ColoradoSD- Day 9

Mon. July 3, 2023 Morrill, NB to Denver, CO to HOME!!!

I woke up at 6:30am and there was no going back to sleep. Our flight wasn’t until 5pm. The original plan had been to do more stuff in Denver, but that fell apart when we found out just how much Denver sucks. Driving, I saw a hawk sitting on an electric pole and he swooped down. It was really hard to drink my Starbucks coffee on the bumpy road. We had time, so why not go back to Cheyenne, WY to the Luxury Diner. It was so damn good. Saw another hawk sitting on a fence post.

At the Luxury Diner Brent ordered the breakfast burrito again. I opted for the stuffed French toast: basically, an egg, ham and cheese sandwich but the bread is French toasted. It was very good and somehow oddly not that heavy. If we ever go back to Cheyenne we are so going back to that diner. Maybe one day for the rodeo? The server was talking it up as we were leaving. Even though it was still weeks away.

Brent found a movie theatre in Fort Collins, CO that was showing Asteroid City at 10:55am. We got to the town early, even after the breakfast pitstop. I had found a Victoria’s Secret next door to the theatre. Turns out, ours was a different theatre, but only 10 minutes away. Fort Collins was bigger than I’d thought. We were early so we walked around the outside of the mall waiting for it to open. I dug through the last dregs of the sale and got some deals. The theatre next door was showing the movie, but not until just after 11am. So we didn’t change plans. Good thing we didn’t, there were 25minutes of previews! The popcorn and movie were a good distraction for me. And it was way better than spending any more time in Denver. Asteriod City was good but nowhere near as good as some of his other movies. I had ingested two coffees and I was still so tired.  There was an elk grazing just off the freeway, less than an hour away from the airport.

Just outside the airport there was a travel plaza: gas station, bathrooms and a food court. The Auntie Anne’s there had the worst selection I had ever seen: they only had cinnamon sugar or sweet almond. Brent was not happy with the sweet almond. I ordered a small coffee (which was still rather large) from Dunkin’ Donuts (the first and only one I had seen on our trip!) and a cruller. She gave me two. Except there was a Voodoo Donuts inside the airport. And a Shake Shack. This was one of the best airport meals I’d ever had. At Shake Shack a lady had ordered a double burger for each of her 5–6-year-old kids. I really hope she was hungry.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 8

Sun. July 2, 2023 Wall, SD to Morrill, NB

The coffee in the hotel was so bad, at least it was flavoured creamer and not that awful powdered stuff. I needed just a little bit of caffeine to tide me over. I googled where we were staying and it was called a village. When we searched nearby movie theatres (because what else is there to do in Nebraska?) they were all only 1-2 screens, all showing Indiana Jones and none showing Asteroid City (our movie of choice). This time I was smart, at the gas station I grabbed not one but two Gatorades, some Swedish Fish and a Mr. Goodbar.

I had spoiled the Crazy Horse Memorial for myself with an in-room brochure back at the hotel. Until then I had no idea what this was going to be. I had been expecting a statue, not another head carved into a mountain. The museum was very disjointed. They had objects and contemporary art pieces from Indigenous people from all over North America, broken down by geographical area. But then there was also a display of the tools used? You could also take a piece of the carved away rock home? The carving isn’t finished? It’s still going? There was also a display about Crazy Horse himself but that actually made up a small portion of the museum. Outside there was a sculpture garden, with metal sculptures, one was in memory of 9/11. It had nothing to do with the Crazy Horse Memorial and I was thoroughly confused. Probably one of the worst museums/attractions ever? And one with the most expensive options I’ve ever seen: you can pay hundreds of dollars for them to drive you up to the carving site. WHY?! Just about every image in the place had a copyright symbol on it. There was also a case with Wizard of Oz dolls. It made no sense.

At the other end of the spectrum and up next: Mammoth Site. The main reason we went here was because I was on Google Maps looking for lunch options on the drive. Beside the DQ I noticed the camera marker and clicked on it. Mammoth Site sounded cool. And it was! Even the grasshopper thought so, because he popped up out of the side storage on my door. He had not been there earlier, it was where I kept snacks so I was constantly digging in there. We’ll never know if he survived or got eaten by one of the magpies hanging around the parking lot. Mammoth site was still an active excavation. They constructed a building and museum around the dig site. It was a 19,000-year-old sink hole and we got to walk around it on raised platforms, seeing it from up above and down below. It was well designed, they had a lot of information panels, as well as markers in the dig site itself, denoting various things like hard-to-see footsteps or age markers. They also had exhibits about other animals that would have lived around that time. The giant sloth is really well and truly giant. You hear it in the name, but when you actually see it scaled against others. It was enormous.

Back at the car there was no sign of the grasshopper. We stopped at DQ for lunch. The cake batter cookie dough Blizzard was amazing and I sort of regretted getting a snack size. Today had been scheduled as a day for catching up on anything we may have missed. Which was nothing. Everything was going perfectly so far. All we had left for the day was: get to the hotel, IN NEBRASKA. Alas, there were no movie theatres even remotely near us or our destination. Not without a couple hours detour- one way. So much for going to see Asteroid City.

As per usual, I was falling asleep in the car. Thankfully Brent woke me up when it was time…. NEBRASKA!!!! State #41!!!!

Nebraska was a whole lot of nothing. Yes, it was kind of sort of scenic in the flatness-that-goes-on-forever sense? But we did not pass a single car, house, business, ANYTHING for what felt like a really, really long time. We stopped in the town of Scott’s Bluff, which true to it’s name did have a small bluff in the background. Albeit, it was short. And I barely counted it, still referring to the land as flat. Turns out the Starbucks in town is inside of a Target. A Target that did not have Old Bay Goldfish or a good drinks selection. But the Starbucks was great, no line, quick service. I finally got my bumblebee cake pop. We drove to a liquor store that turned out to be a restaurant. We drove a second store. Brent said the selection was horrible. I was confused by this assessment. I had never seen so many different single cans of Cutwater cocktails! I got the strawberry margarita. It was only 2pm but we had nothing else planned for the rest of the day, save for dinner.

The Cutwater strawberry margarita was delicious. The Monaco black raspberry vodka cocktail was also delicious. It was a bit much to have before dinner. Ah well. It had been a lot of driving and Brent debated if we should drive back to town or just eat at the diner next door. I didn’t care, I had pre-selected menu items from both. The place in town was a brewpub I had found online and that’s where we ended up going. The Flyover Brewpub was totally worth going back for. It totally seemed like a local hangout and was busy. The woodfired oven pizza was topped with pepperonis and honey except I didn’t notice that it also had goat cheese. It was ok once those pieces “fell off” my slice. The Korean BBQ wings were delicious. As was the soft pretzel with beer cheese dip. I had ordered a 5oz glass of the guest tap, as it was the only cider available. It was so good I got a second 5oz glass. I was too full for dinner, but at the gas station on the way in I had gotten a Reese’s crispy bar (along with a Starbucks caramel coffee for the morning). Friends wasn’t on, but Bob’s Burgers was. Later The Office was on. I tried watching new The Simpsons but it was just so bad. I started reading The Paris Apartment but I was way too tired to read, I ended up going to bed around 9:30pm, exhausted from family stress back home.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 7

Sat. July 1, 2023 Custer to Wall, SD

I had a small cup of coffee from the hotel breakfast buffet because they had milk for the cereal. I made the mistake of adding a hazelnut creamer, it was way too sweet in my tiny half cup of coffee. At the liquor store yesterday, Brent had gotten two Ghost energy drinks because they are highly rated. The can is SO BIG and it has twice as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. The downside is who can drink that much liquid?! The orange creamsicle was surprisingly good. The Boulder Canyon (Colorado) chips were pretty good. The GPS took us to a non-existent Starbucks. Back on the highway. I had more luck in Rapid City, SD. I could see the Starbucks from the highway so I knew we weren’t being led astray this time. The Starbucks was so busy I had time to go to the bathroom before my drink was ready. My drink was ready in under 10 minutes, my cake pop was trapped behind a bunch of food orders that hadn’t been triaged. I gave up after 15 minutes and left and got my money refunded via the website.

We were passing so many billboards for Wall Drug. I would read them out loud. One said 5 cent coffee, I was psyched for that. I knew the caramel frappucino would not hold me over. The ads were so far out from the destination, it seemed like there was nothing else there. As you got close the ads switched to getting ready to exit, you don’t wanna miss it etc. In the car in the parking lot of Wall Drug, Brent looked up on his phone where our dinner plans restaurant was, if it was walkable. Except the map was still showing on the car display and I was dying laughing: we were in the parking lot for it, it was right there. Our GPS marker was overlapping with the name of the restaurant on the map. I laughed so hard I ended up having a coughing fit.

At first glance, Wall Drugs seemed huge. It took up a whole block and it had a smaller set of stores behind. We had circled the exterior before going in. The outside is deceptive, inside it’s more like a mall with a bunch of smaller stores. The mens bathroom was closed so went across the alley to the smaller building. They had an arcade but it didn’t have Cruis’n USA, only the most recent version which I have at home. We stopped in at the restaurant where they did indeed have 5-cent coffee, but for dine-in only, it tasted like you’d expect. The old-fashioned donut was surprisingly good. The pie was a surprising dud. I don’t entirely blame them on that one, they pretty much have to crank out pies on an industrial level for the tourists. But still, I had a secret hope for damn good cherry pie. I bought some silver bird earrings, I debated buying gold jewellery, it was all advertised as “Black Hills gold” and being unique but it wasn’t really and it was just too expensive.

We entered Badlands National Park via the Pinnacle entrance, fitting as we were at the very top of the lands.  We drove along the shorter route first, heading west and away from the main park. There were beautiful views down into the badlands below. At the prairie dog town there were no fences or signs, so people had kind of stomped onto the land all in excitement about bison far off in the distance. It felt awkward and I wanted out of there. There weren’t very many cars on the road after that, no one seemed interested in the minimal campground.

At the Sage Creek lookout there were so many grasshoppers, I kept almost stepping on them. We were driving with the windows down and a grasshopper just launched himself into the car. He thwacked the gearshift pretty hard. Brent thought he was dead and went to scoop him with a napkin, at which point he jumped towards Brent’s leg and disappeared somewhere in the back seat. Instead of doubling back, we took a highway across just below the park to get to the middle entrance. We passed by Buffalo Gap National Grassland, there were enormous prairie dog towns, I joked about urban sprawl. True to its name, there was a herd of bison far off in the distance on the grassland. It counted, we saw wild bison, even if it was a far-off blur seen from a moving car. I had barely registered what I had been looking at. Going back up towards the park, we were on a small tiny road, this was clearly not one of the main entry points. At least we got unique views of the landscape, we were down below now and looking up. It helped that there were tonnes of sunflowers all in bloom. Brent pulled over to see if he could find the grasshopper. After a thorough search of the car, that I did not help with because I was too busy taking pictures, the grasshopper was nowhere to be found. He had up and disappeared. We also found out that this was a way to enter the park for free. There were no toll gates.

Our first stop back inside was a picnic ground that had bathrooms. Brent debated if we needed to check the area out, it was a picnic area and we had only stopped for the bathrooms. I saw info panels to read and the start of a small trail over a hill. Except on my way back from the panel, Brent was standing on the hill. He had noticed some people looking down and when he went over and looked, there were two bison down below! So much for the trail. We were definitely a little too close, but at least we were up on a hilltop? It was incredible to see. One of them started taking a dust bath and it was just so damn cute. There were people picnicking nearby who seemed to have no idea what they were missing.

We backtracked a little to where we had first entered the park to see the 2-3 scenic overlooks we had missed. The second half of the park, aka the main part, was way more popular. The road was actually paved and way busier. There were so many scenic overlooks, and each one was different. Mounds, bigger formations, variations in colour, prairies. I was getting really thirsty at this point. I had finished the iced tea long ago. At the beginning of our tour, and the queso Ruffles were bad and not helping. A park ranger flew by us, sirens flashing and we never did find out why or what was going on. There was a kid climbing a fence and the mother yelled at him “what the shit?!” and I secretly laughed at that. So dumb, but also so in keeping with so many adults we have seen over the years, all for a selfie. I saw not one, but two guys who looked like Scott.

We stopped in at the Cedar Pass lodge, maybe 4 hours after we had started the trip? I was so relieved to finally have a drink. Mello Yello has never tasted so good. I also devoured a Butterfinger. The Visitors Centre next door was awesome because they had fossils on display. This was what I had been expecting at a previous stop, “fossil trail”, was more of a boardwalk with info signs and people with no regard for fences. Whole families in fact. No one cared about the panels, they were all about climbing all over everything. The Visitors Centre display exited into a gift shop that was so crowded. Brent lifted an arm and led the way, cutting a swath through the crowd. A guy saw him getting through and followed behind me, laughing and asking “is hos how to get out?” I told him we were city people.

There were a few bonus overlooks on the way out. We saw everything. We saw all of the Badlands. I was tired. I was hungry. IT WAS AWESOME. There was a huge line of cars trying to get into the park. I guess they were getting ready for the sunset? It did take us close to 5hours to see everything. The original plan for the day had been to go see a movie in Rapid City in the afternoon, but it turns out there was so much to see in the Badlands that there was no time for that. At the last overlook I used a makeup remover wipe to get the sunscreen off. I had put on so much, no way was I getting another burn. But now it was running into my eyes.

Back in the hotel room I felt so much better after my shower, I soaped myself three times in an effort to remove every last trace of sunscreen. The Steel Reserve Spiked watermelon drink was ginormous, 24oz (!), but for a malt beverage from Milwaukee it was really good. Albeit, I felt super trashy drinking it. We had dinner at the Badlands Saloon. The cheese curds arrived before my margarita. But they were some of the best damn cheese curds I’ve ever had in my life. The breading was light and they were just perfect. The margarita finally arrived. It had raspberry syrup and jalapenos, an odd but good combo. And because it was on the rocks it was easier and faster to drink. Alas, the service was slow. For my main I had the “cowboy slop” which doesn’t sound good but was in fact very, very good. Mashed potatoes and corn topped with fried chicken bites. A drunks delight. Brent had the whiskey sauce steak tips which were also delicious. Better than the last steak tips we had.

For dessert we went back to Wall Drug. They had “homemade style” ice cream. That should have been my clue: style. I ordered a scoop of butter pecan and it was the worst ice cream I’ve EVER had. It was just shitty vanilla with a few pecan pieces. I gave up and passed it to Brent. Thankfully I had also ordered a chocolate chip toffee cookie as an emergency backup dessert. We went back to the smaller building to see the animatronic dinosaur display (Brent had missed it in the morning, it played while he was in the bathroom and was on a 12-minute cycle). It was made to look like a T-rex was breaking through a fence and going to chase you. Everything else except the toilets was closed. Back in the main building, the men’s bathroom was finally open. Meanwhile I ended up buying Paw Patrol themed Uno cards for my nieces and nephew. It was right there beside the bathroom! I stopped in at the fudge shop and got amaretto chocolate fudge for dessert instead (having forgotten about the cookie in my purse). It did not disappoint. On the walk back to the hotel we stopped in at the gas station for more drinks. The selection was very limited, but by the register there was a small fridge with Mike’s Hard Lemonade. It was labelled “casino bottles” and they were cheap, $2 each! We ordered those and then walked through the “casino” to the exit. The casino consisted of a tinted door, with an age restriction, leading to a small room (closet?) with a few electronic gambling machines and an exit to the outside. On the walk we heard what sounded like rhythmic drumming, turned out it was just a guy moving buckets in his driveway. So bizarre. Another night of Friends! I regretted not getting a Gatorade or a soda at the gas station.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 6

Fri. June 30, 2023 Custer to Sturgis, SD

We had to wake up early, we had a 7am reservation for a wildlife/bison safari tour of Custer State Park. It was an easy wakeup, I had gone to bed at 10pm and had actually slept well. There were only two other people on our tour, so no awkward middle seats, we all got window views! It was a stretch Jeep with no windows actually. We were barely a few minutes into the tour and we saw a pronghorn doe. Then up ahead we saw a male bison, munching away on the grass ahead of mating season. Up ahead we could see a whole bunch of bison. There were a lot of them and quite a few calves. It was adorable because the moms would grunt to the babies. They were all some stage of shaggy as they shed their winter coats. They were just grunting, scratching and chomping. Two calves were running around chasing each other and playing. The guide said, and I have to agree, that they had the zoomies. They were so focused on eating grass, they paid us no attention. I guess they are also used to cars? We saw a pronghorn buck lounging in the grass. There were beautiful views of the Black Hills and we saw the river where they first discovered gold (albeit further up and out of the park). There was a hawk who got dive-bombed by small birds. He resigned to just sitting in the grass and they still kept circling him. We saw a prairie dog “town”. The grass was much shorter and there were little dirt hills everywhere. They were running around, squeaking, standing on hindlegs, it was too adorable. We saw a turkey momma and her chick cross paths with a white-tail deer. The tour guide told us that the best place in the park to see bighorn sheep was on the road we had come in on the day before. Yes! That was the way were leaving today! Apparently, they like to lick the salt off the road from the winter. Now we debated, was that what we had seen yesterday? The tour was awesome, if a bit artificial. The bison in the park are all managed, so they’re “wild” but not entirely? We also saw some burros that had been brought in decades ago for tourist rides, but that business failed so they were turned loose in the park.

At the hotel gift shop, I bought some chips and a PayDay to hold us over. The Uncle Ray’s sour cream cheddar chips were so, so, SO bad. They were bland and dry. And blech. In almost the exact same spot as yesterday we saw the same creatures. Except this time there was one more. And he had big giant horns. BIGHORN SHEEP! It had been hard to tell yesterday and it was all ladies. But now it was so very, very clear. They did not care at all about the cars. Once they were off to the side of the road, the single male tried to get with a lady but she wasn’t having it and he slid right off.

We took the long way to Mount Rushmore via the Needles Highway. The GPS was not happy, it kept telling us to turn around, “proceed to the route.” No. We want scenery. At first the “scenic” part of the highway was underwhelming, there were one or two kind of cool looking rock formations, but it didn’t really feel like it was worth the extra time detour. It was only 20 minutes into the drive I could see why it had been recommended. Suddenly there were giant, narrow rocky formations. There was a tunnel between two that was aptly named eye of the needle. It was funny to watch giant trucks have to turn around because they wouldn’t fit. The views were stunning.

On the way we had a bonus stop at Sylvan Lake for a nice view. There was an osprey circling around the lake, I had my camera at the ready should be swoop into the water. Alas he didn’t. There was even a dead fish floating by the edge! Easy lunch!

Mount Rushmore was every bit as lame as expected, I think I may have been more impressed with the parking garage. It was giant like at a mall! It was also super busy. Before we even got there, there was a road sign saying that North by Northwest and National Treasure 2 had been filmed in the area. I wondered if anyone else was there purely because of the Hitchcock movie? Or was it just me? This giant stupid thing that you have to see solely because it is a giant stupid thing? I was grateful for the toilet break. And I bought a souvenir magnet for my sister and family as a thank you for home care. There wasn’t much to do besides look at it. They had an exhibit about the creation and the only highlight from that was a blow-up of a newspaper clipping quoting one guy who said it was just a job like any other. On our way out I quickly took an “I’m crushing your head” photo. Oddly no one else was doing that or the classic nose-picking picture?? I thought for sure I’d see more of that.

We drove to Deadwood, it was so painfully fake and touristy, ooh look a fake goldminers hotel, a saloon, that it didn’t even warrant getting out of the car. We saw it. It counts. It was 1pm and we had not passed a single fast-food restaurant. Or really any easy food. Thank god I had gotten us those morning snacks, else I’d be mega-hangry (it’s gotten worse as I age). We passed a drive-thru liquor store but that is more of a southern thing, plus we had already done it. Driving through Spearfish Canyon, it was pretty, but there weren’t really any scenic overlooks or stops. We stopped at Devil’s Bathtub but it was just a small creek with a non-working mill. Yet there were so many cars stopped there? We also stopped at Bridal Veil Falls, it was nicer than the Alberta Waterfall we had hiked to a few days previous. We got in the car and started to leave but Brent saw that everyone was looking at something. They were all staring upwards at the pother end of the parking lot. There was a Canadian mountain goat sitting on a rock. Further along there was one grazing. Further along we saw a momma and her baby grazing.

On the map I could see that there was a Walmart just beside the freeway onramp. Therefore, we had to take a detour. It was a BAKING BONANZA! Cherry baking chips! Espresso baking chips! FILLED BAKING CHIPS. I had never even heard of these last ones. I had to dig to the back to get the third flavour. I also got white chocolate pudding- I couldn’t remember if we have that in Canada or not. Better not risk it. I also got chocolate-covered strawberry Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Alas there was no sign of the Nutter Butter cakesters. We got Reeses cupcake snackcakes. They were surprisingly good. All that and I forgot about the Old Bay Goldfish crackers. Dammit.

We were staying the night in Sturgis, SD. It is known as a biker town and they have a huge festival where everyone converges on the town. Thankfully that was not this weekend. We parked on Main St. and walked the main stretch. The Roadkill Café where we planned to have lunch had unfortunately been replaced by what looked like a Hard Rock Café knock-off. I had been a little suspicious because when I tried to input it on Apple Maps during the drive, no such place showed up. We went to the bar across the street, One-Eyed Jacks Saloon for a drink. I was a little thrown off. I half-expected a tourist-y menu of motorcycle-related cocktails. Nope. It was easy for brent, he could just order beer. I panicked and just said rum and coke. Only later did I realize that everyone seems to prefer Jack Daniels, based on all the banners. The saloon felt like a biker bar. It was huge but only ¼ of it was currently operational, the rest was set up for the rally and sat unused. There were four “bar pits” outside alone. Plus, there was the upper deck we didn’t explore. We continued down Main St. to the motorcycle museum. We had no other plans for the day. It was a nice little museum. They even had motorcycles in the bathroom anteroom. I just didn’t understand any of the tech specs of the bikes. I just kind of looked at them and thought about Cannonball Run. We stopped in at Oasis because it seemed like another true biker bar. This time I had a Jack & coke. For those of you keeping score at home: that’s two stiff drinks on an empty stomach. This bar felt more “bikery” if that makes sense. Some regulars even came in, the bartender joked (?) about cutting him off.

We stopped in at the liquor store. They didn’t have any ciders so I got some mixed drinks instead. On the way to the register, I saw that they had Buzzy Balls! I hadn’t had those since Texas! I got two. We drove to the hotel as it was close to downtown. We unpacked, and I realized we could pour drinks into the coffee cups provided in the room. Walking drinks. Smart. Except it was hard to drink and I spilled some on myself. We walked back to town (literally a block from where we had just been parked) for a late lunch that was borderline and early dinner. Knuckle Saloon was the highest rated place in Sturgis, plus it was another of those giant bars that seemed purpose-built for the rally. It was legitimately one block long. I had more luck drinks-wise this time around. They had a margarita machine. The guy told me it was newly installed so he had no idea if it was good. I don’t know what kind of machine it was, but I’ve never had a frozen margarita that cold or that smooth and not icy. My tongue actually went numb. There was a small layer of frost forming on the outside of the cup. I was impressed. They are known for their wings so we ordered sweet chili flavour. Apparently, they also serve “world famous” breaded and fried steak tips. It was ok. The grilled cheese with ham was way too salty. The real winner of all of the dishes was the potato salad, were the potatoes barbequed?! It was a long, slow walk back to the hotel. I was tempted by the ice cream shop but I was too full. By the time we got to the gas station next to the hotel I couldn’t resist the ice cream cravings. I had a Blue Bunny caramel and chocolate ice cream bar. It was so damn good. I finally got a bag of Colorado chips, I was too full to eat it though. I only had room in the dessert stomach, eating Starburst air gummies. And another Mr. Beast chocolate bar given the first one had melted.

It was only 7pm but I was so tired. Instead, I drank a lime margarita Buzzy Ball, sorry, BuzzBallz. Because there was no way I was going to bed at 7pm. Turns out BuzzBallz are not that good. They are strong, 15% and taste a little like rubbing alcohol. I was nostalgic for it because of our Texas trip, but really it was kind of bad? In the hotel we confirmed that what we had seen yesterday were in fact bighorn sheep, and what we saw today in Spearfish Canyon were Canadian goats. It was another night of watching Friends and reading during commercials. The green apple Gatorade was magic and just what I needed. I managed to rally and had the other BuzzBall, strawberry margarita. It was better than the lime, but still not that good. The only saving grace is how small it is. After 3 hours of Friends (with snippets of The Office during commercials) I had to stop, I could’ve kept watching but I needed sleep.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 5

Thurs. June 29, 2023 Estes Park, CO to Custer, SD

The pillow had been way too tall and I had to sleep with my shoulders on the pillow as well. It made for a poor night of sleep, that and being attuned to every bump even though it was easily explained. In the morning, Brent was going to wake me up with a towel over his head and scaring me. Instead, he bumped his knee on the corner of the bed. He had also during the course of our stay, bonked his head ever-so-lightly on the ceiling multiple times. I had been justified in my worry. I meanwhile had woken up twice and managed not to bump my head either time. I gasped myself awake when Brent knocked a beer cap off the side table. There was a café in the hotel called Colorado Cherry Co. The latte had cherry and vanilla syrups in it and was delicious. While the barista made my drink we chatted. Turns out she was from South Dakota and she recommended sites that Brent had already planned for, so we were in for a treat. I also ordered an M&Ms sugar cookie for later. On the way to car we saw some adorable little ground squirrels poking around the grass.

On the drive we listened to SYSK: How Butterflies Work. We passed by two signs saying “bighorn sheep crossing 10 miles” and instead we had 20 miles of no sightings, just disappointment. There were so many people fishing in the river. We were going down in elevation, in half an hour we had gone down 5,000ft. I was inexplicably feeling sleepy. I had barely finished my coffee.

WYOMING!

Wyoming is comparatively flat, flat, flat. Literally less than a minute after crossing we saw a bison grazing, albeit I think he was on a farm. We were having an early lunch (brunch?) at the Luxury Diner in Cheyenne. It was railroad themed, which was fitting given there was a train chugging by when we arrived. It was a small diner, full of locals. This was a good sign. Brent ordered the breakfast burrito with green chile. We later overheard the server recommending it to someone else. I ordered the biker burger, as recommended online. While we waited, we overheard a takeout customer asking a burger “dry” style. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! My plate arrived and I immediately understood. It was an open-faced burger, smothered in gravy. This was the messiest burger I’ve ever had in my life. It was also delicious. Every bite was so savoury, just meat, gravy, cheese and underneath all that: bun. This was also the only burger I’ve ever had to eat with a fork and knife. It was the perfect amount of food. The breakfast burrito, underneath the chile and gravy, somehow still had a crisp tortilla at the bottom no less! It was an engineering marvel, that also had to be eaten with a knife and fork. Except now I was super tired. And full. And yet, I felt like I could still eat dessert. I was tempted by the cinnamon bun but I didn’t see any in a dessert case (they were made by another business in town).

We drove by the state capitol. And soon enough I was asleep again, the gentle rocking of the car, the large breakfast and the soothing voice of a podcast. We drove past the town of Hawk Springs, with a whopping population of 47. This might be a new record for us. And again, I was out cold. My butt was going numb, we had been driving for 4 hours. Then the GPS randomly added 30 minutes. Then it took it away. Then it added it again. Turns out it was roadwork, the road was down to one-way and we had to wait to be let through.

Goodbye Wyoming, hello SOUTH DAKOTA!! State #40!

I was so dehydrated at this point. Then I made things worse by screaming from cuteness. We drove by a pronghorn mamma and her two “FUCKING CUT AND FUZZY” babies. [Quoted from source material.] I also had to confirm via google images that they were in fact pronghorns, also because they were between the highway and a fence blocking a farm. Brent had missed them, he just heard me yelling OMG SO CUTE. He didn’t want to believe me, it was a new animal for us and he’d missed it.

We drove to Wind Cave, all because it had been a clue on Jeopardy! recently and I was like HEY! We’re going to South Dakota, let’s go there! The guy in line in front of us got the second last ticket for the 2:40 tour, the second longest/hardest trek. There was a 3:20pm tour so it all worked out. There was no way I was going on the hardest trek, by candlelight and crawling at parts- no thank you. We walked around the visitors centre looking at the exhibits. And still had time to kill. I did not feel like putting on sunscreen, so rather than sit in the park and read I opted for in the car with the doors open. I was thoroughly engrossed in Karin Slaughter’s Last Breath, a mini prequel to a book I had read.

The cave was huge. Our tour was about an hour and a half and it flew by. Apparently Wind Cave is one of the few places in the world where you can see boxwood, I did not 100% care for it, constantly worrying that it would set off my triptophobia. It looks kind of like bone marrow. That is all you need to know. The cave is nice because for the regular tours they have cement walkways complete with railings and lighting. We still had to duck our heads at certain parts. There were creepy narrow crevices that just ended in darkness. Apparently, the cave is still being explored, and just the previous week they had uncovered another mile of tunnels, for a grand total of 165miles. It gave me claustrophobia just looking at some of the narrow crevices. This was also one of the least life-filled caves, with only a few bats and then some microbes at the very bottom (500ft down). There was even bench seating, where the guide turned off the lights to show us what it was like when the cave was first discovered, then he lit a candle to show us even moreso what it had been like. Hard pass. Our tour guide kept repeating himself, instead of a group of 40 he had 14 but I guess it’s hard to get out of the habit of repeating the same thing to small subgroups as they pass.

When we got out, it was raining. On the drive the phone warned of flash foods. We were racing to the hotel to get there in time for Jeopardy! The GPS was hovering around 6pm arrival time but we still had to check-in! Driving up to the Custer State Gaming Lodge, we were a few minutes away and suddenly were in a traffic jam. Animals in the road. It looked like they were licking the road? They looked like goats.

We were staying in the Calvin Coolidge suite. It was a mad dash to the TV but there was no guide or channel list! I was uselessly flipping channels when I realized I could just google it. Turns out it starts at 6:30pm out here. Phew. I had time to settle in… and search for the fridge. Turns out we had a small sitting room with a couch and fridge… yet the TV was in the bedroom? I was hungry but we didn’t have time for dinner before Jeopardy! I made myself comfy on the couch, ice cold drink and set about catching up in my notebook. By ice cold drink I mean lukewarm and mildly shaken. It was still so good, I was so dehydrated. I hadn’t had anything to drink since I had the tiniest sip of water at the diner. I didn’t trust that there would be bathrooms on the way, and there weren’t, so I was right. Turns out what we thought we had seen on the road may have been Canadian mountain goats that were not native to the area, they had escaped from a petting zoo in the park decades ago. The Ace perry craft cider paired nicely with Jeopardy! and this time the drink was a bit colder. It was pretty good, it had vanilla added to it. Maybe one of the best perrys I’ve ever had?

We had dinner at the lodge. Brent ordered elf (elk) ravioli. It never arrived. I ordered the butter-basted walleye which unfortunately was not that good. Bites without the tomato sauce were bland. Brent had the pheasant confit but it was underwhelming and some bites were dry. CONFIT! DRY! The best part was the side of parsnips and rice. Without the app we had room for dessert. The apple and peach dumpling was so good. Pastry and fruit served warm with good quality vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and caramel: can’t be beat. The limoncello and gin cocktail was really good but the bar had been set high this vacation. Back in the room I was disappointed. I had been hoping for more Seinfeld, alas I had to settle for The Office. At least they were old, but still, it was not the same. Finally, it was Nick@Night time and I didn’t have to suffer through any more Jim. I ended up watching the series finale of Friends and reading during commercials. It was a good way to end the day.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 4

Wed. June 28, 2023 Denver to Estes Park, CO

I slept so much better. There were no easy coffee options, thankfully I had the iced teas to tide me over. On the highway we passed a dog sticking his head out of the car window while listening to an SYSK Short Stuff on celsius vs. fahrenheit. This time I tied my hair in a high ponytail, no part= no sunburnt scalp. The stupid iced tea backfired on me. It made me have to pee. Alas, we were in the middle of nowhere, on our way to Rocky Mountain National Park. We passed nothing. Nothing at all. Finally we pulled into a small town that had a gas station. We stocked up on Gatorade and I also got Starry (like a worse Sprite) and a 3 Musketeers bar (you see those so rarely these days). It was a super healthy breakfast. A few blocks further we saw a Safeway. They didn’t have any wacky baking chips or Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. But we did remember to get sunscreen and a bonus birthday cake Kit Kat. (Breakfast had been light until that point, just the Three Musketeers and some Swedish Fish). 

We had barely entered Rocky Mountain National Park when we saw a young moose. In fact, we were less than a mile in. There was a road sign that said no stopping for the next mile. We stopped because the people across the way had stopped, that was what had alerted Brent in the first place. I knew we’d be seeing at least some wildlife, there were other road signs that said “do not approach wildlife.” We were treated to beautiful mountain views and an ever-changing landscape as we slowly climbed up in elevation. The trees gave way to rocks and lichens until we found ourselves on a tundra. At the lookout point at the start of the tundra we saw an elk way up high on a hilltop, the giant horns were a giveaway. We were very impressed and a little surprised, an elk?! So rare! Closer to us, we saw a marmot sunning itself on the rocks. The visitors centre (highest one in National Parks system at 11, 7?? ft) was on the other side of the hill. Thankfully they had toilets. We had some more nice mountain views complete with snow. From the visitors centre we still had to climb 500 arduous steps to get to the top viewing point at 12,??? ft. And what a sight to see! We saw the same elk, albeit with friends and from much closer now. It was stunning to see them and with the beautiful mountains in the background, it really was breathtaking. We watched for a while as they made their way across the ;landscape, munching. They came upon another elk who was lounging on the grass. The leader of the group came over. I was sure it was going to be a fight, I had my camera at the ready. Instead he walked over, nudged him a little and the other one reluctantly got up and walked away. I also really enjoyed watching them scratch themselves. Seeing them walking across the landscape: they look ridiculous, those giant horns atop their heads make them look very forward-heavy. How is that comfortable?!

At the next viewpoint there was a short trail. Because we were at the top of the tundra, the wind was just relentless. It was so much colder as well. One part of the view was ruined by a family of dummies who disregarded the path and went off climbing and posing for stupid photos. As we drove through the park we would periodically see herds of elk grazing. Maybe they are more common than I thought? The next viewpoint had an alpine lake off in the distance. And a marmot who was not afraid of people OR the grass in that spot was particularly good? As we were leaving, Brent pointed out that the marmot had stood up, and the people still there were calling me back for more pictures. 

 The initial plan had been to do the Rocky Mountain Drive, go to the hotel and grab something to eat before heading back to Bear Lake. But the drive had taken more time and  we got to the entrance to Bear Lake just before 3pm (our ticket was for entry between 2-4pm). The car in front of us tried to enter sans-ticket and was turned away. There was a sign by the shuttle bus parking that said parking further in was all full. But there were cars passing us on the way out so we chanced it. There was plenty of parking. 

We did the Bear Lake nature trail. It was beautiful but it was no Lake Louise. We still had time and energy so we hiked 1 mile to Alberta Falls. Talk about a letdown. The falls were nice but it was hard to get a good view as there people strewn about everywhere. It was a lot of downhill and I was not looking forward to the trek back. I seriously debated leaving the trail via another branching trail on the way back. We had passed the parking for the trailhead to it and Brent could just swing by and pick me up. But it would take about the same amount of time hiking so it made no sense. Still, a gal can dream. I also realized I need a sunhat, I am getting old. I was chugging Gatorade on the way back. Another sign of old age? As we were leaving there was a huge line of people waiting to get into Bear Lake. I am guessing it was in advance of the sunset, still a few hours away. It was just before 5pm. There was also a huge line of cars coming into the park now that admission was open and not timed. Even getting out of the park there was traffic at the nearest intersection. It was slow going through the town of Estes Park. So much for going out for dinner. We drove by the restaurant Jim & Bird, which had been a potential dinner candidate. But the drive was so slow, it was not worth it, even if they did happen to have Haykins Family cider (which the cider website claimed). Plus, we were in a rush. Jeopardy! would be on soon.

We were staying at the (famous?) Stanley Hotel where Stephen King had stayed. It had inspired his book The Shining. And boy did they like to remind you about it. The lady at the reception asked us if we believed in ghosts, I feel for her: she has to tailor her stories and stance to the guests. I was annoyed very quickly. It seriously felt like we might be the only guests staying there. Everyone else was taking pictures and whispering or else they were on a tour. I just wanted a quiet place to read my book and drink and eventually sleep. It was a nice historic old hotel, was that not enough?? When we entered our room, SPOOKY! Convenient! Seinfeld was on! Our bedroom was on the top floor and at the edge of the building so we had the lovely architectural feature of slanted ceilings. At first I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to sleep on my usual side of the bed (I can only sleep on the left side, perfectly normal). Eventually I caved and decided to risk it. Our chocolate bar had melted and my drinks were in need of cooling. Off we went in search of an ice machine. SOMEONE MOVED IT FROM THE FOURTH FLOOR TO THE THIRD. We saw the same ladies on the fourth floor, down on the third floor. They kept taking pictures and looking at them with anticipation, followed by disappointment. Back in our room we could hear people in the hallway. I joked about popping out and scaring them. We did a lap of the hotel but there really wasn’t that much to see. We checked the restaurant and decided it was perfectly fine for dinner. It was also part of the experience. The original plan had been to just have drinks. I managed to catch up on my writing just in time for Jeopardy! The Lindemans peach was the perfect accompaniment. My face was either sunburnt or windburned. Either way it felt terrible. My skin was tight and hot and my face was red. I blamed the spray sunscreen.

Dinner was so odd it was absurd and comedic. It took 25 minutes for our drinks to be made, and then the confused server tried to deliver them to the wrong table. Brent recognized those must be our drinks and called out. Mine was called the Mrs. Wilson and it would’ve been funny if they called that out. The charcuterie board came with no explanation, was just plunked down in front of us. It had all of two tiny pieces of crunchy toast. But given those short-fallings, it had one of the best blue cheeses I’ve ever had. It was better than the cheddar even! I am not sure why a pickled beet puree was included. Brent swears it was good, I have trouble believing that. The mains were enormous. Brent had ordered the bison steak, which to be fair, was listed on the menu as a whopping 16oz. The bison, elk, boar meatloaf I ordered however, that had no excuse. It was easily two, maybe three, portions? At least they were both delicious. It’s too bad that the service had been so slow, if it hadn’t we would have ordered a second drink and desserts. Instead, I spotted that there was a McDonald’s just down the street. The other odd part at dinner was the people at the table next to ours. I had spotted them in the parking lot (where we had to park so far away from the hotel because all the closer spots were taken by tourists) and I whispered to Brent that they were so only here for dinner. I was right. We made fun of them relentlessly all evening. He tried to order the salad with the cheese on the side. He asked for a regular martini. They also sounded like newly weds, except he was oddly espousing on the joys of early marriage. It was cringey and weird. He was also a trust-fund baby and that seemed to be the only reason or the main reason she was with him. The dynamic was uncomfortable.

Brent found a liquor store in the same plaza as the McDonald’s. I got a Snow Cap peach-flavoured Colorado cider. I was so tired that I did not feel like walking the 2-minutes to the McDonald’s after all of that. We had the once-melted, now-reconstituted chocolate bar back in the hotel room. I devoured it, can’t go wrong with salted caramel. Drinking cider in bed while watching a Seinfeld marathon was the perfect way to wind down. I had switched back to the left side of the bed. Laying down, I could just barely clear the ceiling when I sat up. It would be ok.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 3

Tues. June 27, 2023 Vail to Denver, CO

I woke up around 7am but I had already been slowly waking up before then, the stupid sun was so bright. I had slept fitfully all night. At least I had chocolate for breakfast. We walked over to Two Arrows coffee for sustenance. After ordering, I saw on the menu that they had a seasonal latte on offer: orange-sage. Hard pass. There was a very Vail guy in the shop, long hair, wearing a vest.

On the drive to Denver, we were treated to beautiful mountain views. We passed by a young deer who still had fuzz on his antlers. We listened to Stuff You Should Know, all about caterpillars. We stopped at a gas station/ rest stop. The station had a Hale coffee shop. I got a white mocha, it was great because not only did I get more caffeine, it was also topped with sugar. It was what I needed to stay awake. It was not even noon, heck it wasn’t even 10am and already I was lagging.

We stopped at a scenic overlook but it was scary to pull into because it was on a downward slope. Who designs it like that?! At the viewpoint there was a train running alongside the mountain across the river. It had steam billowing and they were blowing the horn. It was actually making the chug-a-chug noise, straight out of a story. We had nice views and a chance to look up how close the bighorn sheep viewing area actually was to the highway. Not far at all! We had our next stop!  We were unsure if we would see any bighorn sheep, it was already late in the day for them at 10:30am. We scoured the landscape with the telescopes and binoculars at the viewpoint. We kept getting false alarms that turned out to be rocks. Also: its hard to look through eyepieces when wearing eyeglasses. No luck. We did have nice landscape views, including a lake.

Our first stop in Denver was Trader Joe’s so I could restock on spices and get some new ones (hello everything but the elote!). I got a tad lost. I started by looking for cider, I was on the hunt for Haykins Family Cider. Couldn’t find it and the selection was lacking. I did a loop of the store and could not for the life of me find the spice aisle. Turns out it was the one spot I had skipped, the other side of the alcohol aisle. Oops. They didn’t have an herbes de Provence but I did buy a nice tote bag so it all worked out in the end. On the way to the state capitol building, we passed by the very first Quiznos. We still had two hours before our lunch reservation. On the SYSK facebook page I saw that someone had recently posted about visiting the Denver Botanical Gardens. This was our activity for the afternoon. When got to the parking lot the automatic sign said full but right as we drove in someone was pulling out, it was our lucky day! The only bad thing was the timing. We were visiting the botanical (read: outdoors) garden at high noon. I was not getting burnt. Even if it meant a horrid mix of sunscreen and sweat. There were so many bees hard at work on the flowers at the garden. We saw a pineapple growing. And of course, the reason we went: bonsai trees! It was nicely done because they used local tree species and listed the year it was started.

A few blocks to our hotel and the neighbourhoods started looking sketchy. I was starting to worry that the Toronto Star had led us astray. The Bramble Hotel stood out albeit it was in burgeoning company with a nearby yoga study. It was this awkward feeling of seeing the gentrification creeping in? We immediately headed back out. There was a liquor store on Haykins Family cider website that was listed as a retailer. Alas, it was a bust. We were told that the other location had it, but there was no way I was going to walk 40 minutes one way in the heat for something that might not even be there. Also: Denver sucks. There is nothing nice about it. Union Station was ok, we wandered around the concourse twice determining that this was the only thing to do in Denver. Some plush seats, a bar, a café and a restaurant. All for people waiting for trains. It took all of 5 minutes. Denver was looking like a less-than-one-day city. We had lunch at a tapas spot called Ulteria. I ordered a unicorn gin & tonic and was not disappointed. It was pretty and purple and blue (pomegranate juice and peaflower-infused gin). The only meh dish was the Moorish spiced ribs, they were not very flavourful. But everything else: crispy trout sandwich, shishito peppers with adobo spice and olive oil and a trio of 2-, 3- and 4-year aged ham was excellent. Oddly, the 3-year ham was the loser of the three. It was a good lunch overall and just barely squeezed into first place (so close to Woody Creek Tavern). It was almost a tie really. After lunch I couldn’t resist getting ice cream from the shop across the way.

Across the station was a little ice cream shop and it was the perfect dessert as it was blazing hot outside. Milk Box Ice Cream did small batch ice cream. I ordered a scoop of the salted Oreo and it did not disappoint. The lady in front of me was so bizarre. She ordered a boozy milkshake but had no idea what to pair with bourbon. She had gone into an ice cream shop knowing which booze she wanted, not which ice cream flavour. Also: there were two chocolate options! DUH! There was alo coffee and butter pecan! The combos just made themselves. I want to say also that it was early in the day, but who am I to talk after my lunchtime G&T.

It was a long & slow walk back to the hotel. All I could think about was scrubbing off the sunscreen. On the way in, we checked at the hotel bar to see if they had the cider, no luck. I also looked up three surrounding restaurants that were listed on the website, but none of them had it on the menu. I gave up. Making things worse: I had forgotten my drinks in the trunk of the car and we had to valet it! All I had was low-sugar iced tea that had been free at an earlier hotel. It would have to suffice. I caught up on my reading while we waited for the online reservations for hiking to become available. And of course, Jeopardy! The online reservation thing said we could only have one reservation a day. It said nothing about a spouse making a reservation. It all worked out in the end, we got a timed entry for Bear Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park. I finished my book, it was OK, more historical than crime really. Plus, it had two errors. I also depleted my iPad and was in need of more charge if I was to keep reading.

We got ready during commercials, we were going to be arriving at the baseball game just as it started. But it was worth it, can’t miss Jeopardy! As soon as we entered the stadium, I spotted Biker Jim’s. Perfect! This was on my list for wacky hotdogs that often sell out. Online people had said they waited a long time. The line was short and nothing was sold out. I ordered a jalapeno elk cheddar sausage. “old school” style which meant no extra toppings (why why WHY, why would you put cream cheese on a hotdog?!). Except everyone behind me was ordering it “classic” style which makes more sense. Toppings = extra, therefore not classic. When I got to the register I accidentally said elk sausage classic and I was corrected and saved from paying extra. It was delicious. We devoured it before we got to the next stop: Rocky Mountain oysters (aka bull testicles). They were not what I was expecting. I had been expecting a giant lump. Instead these were flattened so the ratio of meat to breading was less. They were like chewy , rubbery mini schnitzels. Not bad at all. They didn’t have the metallic taste I was expecting either. They did come with a side of fries which was wholly unnecessary. We were still going to get green chile cheese fries! (We dumped them on top and combined them, the green chile was so faint, not a really good dish. Why did it have cheese tots???). We also got the “walking taco” which was a bag of Doritos, opened on the side and filled with carnitas and jalapenos and queso. Inexplicably and impressively, the Doritos managed to stay crisp. This dish was second place behind the elk sausage. 

We wandered the whole concourse twice and there was no sign of the frozen purple margarita vendor. I was so close to getting everything on my list! We asked a staff member who told us it was on another floor. Up we went. From that concourse (which was just bars and balconies) we had a view of the whole field, including the trees behind the outfield. Those poor pine trees, just like the rays in Tampa, had no protection from homeruns. I dusted off my proposal for mini-helmets-for-those-in-the-line-of-home-runs. No one bit. Whatever, I had my purple margarita after an awkward order. At the bar I saw the machine but it was not listed anywhere, so I just pointed and asked is that margarita? Bartender did not hear me. I had to yell it again, embarrassing. Oh man was the margarita strong. And refreshing. Colorado was such a bad team, there were way more Dodgers fans than Rockies fans. During our concourse-walk we saw Dinger the Dinosaur (top tier mascot). That was when we realized we had been wandering into the third inning. During the middle of the 6th we got up again, this time in search of dessert. It had been so long since the last drink and I was so dehydrated, I opted for a lemonade instead. It was still so hot out. It was only $1 more for the large, and it was almost double the size. Yes, it was ridiculous, but oh man did I need it and I chugged it. We went back to the third-floor concourse but there was no sign of the peach chimichangas. When I re-read the description online, it said it’s available in late summer, i.e.: when peaches are in season. We were too early for what sounded like a damn fine dessert. This late in the game, the third floor concourse was packed with young people drinking. It made me feel old and tired. At least we had a nice view of the sunset? The “mountain view” of the stadium was a little oversold, you had to be on the third floor and kind of squint.

The hometeam hit no homeruns, actually they hit no runs period. It was bad, late in the game it looked like the pitcher was going to have a “no hitter” game. But then that was broken. Alas, not with a homerun. It’s doubly unfair, because at high altitude it’s easier to hit homeruns!

Back at the hotel, the bar was super busy. In our room we decided to go back downstairs. Death & Co. was a NYC bar that was now part of why the Ramble Hotel was known. It had been written up again in 2023, and it was so funny to read the Toronto Star writer gushing about how great Colorado is. It is not. Denver is not “underrated.” It just plain sucks. You could tell it was a sponsored trip. Death & Co. was known for craft cocktails. I like how the menu was set up: five pages, getting progressively boozier. Both drinks listed in the article were not available, it was two seasons later after all. My drink had pineapple juice, raspberry, tropical bitters and some kind of alcohol that I forgot. I actually really liked the bitter notes in my drink. It was even garnished with a pineapple leaf. I was so tired after the long day, I was asleep by 10pm.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 2

Mon. June 26, 2023 Aspen to Vail, CO

The first part of the night I was tossing and turning with a headache. It had me worried that this was what the whole vacation would be like. Me with daily headaches from altitude sickness. That just made me feel even worse. It didn’t last long. Soon enough I was in a deep sleep and I slept for close to 12 hours. Not bad at all. I woke up at 8:30am, feeling congested. It was cold outside and nothing was open yet. We drove back to town, saw a deer on the way, and parked in the same garage. Albeit, this time the garage was way more full. Was it commuters? It was a Monday and it was way more busy than on a Sunday evening. 

We still had 45 minutes before the gondola even opened. We stopped in at Paradise Bakery. When I checked the menu online it said that they had a “signature latte” with raspberry and Ghiradelli chocolate syrups. After ordering that, I saw on the receipt it was listed as just a regular latte. In my defence I had my sunglasses on and couldn’t really see inside the tiny shop. There was also no one in front of me so I didn’t have time to look around at all the menus. The mini muffins weren’t labelled so I had to match them in look to the larger ones which were labelled. It was a very awkward order. In the end I got a delicious mandarin orange muffin and had some also ended up ordering a regular size blueberry muffin? How? I have no idea. But it was tasty, so no complaints here. Brent had also ordered a chocolate croissant which was delicious. My latte was more of a cappuccino though. 

We walked to City Market (reminiscing along the way about that lady in the Hamptons who actually likes City Market) to get Gatorade and sunscreen. I had looked up their stock online and saw that they had Nutter Butter cakesters and Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. That was a lie. No wacky Oreos or baking chips either. We got Gatorade and Swedish Fish. Halfway through the parking lot we realized we forgot the most essential item: the sunscreen. We still had time before the gondola opened, off to the gas station! All they had were mini tubes of sunscreen but that would have to do. We stopped in at The Nell Hotel again (for the fourth time in two days) to use the bathrooms.

At first the gondola ride was awkward and scary. I was sitting backwards, watching Aspen recede. I felt much better facing the other way. It was a long ride, maybe 10 minutes? At one point it was super windy and we were rocking back and forth. I did not enjoy it one bit. We saw a deer down below by the trees. There was a giant bird’s nest in the ladder to one of the gondola towers. The top of the mountain in Aspen was 11,212 feet. Our highest trek so far. Looking down the “other side” of the mountain (i.e.: away from Aspen) we had beautiful views. The first thing I saw, and which was very hard to point out, was a bald eagle. I swear it. I saw the white! Brent did not believe me. I stand by what I saw. Confusing matters more, there were two vultures circling around. It was not them I saw. Then some crows passed by.

We stopped in at the lodge to get some views from the patio- and to use the bathrooms. They had yoga and frolf on the mountain. There were two really cute dogs running around, panting from the high altitude. There weren’t many options for trails, just the frolf course. We walked a little bit and came to a communications tower that was used by the FAA. The gondola ride down felt much faster. This time I was facing the town as we descended. The views were amazing. 

We had lunch at Woody Creek Tavern because that was one of Hunter S. Thompson’s favourite haunts. Albeit, I don’t think he would like it now. It was bought out by a hospitality group and serving Mexican-inspired food. It was a really good lunch. Cajun-spiced Rocky Mountain trout, a chicken enchilada and Mexican street corn. When we sat down the server asked us if we wanted drinks, specifically if we wanted margaritas. Heck yes! Then he followed up with regular or spicy. Spicy was the right call. It had actually slivers of habanero and jalapeno in it, complete with seeds. As I drank it, the spice got more concentrated. It was borderline too spicy, if I had let it sit too long it would have been too much. The patio was full so we were seated in the bar area. There was no one else in there, it was quite nice. There was a wasp in there and Brent caught it with a cup and let it out. The bathrooms were next door in the main dining area. It was completely adorned with Hunter S. Thompson art and posters. I had a hard time finding the bathroom door as it was decorated the same as the walls. Covered in stickers and Polaroid photos. 

On the drive we listened to the Fire Escape podcast, and it was all Diablo IV talk. We were on our way to Vail, another ski town with another gondola. We got to go back on the double-decker highway passing through a narrow canyon along the Colorado River. This time we drove on the bottom portion. The serene landscapes, the gentle rocking, the peaceful driving… I was falling asleep again. We stopped at a scenic overlook and it was picture perfect. Snow-capped mountains. Quaint houses. A small lake. Train tracks. There were also some magpies. Alas they were hanging around the garbage can, much less picturesque.

Vail was much more touristy and way more families. We were staying at a ritzy place. Again, we had a pocket door in the bathroom. Is this a Colorado thing?? It’s like they love Lululemon and pocket doors in this state. Vail was much like Aspen, chain stores disguised as quaint shops, albeit lower-end. Instead of Prada, there was a candy store. How much do these people love Lululemon? [NOTE TO SELF, DON’T LEAVE COMPUTER UNATTENDED: As much as I love my husband almost!] There was a popup across from the still-open regular shop. That’s how much. It made me wish I had previously bought stock in Lululemon and I was seriously thinking of adding some after this. It’s all anyone there wears!

Our hotel was just on the edge of the village, which was a good thing given we had to valet the car. We dropped our stuff and went into “town.” Same as Aspen, we quickly ran out of stuff to see. We walked the entirety of it pretty quickly. It was a 5 minute walk to the gondola and even though we had it planned for the next morning, it was spend the remaining 1.5 hours it was open up there or spend more time in town. It was a no-brainer, an hour and half was plenty of time. Plus, then we’d have more time to explore Denver the next day. The gondola ride was less vertical and more expensive. We could have waited 20 minutes until 3pm to get access the next day but it wasn’t worth it.

There wasn’t really much of a view at the top, it was good but not as good as Aspen. We overheard some guys talking to an employee who told them to go under the “closed trail” rope. We checked for other trails but there really was nothing so we followed suit. As we went under a guy from a different group remarked about the trail being closed for a reason. Hiking at altitude was much harder. I had to stop a lot. I kind of wish I had not worn my flowy maxi skirt. I at least had the good sense to wear my waterproof running shoes, but I still looked like a fool. Gatorade was my saviour on this trek. Both because it refreshed me and because to drink it I had to pause. We saw an adorable marmoset. The trail forked but it was easy to choose a path, one way was blocked by snow and ice. Eventually the trail spit us out at the edge of a ski hill.

We still had time before we had to get back for the last gondola ride. Why not keep climbing up. It wasn’t that steep, eventually we saw a sign saying it was a family learning slope. We kept going as close to the top as possible. With lots of breaks. It was absolutely worth it, the views were incredible. We got a view down the other side of the mountain as well, away from the ski runs. The elevation wasn’t as high as at Aspen, but we were doing more hiking. I was at about 12,000 steps already. Coming back down, the slope felt much steeper. We saw the guys who had gone ahead of us under the rope, they were just coming up to the ski slope, on what appeared to be a trail. I am not sure where we diverged and how we ended up taking a shortcut, but we went back the same way we came. We did wonder if those guys would make it back in time for the last gondola? When we got back to the gondola the employee asked us if there had been more trail closed signs under the rope. Brent pointed out that he had overheard an employee tell the others they could go there. It was awkward.

We walked along the main road again, there were so many kids running around underfoot. I popped into Lululemon and bought the same tank top I was wearing but in a different colour. There was a wine shop in town and Brent didn’t think it would have beer. I pointed out that below “wine” on the sign it said “beer.” Reluctantly he followed me in. Good thing we went. They had Heady Topper, rated the world’s best beer. There was even a sign that said limit one per customer. I lucked out and got two Lindeman’s: an apple and a peach. I also got a California perry and a Colorado ginger cider. Not a bad haul for a fancy wine shop. They also had new Cutwaters that I hadn’t tried before but these were newer to me. Our last stop was Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company. You gotta. Even though we have them back home. We got a few individual chocolates and I also got an ice cream cone. Alas, when Brent took a bite of the chocolate-dipped Butterfinger crusted cone it disintegrated. I had to eat the ice cream fast to get below the cracks.

Back in the hotel I had a sip of Heady Topper. It was one of the worst things I had ever tasted. I even said so in the video review. Sitting on the deck, feet up, ice cream and a cold Lindemans apple, I was ready to relax. We had Jeopardy! on at 6pm and dinner at 6;30pm. My poor face was so sunburnt. I hadn’t put on sunscreen because by the time we got to the top it was nearly 3pm and there was shade beneath the trees. I regretted it now. Initially I preferred Vail to Aspen (by the next morning I had flipped). The St. Vrain ginger cider was ok, but nowhere near as good as the Lindemans.

We had dinner at Bully Ranch and it felt like a rebranded Boston Pizza. The brick-fired oven flatbread was overtopped and soggy and had none of the flavour expected or the crispness. The tater tots were way too crispy and oily. The only saving graces of our dinner were the G&T and the skillet chocolate chip cookie with ice cream. After all that I was so tired, all I could think about was shower and sleep. I didn’t even think I’d be able to read before bed.

 

ColoradoSD- Day 1

Sun. June 25, 2023 Toronto, ON to Denver to Aspen, CO

We got to Pearson the recommended time ahead for our flight. Only to be met with a new and confusing system. We had to wait in a “lounge” aka just open space that used to be ticket counters before we could be called up to line up for security check-in. We had to wait to wait. This was not what I wanted after a 5am wakeup. Even still, the line for security was so long. They were advertising a new app to help clear American customs faster, the lady announcing it was implying that the line there would also be long and slow. In a panic I tried to get it going. Except it would not accept my submission. According to Google the app is super buggy. Great. The airport was hot and stuffy and I was so tired. The line for customs was so short, after all of that.

Before we got on the flight I grabbed a mango dragonfruit refresher from Starbucks with the hopes it would keep me awake. It did not. I was trying to read Clara at the Door With A Revolver. Instead I fell asleep maybe three times? In my defense I had only gotten 4.5 hrs of sleep the night before. The third time I fell asleep, I scared myself awake with a gasp. The people sitting beside me were annoying the heck out of me. Their friend/family was sitting behind me and he kept talking over my head to them. Even still I managed to get 40% of the way through my book.

There was a huge line at the car rental place… and we walked right past it, we had prebooked. We walked in one door and straight out the other. It was about a 40 minute drive to In N Out Burger. I was super excited for it. It had been years since we’d last had those delicious burgers. It was still relatively new in Colorado. And we had gone at 11:30am. On a Sunday. Yes the line was long. But it was efficiently run. There were two lines that combined into one closer to the drive-thru and they took our order ahead of time. There was no way we would be sitting and eating at the restaurant. The parking lot was full. The car in beside-then-in-front of us had the cutest little husky puppy poking his head out. He had big floppy ears and was so happy. He was sniffing the air and actually drooling. We were inching along until we weren’t. We sat there for 10minutes before moving again. Turns out a car had broken down in the drive-thru lane. When we were handed out order the guy said “two double-doubles and animal fries” therefore I assumed they had gotten our order wrong and one of the burgers was not in fact animal style. They looked the same as well. Brent was driving, but I was free to dig in. I devoured that burger. Then I unwrapped the other one and handed it over. One bite and it was determined it was in fact animal style. I stole it back for a bite. So. Damn. Good. Also: oops. 

There was a road sign warning of elk and another about bighorn sheep. I kept vigilant watch but saw nothing. Partly because I kept falling asleep. Driving to Aspen, we had a nice view of Vail. My ears popped. My mouth was dry from hanging open because I kept falling asleep. We passed a town and rest stop called No Name. By the time we got to Aspen I was feeling headachey and groggy. Was it the altitude? The poor sleep? My neck? HORMONES?! Vitamin Water saved me with its sweet, sugary goodness. My notebook calls it “revitalizing.” We were staying at the Aspen Inn and they had ski runs in the backyard. I was sitting on the patio (square of concrete), reading in the shade when WHOOSH, a loud, scary noise filled the air. Before I could figure out what was going on (read: grab my phone), a jet flew low overhead. On our way we had passed a small private airport, apparently we were basically next door to it. Now I was on high alert. I wanted a cool picture. Alas, the only other (1? 2?) planes that landed came from the other side. Every time I heard a sound I would look around wildly, camera at the ready. 

We drove into “town” and parked in a garage. Our first stop was… the library, right next door. I had to see what was up. They had a great display of books related to current events that I made a note of to steal the idea. We walked past the gondola we would be riding tomorrow morning. There was much less to see in town than we had expected. It was nice because it was nestled among the mountains, but it was tiny. And most of the shops were super high-end. We walked into Little Nell Hotel that was ridiculously expensive to stay in but that we would be having dinner and drinks at. The plan had been to wander around and gawk at the hotel. But there wasn’t much to see. There was just a pool and hallways and a service elevator. It was so not worth the exorbitant price. On our way out we saw that the wine bar was closed for a private event. We did another lap of the town and went back searching for the hotel bar. Turns out it was the closed wine bar, we had wandered into the restaurant bar, but those drinks would be available with dinner. Instead we went to Aspen Brewing for our predinner drinks. They only had one cider on tap and I really did not feel like having 16oz. Instead we split a flight of 6 glasses of 4oz each.The passionfruit sour was ok, but the real standout was the peach cider. I checked the fridge to see if they had any to go but alas it was only beer in there. There was a cute dog in the brewpub and so well behaved. There was also a dog earlier sitting under a patio table.

We had dinner reservations at Element 47. The hostess tried to seat us right next to a table that was too big for the small table. They had taken a chair from our table. And rather than seat us literally anywhere else, the hostess started struggling to get another chair over to the table. It was super awkward but eventually Brent got us moved to another table. The dinner was okay but nowhere near what had been expected. The hamachi crudo with trout roe was the best dish. The wagyu was ok. The lamb was good, considering it was lamb. The elk was gamey, which was no surprise really. The “Parker House rolls” were impostors. They were flakey and reminded me cornbread. NOPE. The pavlova was delicious, but they should not be calling it a pavlova. It was berry cream with little meringues on top. Much easier to make than a pavlova. The real standout at dinner was the wine. I liked that you could order a smaller size, I got to try both a red (from Burgundy) and a rose. For Brent I chose a gruner-veltliner, out of nostalgia. I was sad to see it was a screw top.

Walking back to the car we passed an Aspen cop. He was easily over 70 years old, was this an easy job? Was his biggest problem trash-eating bears? A group of girls walked by and one was saying, “he’s too nice.” And her friend responded, “what did you want? An asshole?” and Brent laughed. They noticed him laughing and said “he laughed” and he shouted back IT WAS FUNNY. Back at the hotel I was SO tired. Yet, it was only 7:30pm. The plan was to shower and go to bed, even if it wasn’t even 9pm and it was still light out.