all with their own “kitchen sinks.” As we waited we watched a promotional segment on a TV mounted above the door. The video showed the making of the “kitchen sink” and only added to “we will never make it” mood. We did figure out that each person chooses one flavour and they serve monster-sized scoops. I had originally thought you get to choose up to 44 flavours, which in retrospect does not make sense as it would take forever to prepare. To save time, and aprtly because we were bored, we decided on the six flavours as we waited in line: coconut, vanilla, mint chocolate chip, rocky road, pecan praline, and chocolate brownie. Everyone was counting on me to do the bulk of the eating, I made sure they were aware that 1.) I refuse to eat the bananas and 2.) I would not even touch the vanilla or mint chocolate chip ice creams. Blech.
Once we were inside we found out that the siren was for birthdays as well. No one was eating a “kitchen sink.”
The restaurant serves complimentary popcorn and we devoured the bowl within a few minutes of sitting down. We had not eaten much that day in anticipation of the “kitchen sink” and so we were starving. When the waitress asked if we wanted a refill we had to decline, it was a bad idea to fill up on popcorn. When the girls at the table beside us heard our order, they looked amused and asked if they could take a picture of it upon arrival. Before the ice cream behemoth arrived, we had managed to sing “Happy Birthday” twice, to two different parties. We joked about saying that it was all of our birthdays just for kicks. Where we were sitting I had a great sight-line of the kitchen, I could see them making it. The sheer sight of the monstrosity off in the distance made my mouth water. As they paraded it through the restaurant to our table, we garnered a klot of attention. When they server brought it to us, she asked if it was anyone’s birthday. At the last second we all simultaneously chickened out of claiming our own birthdays and all at once shouted and pointed that it was Ela’s birthday. This was not a lie, her birthday was in fact a week away. She was caught off guard to say the least.
At the beginning it was fun, it was novel, the ice cream was served in a plastic “kitchen sink” with a giant serving spoon. There was a bowl of walnuts on the side. The ice cream was beneath a pile of whipped cream and maraschino cherries, flanked on the sides by bananas. We passed the spoon around, serving ourselves a few scoops and whipped cream. Each person searched for the flavours they wanted. Camilla worried that they had forgotten the mint chocolate chip, just as had happened in her dream the previous night. It emerged in round two of serving. And so it went, we passed the serving spoon around, the idea being that by the time it got back around to you, you were ready for your next serving of ice cream. This method fell apart quickly. Not everyone made it to round 3. As I as on bowl 4 some people had thrown in the towel, others were still nursing bowl 3. Marianne and I were out in the lead, Lucy was trailing us. The coconut ice cream turned out to be a total flop. It sat there, a sad mountain amidst almost-completely-eaten ice cream puddles. I had to dig around the mint chocolate chip, however the spoon had been tainted with mint flavour. The pecan praline added some much needed crunchy and lightness. The chocolate brownie was too rich for this dish. The rocky road came out on top as the clear winner, made with really good marshmallows. I finished off bowl 5 and folded up my napkin. I was on the verge of throwing up; one more bowl would have done it. Lucy, eating bowl 4, looked over at me in utter shock. Had I really been beaten?! (Previous record: two and a half servings of soft serve, if that doesn’t count, then half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s). Lucy intoned that if she were to eat one and a half more bowls she’d beat me? I pointed out she had ot first finish her current bowl. That did not happen. I had a few more spoonfuls from the sink itself, but I was done. Marianne was the winner by a few spoonfuls. Having been defeated, we smashed down the coconut mountain, so it would not look as bad, and called the waitress over. She had stopped by two times before, but we persevered, unable to accept defeat. I was getting the ice cream sweats, feeling dizzy and I wanted to go back and just lay there and not move for the rest of the evening.
In the end we had made an incredible dent in the “kitchen sink”, having eaten 3/4 to 4/5 of it. We had eaten a lot of ice cream, 2-5 bowlfuls each, if not more (you’ve got to count the spoonfuls directly from the sink). It was a long slow and quiet drive back, we were exhausted.
The trouble with ice cream is it is not that filling. Soon after we got back I was feeling peckish. I was not alone in this, Lucy was also hungry. We snacked on cucumber and avocado sandwiches, in an attempt to balance out all the sweet. Their mom told us that one of the cats, Przemek loves avocado and so we entertained ourselves for a bit, feeding him pieces. Not to be left out, we also fed Kazik (the other cat) his favourite vegetable: steamed asparagus. Tired and suffering ice cream comas, we settled in and played Ticket To Ride. Marianne wiped the board with us, I lost miserably, coming in a paltry last place. Instead of going to bed, I found myself catching up on Pinterest.