Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 2

Thurs. Sept 7, 2023 Portland to Gleneden, OR

It turns out that Tiny Coffee was just one of many businesses in that plaza. The sign was very confusing, they could have made it clearer that those were all separate places. Not a coffee-spirits-yoga place. I had no idea what to expect going in because we didn’t figure it out until we were inside and waiting for our drinks. We had more time to look at the mural and we deduced it. It was a very hipster/Portland coffee shop. There was art on the walls for sale. It was actually quite reasonably priced and I was tempted to buy some. One looked like a goth version of Pete The Cat. The vanilla pistachio latte was so good, it actually tasted like pistachios. I traded halfway with Brent for his lavender white mocha, also really good. We split a buttered & toasted sea salt bagel. It was delicious, I had seen a sign for that bagel company the previous day and it confused me to no end. Why did the sign say “boiled”? Of course, the bagel is boiled. All bagels are boiled. That is what makes them bagels.

We were back on the road again. And somehow, we were now in WASHINGTON state?! Turns out we were cutting across the very bottom corner of it. Off in the distance I saw a giant snow-capped mountain, it had to Mt. St. Helens. It was disappearing into the clouds and towering over the whole landscape. It was confirmed when I saw a sign for the visitor’s centre. Alas there was no way of knowing how far off the road it would be so we didn’t go. We drove by a logging yard and then we were back in OREGON.

Astoria was a cute little town we drove through. We drove over a giant bridge over a super wide portion of the Columbia River, where it meets the ocean. We had to drive two blocks just to get to the on-ramp to the bridge. And just like that we were back in WASHINGTON. This had to be a record for us.

We were driving to the Lewis & Clark Interpretive Centre and Cape Disappointment. The name slayed me. We pulled into the parking lot and there was no sign of the Centre. There were toilets though, so no complaints here. We started up the road while I searched the map for directions to the lighthouse. We saw a sign for the lighthouse and the centre but poorly located on the road. How was anyone supposed to find that?! It should have been earlier. The museum was awesome. We learned a lot about the expedition. I had no idea that they had a whole crew with them. Those guys never get mentioned. At one point they had to eat their candles. Their diaries were full of complaints. They ate one of their horses. The whole 18 months sounded downright miserable and truly horrible. Moreso than I had ever imagined.

It was an uphill walk to the lighthouse and my poor legs were not having it. Between all the walking the previous day, and now sitting in the car for a few hours. We had nice views of the water and of the Oregon coast off in the distance. We saw no wildlife except for a small bird in a tree. I was tired and dehydrated.

Back in the car we had a better episode of SYSK Short Stuff: How Reservations Work. They even had a new bumper song. But I was struggling to stay awake. Back to OREGON! Fort Clatsop was where Lewis & Clark had overwintered. There re-creation of the lodge based on planning drawings. They had bunk beds and a fireplace in their log cabins. It was a lot of the same info as at the previous museum. It was more focused on their journey overall versus the time they spent camped out here. We saw a GIANT sitka spruce tree.

Driving along the coast we would periodically enter a tsunami danger zone, then go around a bend and be “safe” then back in the danger zone. We stopped at a Starbucks and I was revived with a pumpkin spice cold foam cold brew. Why did I not order these all the time?! It was delicious and actual coffee. And if that didn’t wake me up, nothing would. Just for good measure I got a cookies & crème cake pop as well. We drove to the start of a hiking trail. The original plan had been that Brent hikes the trail and I drive to the other end of it. Never mind that I haven’t driven in close to 10 years, since I drove for the exam getting my license. On Google Maps it had seemed ok. But we were short on time, so instead Brent hiked a little and came back. The trail was too difficult for me so I opted for staying in the car and reading. I had finally gotten the Lisa Jewell book the night before and I was already pulled in. I had my coffee too, it was all very nice. As we drove to the end of the trail it quickly became apparent that if I had to drive it would have been a nightmare. The road had twists, there were on-ramps, and it was fast at one point. It would have been a white-knuckle ride for me. Thank god we took 1.5 hrs in the Interpretive Centre, way longer than had been expected.

Brent hiked the trail while I kept reading. I did get out of the car and look at Indian Beach and the coast and the cliffs… then ran back to my book. After that we continued on to Cannon Beach. Mo’s Seafood was there, we were going to have a late lunch (4pm, almost dinner really). First we walked up the beach and had a look at the giant rocky outcroppings, no sign of the cougar that had been there a few weeks before. It was beautiful and scenic and so many cute dogs. The ocean was so cold, I dipped a few toes and that was all. After that I just walked in the sand, it felt quite nice. Haystack Rock was the main attraction. There were no puffins, just traces of them (read: poop). You could see why they liked it, so protected. We saw a washed up jellyfish on the beach.

I left my camera in the car before heading to lunch. There was a weird lady in the parking lot. She took a picture of her foot and her nails, then redid it with her belt bag in the picture. I was very confused. Then I saw her in line in front of us at Mo’s, waiting to be seated. The service was so fast, but the food was so good and fresh. Were in and out in 25 minutes. While we waited for our food, Brent changed our dinner reservation from 6pm to 7:30pm. The Northwest Winds Riesling I had was actually pretty good, which is surprising because I don’t normally think of Oregon wine as a thing. To start we had Oregon Bay oyster shooters. They came in little shot glasses with a dash of tabasco sauce. It was delicious. Brent had the clam strips (so good!) and an Oregon Bay shrimp salad that was really just shrimp piled atop cabbage. I had the “slumgullion” which was clam chowder topped with Oregon Bay shrimp. The bread bowl would have been too much and I’m glad I didn’t go that route. It was the perfect lunch dish. Hearty, warm and filling. It was also the perfect thing to put me to sleep alongside the wine: carb-heaving, warm comfort food and alcohol is a recipe for doziness.

We had a 2-hr drive ahead of us to the Salashin Coast Lodge. There was a road sign for a “wildlife viewing area” but those were always disappointments so we didn’t stop and it looked like just a parking lot. Plus, we could see it from the road. A little further on, in the bay there was an island with elk grazing and beautiful hills in the background. THAT should have been the wildlife viewing area. We were driving on the 101 aka the PCH but it wasn’t called that up here. Is PCH just a California thing?

We drove by Tillamook Creamery and the line for the restaurant was out the door and around the building. We also passed by a place called Pig N Stack, the logo was a pig holding a stack of pancakes, except the restaurant served steak and seafood?! (This wasn’t an error, we saw a few more during our trip).

We were having dinner at The Attic, a restaurant in our hotel. We dropped our stuff and headed out. Nothing, and I mean nothing, on the menu sounded good. There was no theme, just a mish-mash of all sorts of unrelated dishes. This was a rarity. The local salmon was the only appetizing sounding dish, if you ignored the accompanying asparagus. I debated getting the Thai chicken bowl but at the last minute switched to the jalapeno mac & cheese because it came with Tillamook cheddar. It was a horrible dish. The Tillamook cheddar was just a sprinkling on top. The noodles were drowning in way too much cheese sauce, and there were no garlic croutons to save me. I started eating the noodles near the top, and trying to scrape off/drain as much as the cheese sauce as I could. I ate about half and gave up. When she asked if I wanted it boxed, I firmly said no. the kitchen should see how little I ate and get a sense of how bad it was. Thankfully the lemon honey lavender cocktail was good, and a nice palate cleanser. I had a sip of Brent’s red wine from the Willamette Valley. It was ok. His second was a white cab sauv from Rouge Valley and it was horrible. It tasted like Lake Ontario.

In the gift/snack shop of our hotel, Brent got some local singles of beer and I got a sour cream donut, still trying to get the horrible tastes out of my mouth and something in my stomach to sop up the mess. The cider I had back in the room was doing most of the heavy lifting. We turned on the fire place for warmth. I was so bloated, I just sat there waiting for the stomach troubles to begin. Friends was on as a bedtime story, and made for a good distraction. In the night my stomach gurgled, I started feeling like I was going to throw up but it passed.

15, 227 steps and one miserable stomach

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 1

Wed. Sept 6, 2023 Toronto, ON to Minneapolis, MN to Portland, OR

The previous day was a bit frustrating. I had trouble checking in because my name had been misspelled (I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often in general, it is actually quite rare). Thankfully, Brent was able to call the airline and get it fixed. I was annoyed that we had to download an app to check-in, why?! You’re not going to become my exclusive airline due to this. Stop trying.

The 3:30am wake-up felt brutal, even Brent was drinking Red Bull. It had been unbearably hot all night, I went to bed at 10pm and barely slept. I chugged the peach Red Bull on the way to the airport. We took a Lyft and we were out at such an odd hour, we passed a hooker still working/waiting for her ride at the end of the night? Who can say.

The airport was empty, I mean it was a Wednesday after the school year started, so it made sense. We got split up at security. I was on autopilot, I got through and headed straight to customs. After a few minutes of waiting in line I realized that Brent was not in the line. Was he still back at security? Should I be polite and wait for him? I shuffled forward and eventually saw him join the line, about 30 people behind me. At customs I kept saying “we” which caused some confusion. I explained I’d left my husband behind, I was in desperate need of Starbucks and was not going to get to the back of the line to join him. She had a good laugh at that. She also pointed out that I had hair stuck behind my glasses after removing them for the photo, she said it would be driving her nuts. I was too tired to even notice.

Brent caught up to me soon after. He too had an odd border experience, taking the assumed pose for the photo and not understanding when the agent kept saying to relax about it, that he in fact meant that wasn’t happening. Or something like that. I wasn’t there. At Starbucks I got a caramel ribbon crunch frappucino, that way I didn’t have to worry about it cooling down. Cold drinks make the perfect airplane drink.

While we waited there was a crying child and two annoying ladies with twins. This did not bode well for our flight. I was way too tired for this. We were flying on a small airplane to Minneapolis and then catching a connecting flight to Portland. We had to walk on the tarmac to the plane. Except it was dark out, and there were no employees. We were just told to follow the line. I could easily see a dummy stepping closer to the plane for a selfie. We also debated how far we could run before we got caught (can you tell we are GTA fans?). We ended up sitting in the plane, ready to go, for 20 minutes because the runway doesn’t actually open until 6:30am.

The first flight was only 1.5hrs and I slept for at least some of it. That was inevitable. Albeit it was a sad light sleep and not very restful. I had just gotten a 7-day loan of The Only One Left by Riley Sager so I was rushing to finish it, thank goodness the seats didn’t have TVs. I was about 56% done the book and it expired in a day. It was a mad rush to finish. There was someone on our flight not just coughing, but seriously hacking up a lung. It sounded like if the dog from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation had TB.

We had a short layover in Minneapolis. I did not enjoy the landing, it was a bit rough due to strong winds. It had been so boiling hot at Pearson airport, and now the Minneapolis airport was too cold. We had about an hour in the airport but it was confusing because we had shifted time zones. I hustled to Dunkin’ Donuts, my only chance for a quick reunion with my beloved. The iced pumpkin latte was everything I had dreamed it would be, and officially kicked off the PSL season. It was also coffee/caffeine #3 of the day. I had seen an Auntie Anne’s but it was a little further down and I didn’t want to risk it. Brent had already gotten Chik-Fil-A on our way to the waiting area. I was not in the mood for a chicken breakfast and one stolen bite confirmed that. I was in the mood for a good muffin, but the McDonald’s inexplicably didn’t have muffins. As soon as I mentioned the pretzels, Brent set off. Oops.

I had assumed that the second flight would also be short, hour and a half? Two? Nope. It was three hours. Inexplicably, the in-flight entertainment included Peloton videos. I finished my book in the first hour. I was too tired to start another, plus you need a break in between. I was going to open my next book and just set the bookmark, but to my horror I saw that the 7-day loan I had gotten the previous day, Lisa Jewell’s new book None of This Is True hadn’t worked! Shit. I was really in the mood for it too. And was so happy I wouldn’t have to wait weeks (months, really) to get it. I wasn’t planning on reading during the flight, but I was still annoyed that my loan hadn’t downloaded. Instead, I sucked it up and finally watched Mamma Mia 2. I had to get over my “it’s too sad to watch” feelings and finally confirm if this is still the case, or if in the future I can watch both back-to-back. Still sad. I don’t think I can binge it like I do the first one. I had just enough time to watch an episode of Friends after the movie ended. Except they only had season nine?! On the second flight I had gotten the cookies, on the first I had gone with the Sun Chips only to see that the cookie was my (other) beloved Biscoff! Brent was nice enough to go halfsies with me, despite his dislike of Sun Chips (chivalry is not dead, it is alive and well).

We had a much smoother landing in Portland, on the way in we had a great view of Mt. Hood. The airport was confusing, the signs to the rental car place were poorly marked. We had a confusing Audi mini-SUV. My seat was too far forward and I struggled longer than I care to admit to adjust it. At least the seats were heated so it balanced out in the end.

We drove to some scenic nature spots because the airport was east of the city, where all the nice stuff is. The day centered around the Columbia Gorge. Should be called GORGEous. The day was going to be filled with waterfalls and scenic overlooks. And some Lewis & Clark stuff. Our first stop was the oddly named Portland Women’s Scenic Viewpoint. We could see the gorge, the river and the Vista House, which just happened to be the next stop on our route. It was a bit of a mindfuck for me, and had very little to do with my sleep-deprived, caffeinated, time-messed up brain. We had seen it across the vista/valley/IN the scenic viewpoint across the way. Except we drove to it just down the road?! My brain couldn’t comprehend that we didn’t go over a bridge, or on a bunch of curvy roads. It didn’t feel right. Instead of being across the way, it was just around one bend? Doesn’t matter. It was a pretty thing to look at, despite how odd it was. A house in the arc of a switchback, in the bend of the road. The house (museum?) itself wasn’t open so we were limited to the views from the sidewalk and the steps.

Latourell Falls was amazing, it was just a straight line of water dropping down, no rocks jutting out, no pools, nothing. Just a skinny, long, straight drop. We hiked up a little, 0.1mi according to the sign, to a viewpoint. From there it was another 0.8mi to “top of the falls” but it didn’t really seem worth it. The best views seemed to be from down below, a quick search confirmed this. Back down! On the way we had the choice of taking some switchbacks or climbing up a tiny cliff-face. I called the latter “the monkey way.” No thank you. On the way back down, I saw a phone on the ground. I was saying to Brent that I thought someone had lost their phone, as I looked up and saw some girls who responded that no it’s ok it’s their phone. Why would you just leave it on the ground like that?! To climb around off the trail no less. On the other side of the sign was a walkway down to the base of the falls. I had seen people down below from the 0.1mi spot. It was a nice nature trail along the river’s edge down to the bottom. The more we thought about it (still for some reason) the more it made sense we hadn’t gone to the top, we would still have to come back down. This was much better. Plus, I was wearing sandals and one of my flowy Aritzia skirts (was this becoming a thing now?)

Multnomah Falls was apparently THE scenic overlook of the Historic Columbia Gorge Highway. We were worried about finding a parking spot, and were fifth in line when a car beside us started pulling out. Brent had to backup to let them out… and then slid into the spot, smooth. This waterfall had a restaurant, museum, bathrooms and even a snack and coffee kiosk. In my book the espresso kiosk is listed as SAVIOUR. We had a beautiful view of the falls from the base. Then we climbed to a bridge and got a halfway view, which was cool because you could also look down. From the kiosk I ordered a white mocha with marshmallow flavouring and I could not resist getting a giant (literally the size of my head, there are pictures to prove it) chocolate chip cookie.

Driving to the Bridge of Gods we saw a sign for Oneonate Gorge but it was too late and we missed the parking. It hadn’t been on the list anyways. We saw a glimpse of it, a tunnel cut into a rock. We saw a sign for Horsetail Falls. That had originally been planned for the way back but made more sense to do now. It lived up to its name, looking like a ponytail. I also took a photo of the cookie in front of my face there. We saw the same two weiner dogs we had seen at Latourell Falls. It seems everyone was doing the same route. We listened to SYSK about “Fake Syndrome K”, not a good episode.

As we left the parking lot, Brent seemed to take a wrong turn. But actually, he was headed us back to the gorge! It was so cool, a hole-tunnel through the rock that used to be the road before it got expanded. The gorge itself had unique plants that weren’t found anywhere else because of the conditions. It was still recovering from a past forest fire. All around that area, the tops of the mountains(?) had bare trees, slowly coming back from the fires. It looked like a head with sparse stubble. The giant cookie and the mocha (coffee #4) fortified me. Of course, the coffee would, it was a white mocha with marshmallow flavour.

The Bridge of Gods was something I had read about in the Toronto Star as a Portland must-see. It was an old suspension toll bridge over the Columbia River. It was scenic to look at but didn’t make sense to drive over because we’d be coming right back and have to pay a double toll. The view was OF the bridge, not FROM the bridge. Adding to the scenic beauty was a scrub jay in a tree.

Our last stop was the Bonneville Dam. I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was still only 2pm (but actually it was 5pm back home). The dam was way cooler than expected. We had barely pulled into the parking lot and there was an osprey soaring overhead. There was a fish ladder to help the salmon get past the dam. We could see it outside, looking down and seeing the fish sort of hop up. They did it so fluidly and it made it look effortless.  But we could also watch from down below via viewing windows. They had a measuring stick along the window edge so you could see how big the salmon were. They also had an identifying guide so you could tell what you were looking at. Multiple old people commented on the fish being their dinner.

The osprey dove into the water but came up empty. It was still awesome to see. We walked over to the hydroelectric dam building. The giant turbines were enclosed, I was hoping to see the water actually rushing. There was a lot of info on how electricity is generated there and I still barely (if at all) grasp it. From there we drove to the Lewis & Clark Recreation Park. I really had no idea what to expect here, a camp ground? Info centre? Trails? Scenic looks? It was just a name grab for a plain park. There was an info panel about their journey and a note about how they had tried to cross the nearby river but it was like quicksand. So, they named it the Sandy River and moved on.

On the GPS map I could see that there was an outlet mall across the street (?) but it had been a long day and we still had to get to the hotel.

Driving into Portland, I was not impressed. We were so close to the hotel and it felt like we had barely entered the city. There was an LRT, some encampments and lots of graffiti. In the hotel parking lot, I spotted an Environment Canada car with British Colombia plates. What the heck were they doing all the way down here? They were either at a conference or this was an egregious misuse of a company-issued vehicle. At check-in, the lady asked us if we were here for the conference. Nope. She also told us that we had just missed the cold & rainy weather, we joked that we needed it because we were escaping the Toronto heatwave (which apparently had followed us).

We dropped our stuff and immediately headed back out for dinner. I was hungry and tired. We had a reservation at Ecliptic Brewing and we were going to be early. The walk was not the best. We saw 4 sketchy people. One lady was dragging her bags to an RV and just yelling at no one and nothing. One guy came out of an apartment building and just peed right there in the middle of the sidewalk. A mail carrier was walking along smoking a cigarette. Then we had to walk under an overpass. At some point the sidewalk ended. Along the way we did see a few Portland-esque houses. And some Portland-esque people. All on bikes of course. The first two were young hipsters. The third was an older man with a long sleeve flannel buttoned all the way up to his neck and just covered in tattoos.

The brewery was on the edge between an industrial area and a gentrified condo-filled area. The place was empty. Yet the service was SO SLOW. There was one employee. It was a good 20 minutes between our getting seated and our order being taken. I ordered the “adult” (???) grilled cheese because it had Tillamook cheddar which is a local cheese company. The soup of the day had changed, it wasn’t corn chowder but instead the more appropriate creamy tomato jalapeno. She was so apologetic about the change and worried I wouldn’t like it. What’s not to like?! It was delicious. I made a note in my phone to look up a recipe. I had a glass of the Carina sour peach. It was surprisingly good and I drank the whole beer. I did wish they did flights or something smaller than 16oz because after one I was done. Brent had ordered a weird dish. It was fried rice with seaweed and a bacon terrine. But the fried rice and seaweed had been shaped into a triangle and used as “bread” for a bacon terrine “sandwich.” It was hard to eat, and some parts were ok. It goes without saying that we did not swap. It was another 15 minutes after we finished before our plates even got cleared and brent could order another beer. The weird part is that our food arrived so fast. That was the shortest wait of all of the waits! Needless to say, we did not visit the bottle shop after that slow experience. We also didn’t order dessert, but that is because we were going ot Blue Star Donuts (another Toronto Star recommendation). What we did not realize was that this location closed earlier than the other. What kind of donut shop closes at 5pm?! Alas I would be dessert-less.

We stopped at a liquor store on the way back, taking a non-under-the-overpass route instead. Expect it was an actual liquor store. No beer, no cider, no wine, just the hard stuff. We backtracked two doors down to a convenience store we had just passed. They didn’t have singles, I got a 6-pack of 2Towns Brightcider. It was an Oregon cider made with Pippin Netwon apples. I had debated the raspberry one but it was 8% and I wasn’t sure if it had Oregon raspberries. There was also Incline Strawberry cider but that felt kind of iffy and like I would only want one can.

It was a long, slow, tired walk back to the hotel.  Time seemed to be stretching forever because of the 3-hour time difference. I was so tired and confused by it that I could have sworn we were closing in on 24hrs awake (it was closer to 20-21 in the end). The long and short of it was that we had been awake since midnight current time. A nice lady complimented my skirt. We passed by a food truck court. There was a girl looking at discarded stuff at the curb, including a flowy skirt. I kind of secretly hoped that she would see me pass by in my flowy skirt and feel inspired. A guy with face and head tattoos wearing a mask as a chin diaper passed us by. I was very confused. I also got really excited seeing a cat but he was chilling on the lawn so I let him be. I saw what I thought was a sidewalk sign for a second location of a chain of liquor stores? Nope, just a flashy recycling bin. At least Brent had quietly thought the same thing. Only when one of us remarked on the second one did it come to light. We walked by a mechanic garage and heard music, it sounded live? Turns out it was! We saw an actual, literal, garage band.

The cider was delicious. I logged into Libby and BEHOLD! THE LISA JEWELL BOOK!! I clicked on it… and got an error. Someone else had snatched it! That was what must have happened to me earlier. At least now I knew. And would obsessively monitor it. I had two ciders while writing about the day in my book. It was 8.5 pages in my notebook. I looked up coffee for the next day. The closest coffee shop was one I had made fun of on our walk back. The sign on the brick wall opposite it said TINY COFFEE LIQUOR SPIRITS YOGA PUNK PDX. It seemed like the most confused business ever. I debated if I wanted to go there for coffee, or just go with good old reliable Starbucks. I decided we had to investigate, at the very least we would have a “weird Portland” experience to write home about. And the coffee was highly rated, and I trust hipsters opinions of coffee.

We watched two Dunky videos and in between I kept refreshing Libby. I was mildly obsessed, not having it made me want it that much more. My state of mind seems to have deteriorated. How much was tiredness, how much was cider, who can say but my notebook says “mad mashing of buttons BOOK BOOK BOOK.” I had been awake for 21hrs and I was done. I showered and crawled into bed before 10pm. This day had to end.

25,482 steps: that one snuck up on me because it was in small segments, it didn’t feel like I’d walked that much