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A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.
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When you’ve gone from a 24-hr flu bug to a cold a few days later it is not that surprising to end up with sinusitis a week and a half later. That is where I found myself one Friday night, walking home in the freezing rain with a pulsing pain in my temples. Brent had suggested we go out for best late night souvlaki and gyros/late night greek. I declined. There was no way I was leaving the house again.
We settled down for a nice quiet night in, aptly playing Pandemic (while I held a hot pack to my head, just to add to it). Eventually Brent got hungry… that brave soul went out in the freezing rain to Messini’s. The food was amazing. I had ordered grilled octopus and a pork souvlaki. Brent, with eyes bigger than his stomach, ordered 3(!!!) pitas. The pitas were giant, the bread was so fluffy and light. For some reason they were stuffed with fries? It was a good addition. The real star was the grilled octopus, each bite was a little piece of greasy (it was smothered in olive oil) chewy heaven. As has become the tradition, we feasted while watching old episodes of The Simpsons, most notably the Mr. Plow episode.
Fri. Dec 13, 2013:
Waking up at 4:30am when you have a 4:45am wake-up alarm set is awful, there is no falling asleep. It is made all the worse if it is after a night of shouting, mild drinking and too much chocolate cake. It was an anxious wait for the cab, the suspense of would he find us was killing me. The flight back was pretty bad, I felt sick, still not having fully recovered from the flu. Because I had felt so horrible, I had not indulged in my daily cup of coffee so on top of the exhaustion I also had a caffeine-crash headache. Not exactly the best way to end a trip.
And with that I have filled another travel notebook. I also learned that the resort life is not for me.
Thurs. Dec 12, 2013:
Having spent the last few days either sick or on our feet, we opted for a lazy day at the resort. Maybe we were wrong in disliking resort life? Maybe it was really awesome[1]? The morning was cloudy; we hid out in the house for a while, all reading. Brent and I headed to River Island for a day of fun, while Tasha & Greg went off on a mission to find a quiet place to read that was not playing Christmas music. We bought passes for River Island, allowing us unlimited mini-golf and tube rentals for the lazy river. It felt like a waste to buy a 3-day pass, but they did not have single day passes.
It was rather cold out (compared to the past few days), we decided to leave the lazy river for the afternoon. I was a bit rusty, having not played mini-golf for years. That was the excuse I gave myself for my poor performance, with an abysmal 20-swing hole. My total score was double Brent’s score (61 to 119). I did manage to get a hole in one though; I at least had that over Brent. The sun was starting to get stronger, it was hotter out and the UV was climbing: lacking sunscreen, we had to hide out indoors. We had been given 100 credits each to the arcade, which at first sounded like a lot… until the guy said it would get us 1-2 games. Apparently he had forgotten they had some old-school games in there for much cheaper (Ms. Pac Man and Donkey Kong). We had lunch at the only place that was open. I barely glanced at the menu; as soon as I saw “grilled cheese” my mind was set. There had been a girl yelling and the waitresses and some patrons all ran over, but it turned out she was just playing and did not actually need help.
Having just eaten a large lunch, it seemed like a bad idea to go swimming. Thankfully there was a second mini-golf course on the island. We decided not to keep score this time. It figures that when we are not keeping score, I do amazing, getting a score of 3 on the first hole. We caught up to a family and rather than play past them, we decided to hang back and see who could get a hole-in-one first. It was fun but also frustrating. I managed to get 1; Brent beat me though, getting 2 hole-in-ones. There were some suspenseful misses. The sun had gotten much stronger and it was getting really hot outside. Plus the Christmas music playing on the golf course was really getting to me, it was louder than by the pool. We retreated to the lazy river, tubes in hand. It was too cold to float along the river, it was warmer to stay in the water and hold on to the tube, slowly floating along the river. It was fun bobbing around, desperately trying to avoid the water cannon and waterfalls. We passed by Greg & Tasha, who had the best seats on River Island, right beside the water spouts thus drowning out the Christmas music. We did not last very long in the river, bailing on it and running for the hot tubs.
The Christmas music was really starting to get to me, alas we could not find Tasha & Greg so we walked back to the house, but not before stopping at the arcade so I could play skeeball. Once we had regrouped we decided to go to Applebee’s for dinner. We joked that we were old people given we were going for dinner so early; it was only 4 in the afternoon. I ordered the signature drink: apple sangria. What they did failed to mention was that it is served to you in a giant bowl with a stem, not a glass. It felt like I was drinking from a fishbowl. Brent and I had ordered pretzel bread sticks to share. They came with a disgusting amount of cheese on the side. Things only got worse from there. My Cajun steak was completely over-salted. We traded halfway, but the half-rack of ribs that Brent had ordered was bland. The meal only confirmed my feelings about Applebee’s: meh, it is just the American version of Jack Astor’s. I had been contemplating dessert at Applebee’s but I had a very specific craving for cookies which, for some reason, were not on the menu.
The downside to staying in a resort that resembles a gated neighbourhood is that there are no vending machines nearby. It would be a half hour walk to the nearest shop and even then, I was not sure if they sold cookies there. Another downside is being unsure if a cab will be able to find you. We needed a cab the next day to take us to the airport at 5:00am. Brent called the front desk but they were just as unsure. We sat around the house awaiting trivia at the Legacy Sports Bar. I was not sure if it would be sports trivia or general and an internet search proved inconclusive.
No one was paying attention during the team naming, therefore Brent just wrote down “Greg’s Team” on our ballot. We were up against 3 other teams, and there were prizes for 1rst, 2nd and 3rd places: we were confident we would do well. There was one team who were unstoppable, getting all but 1 question right. To be fair, they had twice as many people as other teams. About halfway through trivia one team had left, we were a shoe-in for at least 3rd, even the team that came in halfway would not be able to make up the points from the first half. There were a few upsets during the game, making things all the more fun. One question was “what is the capital of Canada”, we cheered and shouted. The trivia master said that a surprising amount of people get that one wrong and indeed half the teams did get it wrong. Another question was which month has the birthstone turquoise. Of the group I knew the most birthstones. I said December, but Brent insisted that his birthstone was white. I racked my brain, repeatedly questioning him. He was insistent. Tasha said it was a winter month. Brent and Greg said summer months. Again, I questioned Brent: how was he so certain? Finally I caved and said January, even though I still really thought it was December. What was the final answer after all that debating? It was December. I threw my arms up in frustration and went back to eating my Jack Daniels chocolate cake (which only half filled my cookie craving).
We were always quick to answer so the trivia master would entertain us while the others debated. He showed us a magic trick wherein he turned a regular deck of cards all into 7 of clubs. We tried desperately to figure it out. Tasha knew, apparently she has training in magic tricks. Greg knew, someone had done the trick for them earlier in the week and Tasha had told him in confidence how it was done. We were so close to getting it out of Greg but he withheld.
Arguably the biggest upset of the night was the final trivia question. Here you could bet all the points you had earned à la Final Jeopardy. The question was: which planet is the only one to spin counter-clockwise. We puzzled over it, all drawing blanks. Then Brent piped up with Venus. We questioned him; he said something about it being a little understood planet. Greg mentioned having read something about this recently. Greg also has a physics background; therefore it was much easier to believe him when he said Saturn. Plus Saturn has all those rings. Maybe I was also still recovering from the birthstone upset, but I sided with Greg, who already had Tasha on his side. I was not 100% sure though, I did not want to bet that many points. Greg insisted that we bet all of them. A compromise was reached and we bet 39 of our 41 points. The answer was revealed: it was Venus. Brent stood up and shouted, pointing to the original ballot that said Venus. It was easily the most hilarious upset of all time. We still managed to come in 2nd place. Our prize was a $10 gift voucher to any resort restaurant. Alas, it was not applicable to alcohol so we could not use it then.
I was exhausted, all I could think of was sleep, it was only 9:30pm but we did have a 5:00am cab to catch in the morning.
[1] Nope. Resort life is not for Brent and I.
Wed. Dec 11, 2013:
As it turns out, going to be at 3 in the afternoon is a good way to ensure a super early wake up the next day. I was sore and sick of being in bed. It was only 8:00 (I had woken up at 7:30 and still tried to sleep, alas I was sore in all positions) and I figured everyone would still be asleep. Somehow I was still the last one out of bed. It was decided that after crepes for breakfast we would set out for the Kennedy Space Centre.
We put all our faith in the GPS to guide us there. That is until we got to a neighbourhood service station and the GPS said we had arrived. Jokes ensued about seeing where the shuttles get serviced while we tried again with the GPS. This time we put in Cape Canaveral and we were on our way. The GPS assured us that we would be there in an hour. I am not sure that it took into account having to stop at a toll booth every few miles, it was ridiculous. I would have rather paid a higher toll at just one booth. After a while Brent noticed that two exits ago the signs for Kennedy Space Centre had stopped. We followed the GPS, taking the exit it suggested. We stopped at gas station and asked for directions; turns out we had to backtrack two exits. When we checked to see where the GPS was taking us, we found out it was taking us to Kennedy Camp Grounds. No more GPS, we were going to follow highway signs. Thankfully the gas station had a Dunkin’ Donuts so I too could fill up: on coffee and donuts. Given the season, I was drawn in by the red velvet latte and matching donut. While we were in the Dunkin’ Donuts there was a group of horribly annoying guys. One of them said to Tasha: looks like you dropped something. I was looking all around, mildly panicked, wondering what she could have possibly dropped. And then he said: your smile. No reaction whatsoever from Tasha, nothing but laughter from the guy’s friend: if only that were the end of it. His friend commented that he had not done it right, and proceeded to demonstrate how it is done… and used the exact same line on Tasha again. Of course more laughter ensued as he too got shut out. Another from the group piped up that they were both saying it wrong. “I hope we weren’t annoying,” one of them said to us on our way out.
Back on the highway we finally saw some signs for Kennedy Space Centre, we were back on track! It felt like we were really close once we took the right exit. What I had forgotten to account for was driving all the way out, given it was located on a little tiny peninsula, as in far away from everything. On the way we saw a gator in the canal running parallel to the road. As it turns out, the land around the Kennedy Space Centre is a nature reserve, which explains that photo of a frog getting blown sky-high during a rocket launch.
We started our day in the rocket garden which is exactly what it sounds like: winding paths with rockets interspersed throughout flowerbeds, complete with little info boards. We looked at maybe two rockets before seeking shelter from the noonday sun in the History of Space Exploration exhibit. Back outside in the rocket garden they have a Gemini capsule you could climb into. I did not enjoy it, it was cramped and tiny and only added on to the list of reasons why I will never be an astronaut. The Angry Birds in Space exhibit seemed unrelated and I learned nothing there. There was a laser maze you could go through, wherein you had to jump over and crawl under lasers. There was a camera inside; we could watch Brent and then Greg attempt the maze. The results were hilarious. Alas, the supervisor came over and Tasha did not get a chance, turns out it was meant only for kids.
We stopped at the Orbit Café for lunch. It was absolutely horrid. My chicken tenders tasted like peanuts. I watched them make Brent’s chicken sandwich, as she pulled the pre-cooked chicken breast out of the warmer, it was soaking wet and dripping: that is not right. After lunch we went on the bus tour. Up until then it had seemed that Kennedy Space Centre was a bit of a rip-off, so expensive and so few things to see (rocket garden, history of space flight, Angry Birds and the one building, Atlantis, we had not gone to yet). It all seemed like stuff that could be set up anywhere.
The bus was taking us to an exhibit on the Saturn V rockets, but instead of going straight there, we took the scenic route. We got to see launch pads, bases, the Vehicular Assembly Building (i.e.: where they build the rockets). One of the coolest things was getting to see a Crawler, as in what they use to get the rockets from the Vehicular Assembly Building TO the actual launch pad. Along the way we also saw some more alligators hanging out in canals.
We were dropped off at the Saturn V Rocket Centre and left standing there. It was a long boring wait, but finally we were let in. We stood in a giant room and watched a video about the creation of the Saturn V rocket, it was tacky and horrible. From there the doors opened into a small auditorium, at the front of which they had set up the actual control room from the Saturn V launch to the moon. On the screen they played clips from the actual launch, both raw footage of NASA people running about and people watching the launch. When the footage of the launch played, the whole auditorium shook so as to add a sense of realism. Another set of doors opened and there, suspended from the ceiling on its side was the Saturn V rocket in all its giant glory. I cannot state how enormous it was, for comparison: I am guessing it would not fit in an airplane hangar.
I got to touch more moon rock, this time it was basalt which is naturally smooth unlike the rock in the Smithsonian which was smoothed over time with wear. They had on display the Kitty Hawk capsule from the Apollo 14 mission, it had been to space and back: you could tell, compared to all the other stuff on display. It was no longer silver, having taken on a tarnished brown colour. The only space food they had in the gift shop was astronaut ice cream. I had been hoping to buy as souvenirs some food in a tube or something really wacky.
The bus ride back was much shorter, as we drove directly back. Along the way in the canal there were what appeared to be flamingoes (in the Nature &Technology building we would later learn that they were roseate spoonbills). In the Atlantis building we had to go up a ramp, around a corner and up another ramp. There was so much anticipation building… only to be faced with a barrier and a sign saying we had to wait 7 minutes for the next showing. I was concerned that this was the wait for the shuttle launch simulation, which I had every intention of sitting out. Turns out it was a movie about Atlantis. The movie continued in a second room, except this time it played on all the walls and the ceiling, making me really dizzy. It was supposed to make us feel like we were aboard the Atlantis shuttle.
The doors opened and there in front us was the Atlantis shuttle, complete with a Canadarm (of which there are apparently multiples, not just one as I had previously thought). There was more age discrimination as we tried to take the slide down to the next floor, it was at the angle of re-entry, but you had to be under 12 years old. On the lower floor of the exhibit, down below the shuttle, there were various simulations you could test out. I tried to land a shuttle but it only made me really dizzy and I crashed, further proving what a lousy astronaut I would make. I sat out for the shuttle launch exhibition, as I was still not feeling 100% better after the flu.
We were so close to being done; we had only 3 exhibits left! The Hubble Space telescope exhibit sucked, we were expecting gorgeous colour photos, but there were only a few. It was mostly little info bubbles about it intended for people who were waiting around to be let in for the IMAX films. I was tempted by the movie theatre popcorn, so I stayed behind while they went to the robot exhibit. I had to settle for Cracker Jacks because the popcorn was only available in giant tubs. Apparently I had only missed Greg getting hugged by a robot; the rest of the exhibit was boring. I was about to ask Brent if he knew that the astronaut posted outside the exhibit was in fact a person in costume, until I saw out of the corner of my eye that the astronaut was following him.
The Nature & Tech exhibit was really boring and unrelated; it was about the wildlife in the nature reserve part. We were all very tired and ready to leave. For dinner, Brent and I went to the sports bar. I was craving greasy, garlicky chicken wings: the perfect dinner for a sore throat. I had brought along my souvenir cup, but the bar tender made way too much margarita and I ended up with an extra half cup on the side. The best part of the day, no matter what Greg says, was the bus ride.
Tues. Dec 10, 2013:
Brent had caught a 24-hour flu bug and was out for the day. We decided to have a lazy day on the resort, that way I could pop by and check on Brent periodically throughout the day. My throat was sore from the past two days of screaming, I was looking forward to a quiet day of reading by the pool on River Island. So much for quiet, they were blasting Christmas music on a loop. It was bad; we had to set up camp by some water jets to drown out the noise. Once I finally settled into my lounge chair, coffee and book in hand, it was fine. Until around noon when it got boiling hot, I took a quick dip in the river and soaked my head. Back in my lounge chair it was nice to be shivering and cold, but that did not last very long.
We retreated back to the house for lunch and to check on Brent. We researched swimming with the manatees and Greg called to find out more. Alas he found out that it had been so unseasonably warm that the manatees were staying further out in the ocean, there were very few manatee sightings. It was not worth it to get up at 4:30am and risk a few hours in a boat with no sightings.
Back at the pool I was exhausted, I could not even stay awake to read. I managed to fall asleep despite the Christmas music. I woke up and in a paranoid daze went off in search of anti-getting-sick supplies. I was not going to let the inevitable flu wallop me! I stocked up on orange juice, Halls and dissolvable vitamin C/immune boosting tablets. I took it one step further and dissolved the tablet in my orange juice. I ended up falling asleep again, so much for reading. After 2 naps I was still tired and raccoon-eyed. The only thing cheering me up was watching people get sprayed with the water cannon while they floated by in the lazy river.
No matter how hard I tried to fight it and deny it: the flu was after me. I did not go out again with Tasha & Greg, who went back to Universal Studios. I took to the couch and slept for 3 hours, alas it made my back hurt. I figured if I was sick already, then sleeping in the same room as Brent would no longer be a danger to me. I did not sleep well however, it was fitful but I avoided the worst of the flu. All I got were a few aches and half a day lost. Victory!!!
*** for those of you keeping score: this is my 1000th post *shower of confetti*
Mon. Dec 9, 2013:
Barely out of bed, and we were already out the door to guest services. Greg had gotten a good deal on tickets to Universal Studios and we had no time to waste. To get the tickets we had to walk by where all the time share deals are signed, we were there early enough in the morning that there was still some food out. We swiped a few donuts (if you believe in karma, it got us, they were gross) and oranges which I like to believe came from an orange tree nearby.
Bad donuts and oranges make for a lousy breakfast; we stopped at McDonald’s to grab some food. Alas, they did not have muffins (it might be more widespread than I had initially thought, even though everyone in the car argued against me). I had a bite of Brent’s southwestern chicken biscuit, it only confirmed my hatred of southern biscuits, they’re weirdly mealy and chewy and just gross- at least the McDonald’s one is.
We got to Universal Studios around 11 and had to wait in line to redeem our vouchers for actual tickets. There was a giant group of at least seven people holding the line-up, debating God only knows what. I was really anxious to get to the park. Thankfully once we got our tickets the crowd thinned out. We started with the Despicable Me ride partly because it was the first one we saw upon entering. We had decided to start on the right side of the park where there were only a few rides we wanted to go on, then spend the rest of the day at Islands of Adventure, leaving Harry Potter World for another day (we had multi-day passes).
Up next we walked over to an actual roller coaster. I took one look at it and said hell no. the whole way over they were trying to convince me that it was not that bad. I beg to differ: it starts with a vertical 90˚ incline and then upside down. I happily sat out, I finally had a chance to grab a late breakfast, alas I had to settle for a hotdog as the corndogs were all sold out (damn group of school kids nearby ate them all). The Transformers ride was new; Tasha & Greg said it was not there last time. There also happened to be no line-up for it. The guy told us it was the best ride in the park. If it was the same one as at Universal Studios in LA, then this guy was telling a blatant lie. The ride was as bad as in LA, except this time there was no wait at all. When we left, we were going to confront the liar… only he was gone! That trickster had disappeared!
We got lucky again, there was no line-up at all for The Mummy. Herein I assumed it would also be the same as in LA, my expectations were set as such. Big mistake to assume so: the ride was not the same; it was much scarier, darker and had real fire. Needless to say I was screaming my head off on this roller coaster in the dark. My wrists hurt afterwards from gripping the safety bar so hard.
We were confused when we got to the Men In Black ride. There was a short line-up but we were quickly ushered into a room wherein a lady said she would take us on a guided tour of an exhibit. We were ready to bail when the charade was busted, it was a cover-up! We were taken into an “elevator” and sent to secret training at the MIB headquarters. The ride was basically an alien shootout. We each had a laser gun and had to shoot aliens. We made it into a couple’s competition. Brent and I destroyed Tasha & Greg, Brent’s score alone destroyed there’s combined. Brent had come in first place, Tasha came in a close second and Greg was a distant last. Unless you count the lady sitting beside me, she had a lowly score of 1,000 (for comparison, mine was in the 70,000 range).
The Simpsons ride was also the same as in LA so we skipped it. I demanded a stop at the Kwik-E-Mart for a giant Lard Lad donut. I have no idea why these donuts are so good, I doubt they are made fresh daily. Lunch was had at Krusty Burger; it was a giddy thrill to order a Krusty Burger. While our burgers were being prepared Brent went next door to Moe’s to get us drinks (Duff beer and a Mr. Teeny for me). The server asked me where my “husband” had gone; I stared at him blankly for a second and realized he meant Brent. It made me feel old, even more so given this kid was no more than 14 years old, maybe 16 but no older. The Krusty Burger was surprisingly good given the cheese on it was nacho cheese (I am not sure if you can actually call it cheese) and it came with curly fries (the best format of fries). For dessert we had to eat the giant donut or else we would have to lug it with us on rides, not a good idea.
Islands of Adventure was where all the good stuff was. Well, most of the good stuff. Brent & Greg started off with The Hulk. There was no way you could ever get me to ride it: you get shot out of a tunnel right into a twist that leads into an upside down loop. Tasha had given us fair warning that we were going on rides where we would get wet. I just assumed she meant like a little splash, like on a log ride. I would soon eat my words. The Dudley Do-Right ride appeared to be just that: a log ride. Everyone around was soaked, but I assumed that they had gone on it multiple times and were watching other people on it as well. Oh how wrong I was. There were people on bridges overhead who had paid to spray us with water guns. There are a few false drops on the ride, little small drops that basically caught me off guard (resulting in some funny yelps) and just splashing us, then came the final drop. I was not ready for how steep, fast and sharp it was. They also somehow engineered it so that you get soaked versus the usual splash from a log ride. We were drenched.
Before heading over to the Popeye ride, I ran into a gift shop and asked for a plastic bag: my camera was at risk. The money I had in my pocket was now soggy and stuck together; I threw it in the bag and hoped it would be ok. Popeye’s was a boat ride, we sat in a circular pontoon and thankfully there was a waterproof storage in the middle. I tossed my shoes in. good thing I did, during the ride a lot of water had poured in through the open sides. At some point a water spigot sprayed water straight down on my head, resulting in peals of laughter from everyone else… that is until they got splashed or hit with a wave. Then it wasn’t as funny apparently. I was sitting backwards and so I could not see what was coming next, it was hard to avoid the waterfalls and sprays.
The Jurassic Park ride was the same as in LA… except the splash at the end. Those damn splash engineers were at it again. We were completely drenched, whereas in LA it was just a light spray. With that we had cleared out most of what we had wanted to see. We had time to go check out Harry Potter World. We were assuming it would be busy; we had not waited in lines all day (except Despicable Me) therefore everyone was in Harry Potter world. While it was a little busier, it was not that tragic. The line at Hogwarts for the quiddich ride moved quickly. It was amazing to see how much effort h ad been put into constructing the Hogwarts castle from Harry Potter. It was the most detailed and interesting line-up queue I have ever been in. The hall of portraits was especially cool, as they were all (or most of them anyways) animated. The ride itself was partly 3D screens and partly a set. The ride moved along a track, switching between screens and real stuff. Then it did the unthinkable: it flipped us upside down. I yelled about it but did not scream. The story of the ride was really confusing. We were playing a game on a field, then a dragon chased us then we were back on the field, then we were racing through the castle? I was mad that I had been flipped upside down, not cool.
The next ride was a roller coaster wherein your feet dangled and you got flipped upside down: nope. Once again I acted as holder of hats while they went on the ride. I was not alone in my refusal. A mom walked by with her kid and tried to convince him to go on it, he refused, smart kid. I was happy just standing there, watching people drink butter beer which looked horribly disgusting.
We passed through Dr Seuss Land on our way out to go on a really annoying ride. Tasha & Greg had mentioned how terribly annoying it was, we just had to go on it, to see for ourselves. It was a crappy little train ride, narrated with a Seuss story. The train passed above a cafeteria, the people down below waved at us. It wasn’t that annoying but I was tired, hungry and damp.
On our way home we stopped at Target and the liquor store (Brent was in search of good Florida beer). I did not enjoy walking around Target in my damp clothes, it was uncomfortable. It was worth it though, I ended up finding my beloved Ben & Jerry’s Liz Lemon frozen Greek yogurt. We ended the night with a South Park marathon and a few rounds of euchre.
Sun. Dec 8, 2013:
Even after going to bed at 2am I managed to get up at 9:30am, I was excited to get my vacation started. Greg and Tasha had to go to a time share presentation (we were having no part of it, we were there as guests) which was part of the reason they got the accommodations so cheap. They had no interest in going to Disney World, and so our plans were settled: we would start off at Epcot Centre (as to my persistent demands) and finish off with Magic Kingdom. We bought our tickets at the resort, alas for all the time saved and convenience: they did not have an easy shuttle for us to the park. We would have to wait 2 hours and pay $30. Greg ended up driving us instead.
We jumped out of the car and ran for the tram from the parking lot to the part entrance- it turns out we could have walked faster. We followed the attraction numbers on the map, starting with #1 which just so happened to be inside the cool dome thing. The ride was a “roller coaster” through history (mind you, a communications-focused history as the ride was sponsored by Siemens). The animatronic robots were too creepy; it made me wonder if just one of them might be a real person, ready to jump out at us at any moment. Innovention East was our next stop: it was boring and it sucked, we just cut through the pavilion, enjoying the respite from the blazing sun. They did have one exhibit where you could create your own roller coaster and then experience a simulation of it, but I was far too lazy to stand in line and then have to design a coaster- plus I would be really mad if later in the day there wasn’t time for something much more fun.
Up next was an astronaut training simulation wherein I learned that I would make a lousy astronaut. Each car sat 4 people who were sent on a “mission” to Mars (I say “mission” because Gary Sinise was in charge, they could have gotten someone more believable, really). Each of us had a role and had to push buttons when prompted. I was not having it, partly because my buttons were lit up the whole time but mostly because I was trying to keep it together- somehow I did not expect to get jostled around that much. For some reason there was already a landing strip and a few airport buildings on Mars before we got there- weird.
This might seem odd but I was excited about the car simulation (wet roads, speeding, and stopping). As we got closer I noticed a track around the top of the building and something whizzed by and disappeared with a whoosh- crap, it looked scary i thought. For some reason the sign by the entrance made me think that this would be a 3D simulation in front of a screen like the astronaut training, and that calmed me down. It was only when we got to the front of the line and had to get into a little car on a track that I realized it was not a simulation in front of a screen. The ride started out with some boring stuff like skidding and stopping and swerving… then all of a sudden we were blasted to an outside track at a high speed, going around sharp corners on an angle. The track I had seen outside earlier was indeed part of the ride and I had forgotten about it until we were whizzing along it- all the while I was screaming my head off. It was so unexpected, the sudden speed and sharp steep curves!
I was really excited to go to the Cool Club to sample sodas from around the world- not just because of the heat but also to soothe my poor throat. The soda from Italy, Beverly was horrible, it was bitter and gross. People watched Brent’s reaction as he drank and decided against it. And then he went back for seconds, unable to believe how bitter it was. By far the best soda was the melon Fanta from Thailand.
Refreshed and full of sugar we set off for the international section of Epcot to find food and 2 boat rides that Brent remembered as being interesting. At the entrance there was a giant Christmas tree (I still could not get used to all the Christmas stuff, it did not jibe for me with the hot weather) with holiday greetings in different languages. The lines at the Mexican pavilion for food were too long. We went into the Incan pyramid shaped building in search of the first boat ride but we couldn’t find it. Back outside we found a sign saying that it indeed was to be found inside. Great, we got to back inside where it was crowded, noisy and dimly lit. We found it nestled at the back of the building, next to an indoor patio. It is no surprise that there wasn’t a line-up for it. There were some really freaky guitar-playing singing skeletons the ride. I dared Brent to drink the water (The Simpsons episode reference) but he told me that the episode was a reference to the It’s A Small World ride. I added it to the list of things I wanted to see. Apparently there are multiple rides with creepy little animatronic cartoon children.
The African section at Epcot was just named “The Outpost” which is weird because all the other places were individual country names. Norway was packed; there was a 20 minute wait for the boat ride. We left for China, which was also busy. We had chosen the worst time to look for food: lunch hour. In Germany the lines were too long for mediocre (I am assuming) bratwurst, but we did find out that in this section of Epcot… you can drink!! You can walk around from one pavilion to the next with a drink in hand. I cannot express how amused I was by this. The lines everywhere were too long, so when we saw a little coffee and donut stand without a line we made a beeline to it. at the last second (still very amused) I decided to indulge, despite the heat, in a coffee (hot coffee at that) with Kahlua. I was almost beside myself with giddiness as I walked around a Disney Park, at noon, drinking Kahlua. The donuts (we could not decide between chocolate icing and pink, therefore got 2) were surprisingly good. There appears to be a different standard for theme park donuts in the US (or they are pumped full of chemicals to stay so “fresh”) because I am used to them being stale, gross and overpriced in Canada (think Coffee Time at the CNE).
The USA pavilion just had a movie playing (no Hall of Presidents- turns out that it is also at Magic Kingdom). I was getting antsy now; I wanted to go to Magic Kingdom. We breezed through Italy, Morocco and France as they were all very busy. Inexplicably Aladdin merchandise (and someone dressed up as Jasmine) was placed in Morocco, it made no sense. Someone dressed as Belle in France and someone dressed as Mulan in China both at least make sense. In the France pavilion you could buy Givenchy and Dior stuff- who would wanna walk around carrying a hundred dollar bottle of perfume?! The UK pavilion had a tea shop and red phone booths, as can be expected. Canada was disappointing to say the least: a French band singing Christmas music, a totem pole and a log cabin. No Timmies?! No beavertails?! Not even a mountie. To be fair we did not go watch the movie but that is because I was antsy to get on the monorail to Magic Kingdom.
Brent had read in the map brochure that there were a few cool attractions in the Land Pavilion. The line for the hang-gliding simulator was listed as 40 minutes- way too long. Brent was really excited about the next ride: it promised 9 pound lemons. It was not clear if it would just be pictures of them, or actual physical lemons we could look at. It is no surprise the line was so short- the ride seemed boring. My guess was correct at first. Until we rode through some doors and found ourselves passing through a fish farm with tanks full of shrimps, eels, trout and more. From there we passed into a greenhouse. Even there the Christmas spirit was alive and kicking, someone had put up a snowman. But still no lemons, I was starting to think he had misread the brochure. That is until the voice-over announced that the next greenhouse was full of innovations such as… giant, wrinkly, 9 pound lemons!! On our way out we checked the wait time for the hang-gliding simulation: it was now up to 60 minutes.
The Imagination Pavilion looked like a giant child magnet nightmare. There was no one at the Finding Nemo ride, we got to walk right up and get into a clam. The whole ride was sideways and rather crappy, it made Nemo seem like a jerk for just taking off with no reason at all. It was only at the end when the images of Nemo and company were projected onto the window of an actual fish tank (complete with sharks) that things got interesting. Once off the ride we were free to roam the mini-aquarium, looking at sharks and sting rays. Even the manatees came out. They were so big and dopey looking, one was nibbling the others back and fell asleep in the process. They were just floating like lazy creatures.
We passed through Innovention West on our way to the monorail. It was also really boring, but we did learn that before you drop and roll, you should cover your face. In fact, the monorail ride to the transportation hub where we had to catch another monorail was more interesting, hah! It seemed like a reasonable plan at the start of the day: half the day spent at Epcot, half at Magic Kingdom. No one else seemed to agree, as they were all over at Magic Kingdom. The place was crammed, there were so many people!
My main goal was to go on Splash Mountain. On our way to it we saw that it was only a 10 minute wait for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (based on which they made a movie), I couldn’t resist. The ride stopped in the pirate town where everyone was singing and we were stuck for a few minutes. It felt like eternity though, beucase we could hear the audio tracks from another portion of the ride and they were overlapping in a loop. Plus we kept getting bumped from behind as the “boats” piled up in a pseudo-traffic jam. I was getting really sick of hearing “yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me” or whatever the words were. It was awful.
There weren’t any good food options on the way to Splash Mountain (we thought we could eat lunch while waiting in line). The sign said it would be a 35 minute wait. Apparently the sign did not take into account hoards of people who paid extra to skip to the front of the line with their stupid fancy Fast Passes. It was really irritating to see them saunter by while we had to stand there, not moving an inch and when we finally did start moving we would abruptly stop. It did not help that there were cheerleaders further back in the line who deemed it necessary to chant for their parents, it was infuriating to say the least. Every corner we turned we felt that we were closer to the line, that is until we saw more people up ahead. We ended up snaking in a queue outside, up a set up stairs, around a corner, down a ramp (from which through the windows we could see the ride itself), around another corner and finally we were able to board. I was quite hangry by the time we boarded the ride. Finally we were on the ride, going through a really weird forest where a bear and a fox were fighting over a rabbit- until it stopped under three singing possums, a frog on a branch informed us that we were having technical difficulties. It was all too weird for me. The story made no sense at all, especially when we passed through the Land of Laughter. What was going on?! I just wanted to go on a famous log-ride! As always, I screamed during the actual drop which is always scarier, steeper and faster than I anticipate. Soaking wet and shivering, we were so close to the exit when the ride stopped again- right beside a waterfall of run-off from the splash. Needless to say, the photo they snapped of me on the ride was hilarious (somewhere out there, there exists a hilarious archive).
I was hungry and tired of standing in lines, when I saw a corndog vendor with no line-up I nearly ran towards him. Brent wasn’t keen on corndogs, but apparently he had never even had one. Lunch was settled. We had no other real food options as the whole place was crammed. Plus corndogs are handy food you can eat while you walk to It’s A Small World. Alas, it was closed for renovations, so much for getting to see some more creepy animatronic children singing horrible songs. On our way we saw that two fireworks had been set off at the castle- and that was it. Two fireworks, before the sun had barely started to set.
We weren’t sure if we would be able to squeeze in another ride after Thunder…I mean Space… Mountain (I kept making that mistake all day long). It was a long walk through empty queues before we got to the actual line-up, and that coupled with the fact that the line moved incrementally made the half hour wait seem that much shorter. I was still mad whenever I saw a car go by with 1-2 empty seats. I did not anticipate screaming that much, but it turns out that Space Mountain is an indoor roller coaster… that is completely in the dark. I was terrified for most of the ride. When we got back outside it was dark, the sun had set while we waited in line. We were hungry but they only food we could find was more corndogs. There was a giant bottleneck at the exit as everyone tried to leave at once. We went off again in search of food, but most of the stalls were now closed. We joined the slow bottleneck and made our way out of the park. There were no fireworks on account of the special Christmas show starting at 7pm, only after that would there be fireworks. Thankfully the monorail system was fast and efficient and in no time we found ourselves at the transportation hub, hailing a cab to take us back to Orange Lake. Disney World was fun, it is one of those things you have to see but I am no diehard fan (I wish I had known how merchandise crazy these people were, I would have brought cat ears with me- everyone was wearing Mickey or Minnie mouse ears) and I doubt I will go back.
The cab dropped us off at the front desk, which is all well and good when you are staying in a hotel, but when on a resort? We had to get a map from the front desk and slowly, stopping by streetlamps to check the map, made our way back. It was a good half hour walk, but no shuttles (the resort is so big that a shuttle bus operates) passed us… until we were 5 minutes away. If we had been on the shuttle we would have missed the sprinkler watering a stop sign.
No sooner were we back, we headed out again with Tasha & Greg. There was going to be karaoke by the pool. I ended up getting a souvenir cup because it had cheap refills on drinks. I was surprised to see that I could get green chiles on my burger, they are unbelievably good. I refused to sing karaoke, my throat hurt from all the screaming. Plus it was a lot more fun to watch Greg sing Kryptonite as requested by our server, or Brent (literally) shouting the lyrics to Sunglasses at Night, or Tasha having to bleep a Nikki Minaj song. We ended the evening by sitting in the hot tub until closing time. It was a nice relaxing way to end an exhausting day, my legs hurt so badly.
Sat. Dec 7, 2013:
We got to the airport way too early for our flight to Florida. I was a little worried that I would have trouble with the customs people seeing as my passport was a month away from expiring (no one told me how far in advance you have to renew it). Thankfully it is all computerized now, the customs people just glance over your papers after. When he asked me the purpose of our trip all I said was “fun” and he stared blankly at me.
Having so much time to kill, we lounged around in a fancy restaurant where you place your order via an iPad at the table which you are then free to use to browse the internet. Eating poutine, drinking cider and browsing Reddit was awesome; it made the time fly by so fast. For dessert I stopped by Starbucks for a Nanaimo bar, it was tasty but oddly light & fluffy.
The in-flight entertainment sucked, while still on the ground we had some TV channels but once up in the air we had pay-per-view movies on tiny little screens that flickered. West Jet’s only saving grace was that they offered snacks. Snacks, not a snack, but a choice of two different ones: pretzels or cookies. On the plus side I made a good dent in my book, volume 3 of Proust’s In Search of Lost Time.
Getting off the plane we were hit with a wave of stiflingly hot humid air. The airport was hot, apparently they forgot to turn on the air conditioning, or it was all the layers I was wearing (unlike Brent, who wore a warm jacket, I went out in a sweatshirt- it was awful trying to get to the airport via TTC). One thing we had failed to discuss with Greg was where he would pick us up from at the airport. I stayed put by baggage claim, Brent went off in search of Greg.
We were staying at Orange Lake Resort, which Greg gave us a tour of. It was surprisingly warm out given it was after 11:30pm. We tried to go check out the lazy river but apparently it was closed for the night. As we drove to the suite, we got lost. The resort is giant, with winding twisty roads and all the houses look the exact same. Turns out we were staying in a house with 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a full kitchen: wow. This was far different than any of the accommodations we had been used to while on vacation where we were lucky if we got a mini-fridge.
At some point in your life you have to throw a surprise party, it is inevitable. I finally had the means to throw such a party for Brent’s birthday.
It was an epic few weeks of lies, deception and hoarding. The whole plan was set in motion almost 3 weeks ago to allocate enough time for everyone to be free. Brent’s mom and brother helped out by taking him out to dinner, leaving me only 2 hours to get everything set up on the day of. I had to shop for groceries in the days before and hide stuff all over the place. Whenever i went to get some pants or a shirt from the closet I would see a corner of a chip bag or the top of a box of Oreos poking out. I invited all of Brent’s friends making for a rather large group, I was counting on people no-showing or someone shows up late while early people leave, a rotation of people. But everyone wanted to be there for the surprise, I was in desperate (!) need of chairs*. I borrowed one folding chair from my dad’s house, my mom donated a chair to the cause as well. In addition I had dismantled and brought my old desk chair from my mom’s house. It was no picnic, taking it apart, carrying the bulky awkward thing and then reassembling it. Still it was not enough. I bought some folding chairs on Black Friday after my bid on MaxSold (auction website) on some waiting room chairs got outbid (who pays that much for chairs?!). I tried to bring the chairs home while Brent was at work, but sometimes I came home late. I would open the door and shout at him to lock himself in the bedroom with his headphones in as i was “shipping presents to summerhill” *wink*.
It was not easy. He sent out a group invite for everyone to meet him downtown after dinner for drinks at a bar (he too knew our place was too small and chairless for a party). Panicked, I let the farce go on. Sure sure, we will meet you there. (Everyone was very confused). He had texted his friend whom he had not seen in months- who texted right back that he was in for drinks. This friend happens to not be on Facebook and thus did not know about the surprise party. More panic. Someone posted Kyle’s phone number in a message to me and a whole slew of panicked texts ensued. Then Brent decided to instead make reservations at WVRST- shit, was I going to have to call and explain that they had to cancel his reservation?! Thankfully they don’t take reservations. I was still worried he might want to just stay downtown after dinner but then the week before we were at Snakes & Lattes, despite the shopping ban I let him buy a game, one that I was considering getting him for Christmas**. He was SO excited about playing it, he invited people over early to play. I couldn’t go to dinner with him because I was meeting my sisters downtown *wink*, when really I was out getting the cake. The one unforeseen downside was that our one friend who DID show up early, sat alone in our house for a while. It was funny.
Brent had left his key with said friend and so was effectively locked out. I had the door unlocked and every time people came in, we all fell into a panic, so i locked it. Two of our friends (one of whom was a huge surprise to be there as he lives far away) left to go to LCBO, one of them is a smoker… and he took my lighter. Brent came in and was absolutely shocked… alas the cake was not lit, as those two had gotten lost and came in after the fact for another mini-surprise.
Throughout the ordeal I kept flip-flopping, thinking maybe he had known all along? The one thing I was sure of was that he had no idea that two of his friends were coming: the one who lives far away and his other friend who was “in Chicago visiting his girlfriend.” When Brent walked in, as he went down the stairs he was acting as if he knew, turns out he was trying to play me and pretend he was drunk on the city’s best sangria. It did not work.
I learned a lesson in all this: don’t buy party poppers. i will never get those bits of foil confetti out of my house. it will haunt me the rest of my life.
* I looked crazy on the subway multiple times. Once I had an IKEA chair dismantled in a bag, another time I was juggling carrying two chairs. It was a lot of work.
** I now have no idea what to get him for Christmas.
Inside My Head 