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Category Archives: Proof I Hate Veggies

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It is not secret that I dislike (despise? detest?) vegetables. We are not friends, not even frenemies. Veggies (save for a few good ones) taste bad and make me stick my tongue out and make horrid noises like AUGHSHAJKHHHAAAHHhH followed by a scrunched up face and finally defeat. I have tried in the past to make myself eat salad, everyone around me makes it look so easy, but I could not get past the horribleness of it. A while ago I had tried arugula (most likely crammed into a sandwich or baked onto a pizza- that is important) and so I thought to myself what better way to get back to being healthy than by eating an arugula salad with dinner! Genius! I was only able to find a giant box of it, they don’t sell it by weight for some reason. At the time I thought this was good- a week’s worth of salad, what a great Monday!

My Monday quickly fell apart as I tried to eat the arugula. Even bathed in honey dijon dressing and with mouthfuls of corn, red pepper and bean sprouts (the few veggies I like) I was dying. I could barely keep it down. Great, I thought, I have a whole box of this shit sitting in the bottom of my fridge. What the eff was I going to do with a giant box of these ungodly greens that only smell like I remember, not taste. What had happened? The internet suggested I douse them in anything strongly flavoured. Tuesday I soaked the arugula in a small amount of soy sauce and sesame oil (to match my chicken kebabs soaked in a marinade of those two base ingredients). The arugula shrunk and looking in the bowl, I thought surely I can eat more arugula than that and so stupidly I added more. This time I tossed the arugula in with my chicken and barley. A pseudo almost salad where the greens make up the smallest portion. Alas, the portion was still too big for me. Effin arugula, you cannot win against it! I say against, not with.

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Day 3. I still had a lot of arugula in my fridge. I was actually mad at the thought of it going bad, even though that would give me the perfect excuse to not have to eat it. Back to the internet, apparently people have made it tolerable by turning it into a pesto (i.e.: mashing it up with other stuff). I found a recipe for pesto chicken, thankfully I just so happened to have some chicken in the freezer, because who doesn’t have chicken laying around their freezer. My little food chopper hardly counts as a food processor and it took me forever to chop up all the arugula (most of what was left, I am happy to report). The basil for some reason would not chop as well. I was not pleased with the chopped arugula and basil. It did not smell appetizing and it was then that I started to question if I even like pesto. Good timing for that no? I figured I would finish the pesto and just give it to my sister to cook with instead. Once I added the oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper I changed my tune immediately. Somehow it now smelled amazing. I was flabbergasted at how delicious it smelled all of a sudden… while still looking completely and utterly disgusting.

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I maintain my hatred of vegetables. Good riddance.

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Patio With A Side of Veggie

I had been dreading best patio for vegetarian/vegan food for a while, it’s not secret: I hate veggies. Looking over the menu at Live Organic and Raw Bar there were a few things (well 2 only) that caught my eye: grilled portobellos and soup. The soup of the day however was mushroom. At the time I thought nothing of it, forgetting how many times in the past I ate too many mushrooms and got sick. I was distracted by my bright fizzy drink, Fairy Dust and the really nice patio. The patio was like a backyard patio and so quiet, you could not hear the traffic of Dupont back there. It was quiet… except when the train rode past.

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The soup was pretty good. The grilled portobello was outstandingly delicious, well grilled, and brushed lightly with oil. We had learned from last time and skipped on the appetizer, leaving us with room for dessert. At a vegan/vegetarian restaurant dessert feels like a super win, how can it possibly be unhealthy? And such a healthy dinner too. We each had a nut square, mine was the clear winner, you can’t beat chocolate and hazelnuts, even with almonds.

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Mushrooms are not my friends. I really wish I had not just made a whole jar of pickled mushrooms   last week. I am afraid to try them and see if they even turned out.

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Ten Courses and a Martini

Best tasting menu was voted as Shoto at Momofuku. I had been wanting to go to Momofuku ever since I got wind of it, before it even opened. One hitch: the price is exorbitant to say the least. I was ready to settle for the first floor noodle bar (in total Momofuku is three floors, three restaurants). I filed Momofuku away under “places I will eventually eat at” (Charlie Trotter’s being recently removed from that list, as he recently died; Chez Panisse still being on that list given they had a kitchen fire a few days before we were to eat there) along with Noma, and Moto (which is closest of them all, in Chicago AND now has a Michelin star*).

My jaw dropped when Brent said the reservations had been made for us at Shoto. What?! I thought for his birthday dinner we’d maybe go out somewhere for a nice steak. I was not expecting a $150 ten-course chef’s tasting menu at a swank restaurant.

The set-up at Momofuku is well done: the patrons sit at a bar around the kitchen. If you are not eating, you are watching the chef’s in a choreographed dance of prepping dishes. There were 5-6 chefs, in a rather small space and somehow no one ran into anyone and it all (at least appeared) to go off without a hitch. Every dish was presented to each party individually, the chef would explain what was in it. Thankfully we were given a menu at the end so we could double-check if what we heard was in fact what it was.

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The meal started off with a few small amuse bouches, they were good and fun to eat. One was so basic and simple and yet it was our first (and not last) “oh wow” moment of the night. What was this fabulous dish we could not contain our enjoyment of? A square of rice held together with and fried in pork fat. The end. So simple, yet so delicious.There were a few other dishes that made us exclaim in foodie-joy. The pork fat rice was the only one where we simultaneously turned to each other and made faces. It is hard to say what the bset dish of the night was.

Was it the octopus, feta, black olives and broccoli dish? It made three things I hate: feta, olives and broccoli all delicious! For the first time in my life I actually (and happily) ate my veggies. But right after that we had a bite of the scallop dish and we were in heaven. I also hate scallops. But these were prepared in such a way that they tasted delicious, salty and saucy. As it turns out is also possible to make turnips taste good. I really thought they were food-world goners. Honest.

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One of the best dishes was a raw oyster with a dash of green chile on top. But I admit, I am biased, I love green chiles and have been in withdrawl the past month. Around the 7th course, which is the largest the staff check up on people to see if any white flags are being waved yet.Apparently a lot of people get beat by the ten courses, we were shocked. How can you pay so much, for amazing food, and not eat it all?

We decided against the option of pairings because we had plans to go for best martinis after dinner. The woman beside me however did order the pairings. We did not miss much, a lot of white wine. The only that caught my eye was the late harvest wine from the Niagara region. But it is all listed on the menu we were given afterwards. The woman beside me should not have had the pairings, she could not hold her liquor and it was bad. She invited a chef back to her hotel room to party. He declined saying he had a girlfriend. The woman later told him that she will break them up and get him. At some point he asked her how the courses so far had been, she said, and I quote, “I feel like a baby, trying food for the first time. You changed my world.” Did I mention that she said this really loudly, borderline screaming? He gave an awkward smile and walked away.

The people beside Brent did not know that it was a set menu, the woman was anxious about getting to order off of a menu. She was also full about halfway through the menu. Looking around we appeared to be the only normal people there. We saw an middle-aged business man with a rather old blonde, who started taking pictures together, even getting the chefs to take their photo. Then he would (loudly) explain business stuff to her. I should not have been able to hear him. Across the kitchen from us was a spray-tanned yellow-blonde middle aged man who I swear in his facial expressions looked like the dorky guy from Brooklyn 99, I half expected him to drop his muffin and instead exclaim in a Guy Fieri voice (he had the hair of Fieri) “I dropped my muffin.” Somehow Brent did not see the resemblance. There was also a mother there with her 14 year old son. It is not good when I am the standard for normal.

All in all Momofuku was fun. The food was amazing (easily one of my top meals of all time). The staff were awesome. Brent asked one chef how to make burnt mustard and he happily explained it to us. A great place to go for a splurge dinner. Unless you have a weirdo aversion or are super picky about your food and you simply refuse to eat celeriac ice cream. Yup, ice cream made from celery root. They can’t all be hits.

Satiated and not overstuffed, having eaten the perfect amount of food (I have no idea what those “can’t finish the whole menu” people were thinking). We stopped at the Consort Bar at the King Edward Hotel for best martinis on our way home. I joked about having two martinis- only I wasn’t joking, I really thought I could do it: drink two martinis. Hah! Brent had the original, I changed my mind from the pomegranate one (which had gold flakes) to the King George V, because it was actually a martini (except sweet vermouth instead of dry) but with a dash of orange juice. I can see why they are voted best and why the $20 price tag. The martinis were rather large, but also made with alcohol brands I had never even heard of. I had a sip of Brent’s and immediately regretted it. Really martinis are gross, olives are gross, gin is gross. I was not having it. Nor was I having a second martini. Turns out martinis, real ones, are strong as heck. Needless to say I nursed my martini. It hit in me slow intervals but the worst was the morning after. No matter how much Gatorade I drink, my mouth still feels dry.

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* I could go on and on about why I want to eat at Moto rather than anywhere else. I have wanted to go there before they got their Michelin star. Ever since I caught sight of the Modernist Cuisine cookbooks (which I also want to buy). Then I found out about their dessert nachos and I was even more in love. Add in their recent smores dessert dish?! HEAVEN.  

 

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Kupfert & Kim Made Me (Almost) Like Veggies

On our way down to a Jays game last week we stopped at Kupfert & Kim’s for the best wheat+gluten-free meal. I was super psyched about this, I just loved the idea of eating veggies, mm mm. That is sarcasm. There is nothing I despise more than veggies. Thankfully they also had some desserts on offer, I was a little hesitant but my chocolate/sweets craving was overpowering me. We got a brownie and a chocolate walnut ball to split. I took one bite of the chocolate ball, looked at Brent and grinned, he would be very lucky if he got more than one bite. It was amazing!! The ingredients listed on the label made this seem like an easy thing I can make at home- I have yet to, but it is on my list. The brownie was also surprisingly good, thankfully Brent was leaving room for his salad and I got most of it. The fact that it was wheat and gluten free made me think it just had to be healthy, no way was I eating unhealthy right??

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All I can say about the salad is this: way to go Kupfert & Kim! You actually made me eat (rather happily I might add) veggies!! Free-willingly! I went back for second, third and fourth bites!!!! The only downside was the construction of the salad, everything was layered and compartmentalized. I ended up mixing it all up with my fork so I would not get a bite that was just carrot or just quinoa (which had sadly been relegated to the bottom).

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Any healthy eating that may have happened before the game was undone during the game. I had initially wanted to get BBQ chicken nachos, but they appear to no longer exist. My anger faded when I saw that they had Quaker Steak & Lube wings! No sooner had I gotten an order of wings, Brent spotted another wacky nacho offering: this time with beef brisket. I was intrigued but ultimately disappointed: what kind of nachos are served WITHOUT cheese?! Non-nachos.

Amazingly I was still hungry after all this and demanded a stop at Marble Slab. I had been having an ice cream craving all day since seeing a commercial for DQ’s new Blizzard in A Waffle Cone. I was sad to see that apparently we don’t have that here in Canada and I was left the rest of the day with an insatiable ice cream craving.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2013 in Fooding, Proof I Hate Veggies

 

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I Can Now Officially Say: I HATE BRUSSEL SPROUTS

Last night Brent and I went out in the rain to have dinner at Woodlot, best new restaurant 2010, we had been meaning to go there for a while now. To say that the restaurant is bare-bones and minimalist is an understatement to say the least. It is insanely low-key and unassuming. There is no fancy decor or loud music or pompompery. Just tables and a second floor with more tables. There is a giant table beside the kitchen that we guessed was for walk-ins without reservations, they had to suffer through sharing a table with strangers. We periodically would laugh at the people down below (we were on the second floor overlooking the first). The kitchen is not hidden somewhere in the back, a magical place behind swinging doors that you only get a glimpse of. It is right there near the doors. We could watch them put food into the giant, and I really do meant giant, (wood-fired?) oven.

We knew beforehand what we were going to order. We figured we would be in and out of there in no time. We were wrong. Apparently our order was put in just after the orders of a fairly large group. People kept showing up to apologize/tell us our food was on its way. We had ordered the pork chops and the steak and when we placed the order she said due to the nature of the food it would take a little bit longer. It took a lot longer than a little bit. At least we had a nice view to keep us occupied. We got to watch them make stuff in the kitchen as well as check in on a weird couple at the common table. They were there when we got there, they were there when we left. It was weird, they were leaning in so close to each other, must have been intense conversation. Or they are just weirdos. I say the latter. Lucky for us they ordered the treat platter for two, which did not look all that astounding and therefore not worth the wait.

The food was really good, that is except for the brussel sprouts that Brent had ordered on the side. Turns out I am not allowed to say that I do not like them if I have never tried them. So I did. I had a bite, made a face and downed a lot of water. They are awful. No amount of grilling or topping with bacon could ever save them. They taste too much… like vegetables. The steak was better than the pork-chops but only because the first bite I had of pork chop was just fat. Which was mildly jarring to say the least. There were two pieces of steak left so I had one… only it was a piece of mushroom, whihc was really unexpected and yet again, jarring.

What we realized when we left is that we are fast eaters. Not to say that we inhale our food without savouring it. Just as soon as the food arrives, any socializing ceases and we eat! Every once in a while we will give a thumbs up or make a face, but as per talking, not a heck of a whole lot. We almost always look up the menus online beforehand so when we get there we know what we want to order, lest what is on special changes that, which I don’t think it ever has. It would appear we don’t really care much about atmosphere. What matters is the food. That being said, the atmosphere at Woodlot is relaxed, but also kind of dark. Not exactly the best lighting hence the less-than-perfect (to say the least) photographs. Or maybe I was too busy eating.

 

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