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Category Archives: Tales of the Two Craaaazy Roomies

*beep beep*

yesterday me and Mike finally cracked, we did yoga with Mollie, instead of sitting around being lazy. later on i was craving chocolate, so we went to Loblaws, i was gonna buy some brownies under the guise of "i deserved it, i got into OCAD". when we got there Mike INSISTED we go to the bakery [i am cheap, i was going to buy the pre-packaged two-bites]. he had his heart set on a giant cake. eventually i caved when he pointed out that the cost split is about the same as the brownies. so i caved. the chick asked us what we wanted written on the cake and we were like "uuhhmmm…… *look at each other* uhmm…. just surprise us…" and she stared at us as if we were nuts. she repeated the question, we debated a bit, and decided on "just surprise us" and she was like "uhmm…" and gave us another "you are so f-ckin’ insane, what are you tripping on?" look, paused, and then headed to the back to write something. we honestly had no idea what she was going to write, if she got what we were saying.
 
as a reward for doing yoga and taking a step towards healthy… we bought a chocolate cake with a side of diabetes. of course all that sugar, there was an inch thick layer of icing, led to severe hyperness.
 
later that night, still hyper, we were sitting around and talking:
 
*beep beep*
Mike: *laughing* that was my watch, i haven’t been able to find it for two weeks now. but i keep hearing it beep.
Me: *also laughing* yeah i keep hearing it randomly throughout the day, i didn’t know you lost it
Mike: yep. i can even hear it when i am in the shower.
Me: hehehe, yeah i can’t hear the doorbell, but i can hear your watch while i am in the shower. hell i can hear it from just about any part of the house, beep beep, *laughs*
 
sidenote: as i was writing this, the watch beeped
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breakfast pyros

Mike was craving breakfast food so we were going to go out and eat. but then instead we decided to stay in and make a giant breakfast. but this consisted of a trip to Loblaws to pick up supplies. but cake mix was on sale so Mike ended up having buy one of each flavour…. 9 cake mixes in total. and somehow we ended up with a waffle maker in the cart. then we found some tuna samples and Mike asked the sample lady if she knew how to make waffle mix. and she told us the ingredients and also suggested pre-made stuff. then she actually left her post to take us to where she thought it was. it wasn’t there so she asked a Loblaws employee and then took us to it!! it was awesome.

the breakfast was awesome. we trashed the kitchen and gorged ourselves while watching Little Britain.

later that night there was one last piece of waffle left. so we soaked in Johnny Walker Red label and lit it on fire. it was awesome. it was like a molotov waffle. we got some nice blue flames.

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2008 in Tales of the Two Craaaazy Roomies

 

Halloween PRE-Weekend

next weekend we’re throwing a halloween bash. yesterday at Loblaws it was a "tax free event" which i, as usual, freaked out over. i claimed that we could save given how much we gotta buy for the party anyways [and i secretly wanted pumpkins before all the good ones were gone]. so we get there, and the pumpkins in the outermost cartons were complete and utter crap. there was even one rotten one. so me being the one with the semi-small, semi-flexible body, not afraid to make an ass of myself, i started climbing over the cartons to get to the inaccessible ones at the back. so there i am standing amidst a bunch of boxes as high as my hips, on wooden skids [that didn’t seem very stable], you could only see me from the waist up. so i start digging to the bottoms of the boxes, at which point all you could see was my butt sticking up in the air, every once in a while i would surface with the biggest, roundest, cleanest pumpkin i could find. then i would move on to the next box. 3 pumpkins later, our cart is full. so we bailed it for a bigger one.
 
inside the actual store: we were prepared this time. we had a list. but no pen. so it was hard to keep track. we ended up looking like crazies… as per usual i guess. on Mike’s insistence, we bought a lifetime’s supply of food coloring. apparently enough to make black says he. it was a nice Sunday afternoon, normal families were doing their weekly grocery shopping. and there we are, cart full of pumpkins, hotdogs, soda and food coloring as we run around the store giggling madly.
 
we later ended up going to Wal-Mart to pick up the deco half of supplies for the party. or so i thought. apparently this was an excuse to buy beanbag chairs. there were only enough beans for 2, and there were only 2 that matched the living room decor. convenient? nope. fast forward to me and Mike in the living room. pondering how to get the little foam beans INTO the empty "chair"[can it even be called that if it is empty?]… it was no easy task. the beans were all staticky and kept sticking to everything BUT the inside of the chair. slowly but surely we started getting more on the floor and eventually ourselves [there was a bit of a mini-foam-ball fight at one point] than into the chair. after about an hour of picking them off the carpet few by few, we finished. and didn’t even glance over at the second one. which still lays in front of me… mocking me…. *shakes fist*
 
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Posted by on October 23, 2007 in Tales of the Two Craaaazy Roomies

 

CRAPBox

so last weekend me and Mike were chilling in the house… bored, as usual. Sunday morning i was sitting around, poking around on the laptop, Mike sat down beside me, bored just the same. next thing i know, he has turned on the XBox and is holding the laptop, saying that Chris [i think that’s who he said, meh tis what i shall call the person] said that it is possible to  connect to the computer wirelessly and stream TV shows and movies that we have on the computer. we tried this a few weeks ago, but needed updates from the Microsoft… which we couldn’t get because we didn’t have a harddrive because the damn piece of shit doesn’t even come with one. f-ckin’ piece of shit. Mike finally bought one becasue a game that he wanted to play finally came out for the XBox [up until then, it has served solely as a DVD-player and a royal pain in the ass] so Mike needed to save his game. duh. so now with the means to get the updates, it would seem that in a very short time we would be streaming TV shows and i would no longer have ot play AV girl, standing on the couch trying to screw the ___ cable into the projector, then the other end into the laptop… a pain in the ass this proccess was/is. so i was all gung-ho for it. but at the same time i had my suspicions that it wouldn’t be as easy as Mike was letting on, for it was an XBox we were dealing with here. i told him to just call "Chris" and have him do it, seeing as he said it can be done, ergo he knows how to do it. but nooooooo… Mike just HAD to do it himself. so there he was, clicking on a website, following step by step, downloading stuff, restarting the computer, disconnecting and re-connecting the laptop. and there i was sitting on the couch laughing but at the same time yelling about how much a piece of shit the damn thing is. and wondering how on God’s green earth they managed to sell so many units?! its a damn piece of shit! not even complete!! i think, were it not for GH [which looks awesome, i had tried it the day before at Future Shop, they made Surreneder on Medium easier, those assholes, made me think i was better than i was, then i crashed it, ah always with the wonderous CRASH] and Halo… it would never be this popular. damn piece of shit. half an hour passed. an hour passed. nothing. so i went on yelling about how Zune [the media player you have to use to stream your media to the shitbox] itself is also a giant piece of shit… dare i say it… worse than Real player, la creme de la creme of piece of shit media players. and then we found that it wouldn’t support our file types. brick wall. so Mike chanced upon the idea to convert the video files into formats supported by Zune. it took like 20mins to convert, so in the meantime i kept ranting and yelling… and holding my stomach in pain, for i was supposed to be recovering from massive abdominal pain and maintaining a stress-free state. the shitbox… was NOT helping, i wanted more than anything to just kick the damn thing… out the window… of a 14th storey building… onto a freeway… where an eighteen wheeler would run it over… and the bits would fly onto train tracks… where a super fast going train would make it disappear…
 
20mins later, we had a converted episode of Weeds. so Mike tried playing it. it lagged and was choppy. so he kept changing settings and restarting things. for an hour…. 1 WHOLE HOUR… i had to keep seeing the "previously on Weeds" clip… over and over and over….. MADNESS. i started quoting it and singing along with the theme song. and every time i would yell in agony, for it was starting to really get to me. and my stomach was twisting in angry knots. 20mins into it i kept saying "karsheeshian [however you spell the Armenian guys name] says guudbye" in a funny accent. 40mins in i was singing the theme song.. butchered mind you. 45mins… i was covering my eyes and ears screaming in agony.
 
and after all this downloading, converting, restarting, reconnecting, rebooting, reformatting, and changing of settings…. NOTHING. it was forever doomed to be choppy and crappy.
 
F-CKIN’ PIECE OF SHIT SHITBOX WITH ITS SHIT MEDIA PLAYER…. AARRRGH.
 
but we were kept amused for a good 2-3 hours. and i came out right. the damn thing is shit. and nothing more than a really expensive DVD player… that won’t even play HD/Blu-Ray DVDs… unless we buy the extra add-on….
 
nothing more than a giant money-making scam.
 
piece of shit.
 
oww my stomach.
 
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Posted by on September 15, 2007 in Tales of the Two Craaaazy Roomies

 

Missing Sock Haven

so i was helping Mike pack for his trip… 5hrs before he has to get up and leave for the airport. he sent me into his closet to find him some socks. i go in, look at the sock corner… and just start laughing so HARD. there were at least 50 pairs of white balled up at the top socks. i started laughing and said that the sock corner must be where all the missing socks from the dryers around the world end up. he didn’t really get what i was laughing at until he came over. took one look and burst out laughing. eventually i caught my breath and started sorting through. he told me to throw him the ones that needed throwing out. deep underneath i found a black fuzzy pair and threw them out of the closet. which just brought on another fit of laughter because the socks are just so funny looking! as i was going through i kept finding more things that were supposed to have been thrown out. in the end there was a giant box full of things to  be thrown out, including almost 1/3 of his socks. and i just couldn’t stop laughing and pointed out that most people do this after living in the house for a few years… not a few months!!
 
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Posted by on August 11, 2007 in Tales of the Two Craaaazy Roomies

 

Birthday Weekend ’07

i ‘spose it all started on Wed. when my shift ended, 3pm marked the beginning of my "accidental" [in that it just happened that way, i had not requested it] week off. i headed on downtown to visit Brent. in retrospect, not exactly the world’s greatest plan. for the temperatures had been [and still are] soaring into the 30s [40s with the humidex], but at least i had the sense to take the bus… the fare for which i had to pay in chump change, it went CLINK as i dropped in an assload of quarters. the heat was so unbearable i had to seek refuge in the ghetto mall that is Galleria, and with 5hrs time to kill until Brent was done work and my not wanting to set foot outside until need be, i decided on going to see a movie. the simpsons movie. it was awesome. afterwards i called my sister, had an awesome chat with her, but had to cut it short so i could go in search of something to drink. i was craving Jones soda, but for the most part i had trouble finding it in London. yet… there it was. in all its glory. so began my spree of awesomeness. [other than: when i got home from my super long walk, i had a really funny sunburn on my back, two triangles from my backpack]
 
today, being a saturday, being the weekend, i recruited Mike to go downtown with me. everyone else bailed. *throws shoe*
we walked along the bike path to get to Harris Park to see the Balloon Festival. on the way, we managed to miss the walking path and kept having to dodge bikers [which soon became the theme of the day, so much so that towards the end we didn’t even move aside and they had to ride on the grass. it was my hope that they would learn to ride on the road. why isn’t it like in Toronto where you get fined for riding on the sidewalk?!]. bananas. bananas are great in: banana bread. our nation’s foremost poet in 1932 wrote a poem about bananas. me and Mike "accidentally" ventured into the banana kingdom, as some [funny & clever] vandal deemed part of the bike path. we started laughing about people who would end up reading the messages spray painted on the path and crashing. later after we left the kingdom, some people were biking towards us, they too spoke of the [upcoming, for them] banana kingdom. we mentioned that it was awesome. they didn’t hear us.
 
we finally did get to Balloon Festival [along the way we laughed at a couple making out on a log] and there were two poeple in front of us and three in front of them, we wondered if they were all a group. or just two seperate groups, making us the third. one guy, i swear it, looked so damn familiar. balloon fest kinda sorta sucked. it was $256/person for a hot air balloon ride.
 
exhausted, and drinking really bad water that we got from a water fountain in the park, we headed off to Crabby Joe’s for lunch. our waitress was awesome. in the time between her taking our order and coming back with a pitcher of water and update on the status of our drinks [due to there being a new bartender who had to look up the recipe] we had managed to cover half the table in awesome doodles [they have paper over the tableclothes and provide you with a mug full of crayons] and she was very impressed. we had to move to the other half of the table to continue our doodles. he ended up drawing the story of what happen to his sims [the grandpa had gone crazy and the doctor couldn’t get into the house to save him because there were two smelly people in the way telling each other how smelly they were]. there were also: a zombie, Jesus wishing me a happy birthday, a church that turned into a rocket with Bonita trapped in it that turned back into a church but alas was on fire, Batman who came to save it, Fat Matt who ate Batman, Robin crying because his lover was dead, Robins NEW ass-lover, stick-Jesus flying to save the church, a random dinosaur with bubbles, Vonita, a person wiggling his ass to Let’s Get it Started by the Black Eyed Peas, a doctor fixing the ass-wigglers broken head, a real doctor who was crazy and being followed by lightning bolts, an improperly drawn ass-wiggler who got turned into someone in a hula skirt and some random faces, a message that said "i’ve been used", a happy birthday message to myself that got hijacked by Mike, and a tic tac toe game [for which the grid had already been drawn and it said Tic Tac Joe] which i had won [i was o’s] which turned into a three eyed face.. i think that about covers it all?
 
Mike was deciding what to order for dessert. mine was covered by the birthday thingy in that: at Joe’s they give you a free sundae on your birthday [i still have the sparkler that was stuck in it and not lit]. he coudn’t decide, so he swore. and the waitress was like "wow" she didn’t expect that dessert could make someone swear. after our meal we were given scratch & win cards. Mike won soup. i won something waaaaaay better: a frisbee!! [which is funny because earlier on the bike path there was just a random frisbee laying there and i had wanted to take it home]. our waitress was so awesome that she even refilled our water bottles for us.
 
next we headed off to Victoria Park for Ribfest. this was my third time going to it. although the first two barely count 😉
we ended up visiting every vendor tent… yet, we somehow never even ended up going near the rib vendors! as per usual, Mike bought stuff, i contemplated buying just about every single thing i saw with an elephant on it.
 
on the way home, the icing on the cake that was my wondeful day: i found a $5 bill in the grass. ooh i also saw a really cute cricket.
 
i now have a blister the size of the top half of my thumb RIGHT ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT.
best day ever.

photos:  click here [if that doesn’t work, copy&paste:  http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9955&l=aa290&id=507826527  ]

 
 

HORRORscopes

note: leo, tiger, virgo lady with water. GRAWR. confusions. CRABS. CANCER BAD?whistling, soul mates, frolick in fields
 
this is more a tale of mine and Mike’s insomnia and random-before-bed-hyper-activity-giddiness.
 
last night me and Mike were chatting as per usual, but somehow [God only knows] we strayed from our conversation that i now do not remember:
 
Mike: one day you’ll be a cougar
Pinka: GRRRR… NO!
Mike: ahahahhhaa
Pinka: i may be a tiger and a lion… but not a cougar
Mike: what?
P: i am a tiger in chinese horoscope and a leo a.k.a. a lion, in regular horoscopes. explains why i like to sleep in the sun. ahahhaa, i am a cat
M: so i am one too?
P: well not really, you’re a tiger, but you’re not a leo. you’re a virgo.
M: what’s a virgo?
P: a lady with a pitcher of water
M: hmm
P: lol you’re a lady with water on a tiger and i’m a lion on a tiger
M: why does the chinese horoscope get more attention?
P: so you want it to be a tiger on a lady with a pitcher of water???
M: isn’t there also a crab?
P; yes, its Cancer
M: but cancer is bad!
P: no, its a horoscope sign
M: oh!! hmm
P: LMAO remmeber that time at the pet store when i said i wanted crabs?
 
later:
 
M: can you whistle?
P:  tear, no i can only get one note, and not by blowing out air, only by sucking in
M: me neither! HIGH FIVE!
P: but i can whistle with grass
M: aww, i can’t
P: tomorrow we skip work and i will teach you. we will frolic through the fields, running towards each other whilst whislting with blades of grass
M: wow, that actually does sound awesome
P: i know!! we totally should
 
more later:
 
P: wow, so we both can’t whistle. we’re soul mates!!!
M: yeah!
P: we have so much in common. like.. like… we both have tans!!! ahahahhahaha 😉
[we go on listing what we have in common… it eventually becomes redundant]
 
 
 
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