It is not secret that I dislike (despise? detest?) vegetables. We are not friends, not even frenemies. Veggies (save for a few good ones) taste bad and make me stick my tongue out and make horrid noises like AUGHSHAJKHHHAAAHHhH followed by a scrunched up face and finally defeat. I have tried in the past to make myself eat salad, everyone around me makes it look so easy, but I could not get past the horribleness of it. A while ago I had tried arugula (most likely crammed into a sandwich or baked onto a pizza- that is important) and so I thought to myself what better way to get back to being healthy than by eating an arugula salad with dinner! Genius! I was only able to find a giant box of it, they don’t sell it by weight for some reason. At the time I thought this was good- a week’s worth of salad, what a great Monday!
My Monday quickly fell apart as I tried to eat the arugula. Even bathed in honey dijon dressing and with mouthfuls of corn, red pepper and bean sprouts (the few veggies I like) I was dying. I could barely keep it down. Great, I thought, I have a whole box of this shit sitting in the bottom of my fridge. What the eff was I going to do with a giant box of these ungodly greens that only smell like I remember, not taste. What had happened? The internet suggested I douse them in anything strongly flavoured. Tuesday I soaked the arugula in a small amount of soy sauce and sesame oil (to match my chicken kebabs soaked in a marinade of those two base ingredients). The arugula shrunk and looking in the bowl, I thought surely I can eat more arugula than that and so stupidly I added more. This time I tossed the arugula in with my chicken and barley. A pseudo almost salad where the greens make up the smallest portion. Alas, the portion was still too big for me. Effin arugula, you cannot win against it! I say against, not with.
Day 3. I still had a lot of arugula in my fridge. I was actually mad at the thought of it going bad, even though that would give me the perfect excuse to not have to eat it. Back to the internet, apparently people have made it tolerable by turning it into a pesto (i.e.: mashing it up with other stuff). I found a recipe for pesto chicken, thankfully I just so happened to have some chicken in the freezer, because who doesn’t have chicken laying around their freezer. My little food chopper hardly counts as a food processor and it took me forever to chop up all the arugula (most of what was left, I am happy to report). The basil for some reason would not chop as well. I was not pleased with the chopped arugula and basil. It did not smell appetizing and it was then that I started to question if I even like pesto. Good timing for that no? I figured I would finish the pesto and just give it to my sister to cook with instead. Once I added the oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper I changed my tune immediately. Somehow it now smelled amazing. I was flabbergasted at how delicious it smelled all of a sudden… while still looking completely and utterly disgusting.
I maintain my hatred of vegetables. Good riddance.