Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 9

Thurs. Sept 14, 2023 Portland, OR to home!!

I slept so poorly. The room was noisy and the clock was too bright. I somehow still felt surprisingly good when I woke up, which is amazing given how much wine I had consumed the previous day. Not even a trace of a headache. I grabbed a coffee from the hotel. The Stumptown coffee was ok. I also grabbed a chocolate croissant and a pear-filled pastry. I was not impressed with these two. We walked north to see the other Simpsons streets. We had seen Flanders yesterday. Today we were in search of Lovejoy and Kearney. We went to Ovation Coffee because it was highly rated. I had a Moroccan espresso pistachio latte.

We still had time to kill, it was barely 8am. We walked to Washington Park, another top Portland attraction. On the way we passed a boutique that had a really cute dinosaur dress and a skirt with pockets but they weren’t open yet. Turns out we had walked right by the previous day, albeit on the other side of the street. It was a very nice park. We walked through the International Test Rose Garden where they try to preserve as many varieties of roses as possible. It raised my rating of Portland a smidge. Back in the hotel room we still had time. Rather than going to the airport super early or sitting around the hotel room we walked to what I think was the original location of Voodoo Doughnuts? We walked by Chinatown and saw the archway. It got sketchy really fast. About one block away from the hotel, it had changed drastically. At Voodoo they only allowed one group in at a time, and there was a security guard posted by the door. This time we got the Memphis, a fritter, completing our tasting of all their base options. It was HUGE. It was topped with peanut butter, chocolate, chopped peanuts and chocolate chips. It was pretty good but now I can confidently say my ranking is: yeasted, cake, fritter. We walked one block north into Chinatown but there wasn’t much to see, we went back to the hotel. It was time to get to the airport and get home to Rudy. It was wild to me that we would be home after midnight when it was barely even noon. Apparently the rest of the day was so insignificant that I didn’t write about it.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 8

Wed. Sept 13, 2023 Newberg to Portland, OR

I woke up at 7:30ish, I had not slept well. I had been woken up by the stench of my armpit?! We drove down the street to From Russia With Coffee. I was finally going to have a coffee from one of those teeny tiny drive-thrus. I had seen so many but it was never easy to get to. I ordered the Snickers latte, it was ok, kind of smelled better than it tasted. At the gas station next door, I got strawberries and cream Dr Pepper and rice krispie square flavoured M&Ms. Both were awful. Thankfully I had also gotten a birthday cake Kit Kat and most stuf Oreos. Once again we found ourselves killing time in the hotel room, this time we were waiting for the wineries to open at 11am. I was reading my book but I soon got distracted by looking for any new tips on Reddit on the stupid elusive panthers in RDR2. I had somehow gotten re-obsessed with it?! Who knew that was a thing?? I blame the nature of Oregon. I also looked up when Jeopardy! is back, it had come back on Monday! Ack! Thankfully the episodes were all still up on YouTube so we caught up. I gave up on my book and got another one (gotta love ebooks, total vacation game-changer). I opted for a non-fiction title about the heart called Pump.

At Argyle Brewery we were greeted by a black and white cat, fittingly named Oreo. He was very meowy and kept rubbing against the wooden wall. It was so damn cute. I didn’t have much time to browse the menu, having been distracted. I panicked and ordered a glass of Nuthouse chardonnay and a Spirit pinot noir. Apparently, the latter was a brand-new offering. The owner told us about the wines and how they were grown. He was a very nice guy. Meanwhile the cat was stalking around and finally settled in a chair at the next table.

Sadly, there was no cat at Ponzi Winery. Brent didn’t have a second, he had to drive. At first it was unclear if they only sold bottles, but at the bar there was a by-the-glass menu. As we sat on the patio, looking at the vineyard and the bachelorette party, we debated ordering the baguette with lavender butter but by the time the lady came by I was done the wine. I had the 2017 Friends —— (something? I didn’t write a note to myself and couldn’t remember) pinot noir. It was better than Argyle. We also purchased a bottle of Riesling for later. I was sad to see that it was a screw-top. No wonder it was the cheapest bottle. In my defense, we hadn’t tried an Oregon Riesling (only pinot noir and chardonnay). From the highway we could see the vines. Both wineries were actively harvesting. At Argyle they had a sign telling you what grapes were being picked that day (it was pinot noir and chardonnay). At Ponzi they just had a sign to be careful when driving.

At this point I’d had two glasses of wine before noon. Hooboi. It’s no surprise I fell asleep in the car. I awoke right as we pulled into the Trader Joe’s parking lot in Portland. I grabbed more seasonings for my stockpile. We left the car and walked over to Scottie’s Pizza Parlour (as recommended in the Toronto Star) for lunch. I needed food. We had a grandma slice which was square with white sauce and onion and soft cheese. And a slice of the #1 award-winning pizza: basil & Parmesan. Along with a side of garlic knots. I didn’t even miss not having pepperoni. We walked over to Blue Star Donuts for dessert. Another newspaper recommendation. It was a slightly different donut, a brioche-style. We had a chocolate ganache and almond covered one that was pretty good. The raspberry bergamot old fashioned was not good. It had absorbed too much oil in frying. Nowhere near as good as Voodoo Doughnuts. Not even close. On the way back we stopped at Dutch Bros coffee so I could refuel. It was necessary. I was glad it wasn’t just a drive-thru kiosk, I 100% would have walked through regardless. I ordered a refresher drink this time, opting not to tempt fate with my finicky stomach. It was Rebel energy drink mixed with seltzer and strawberry and pomegranate syrups. It was perfect and similar to one of my favourite drinks from Second Cup.

We drove to the hotel and unpacked quickly. We had to run back down and drive the car to a nearby parking garage a few blocks away. On the way back to the hotel we stopped at Madewell and Anthropologie but I had no shopping luck. We also popped into Powell’s Books because it was one of the popular Portland attractions. Brent ended up finding his next read in the used book section and I got a magnet as a thank-you-souvenir for my sister for cat and garden care. I chugged the rest of my refresher back in the hotel but I was still craving refreshment. I was fighting the tiredness so hard. But I still needed to pack, we were flying out the next day and I had accrued a lot of stuff- groceries really- over the course of our trip. We watched Jeopardy! on YouTube and sipped Riesling. It was ok but you could tell it’s one of their lesser wines. Again, the screw topo should have been the obvious clue.

We had an early 5pm dinner at Deschutes Brewery. I had a glass of the Deschutes wayfarer cider made with Oregon apples. It was listed as “Teku only”, apparently that refers to the glassware? Who cares? Regardless, it was delicious. We were both still pretty full from earlier, so we ordered a charcuterie board. Womp womp. The best item on the board was the butte-port beer mustard. We had a selection of deli meats and two pieces of cheese each (one soft and one semi)… and then a giant pile of dried cranberries? And pickled cauliflower? One slice of bread and one really, really bad cracker each. As for what was on the board? Who knows.

Back in the hotel I was happy to see that Nick@Nite was back on! And it was on early! It was only 6:30pm. We finished the bottle of Riesling easily. There was some restless debate about going out for 1 more drink and food for me. In the end I ate the birthday cake Kit Kat and was too tired for more drinks.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 7

Tues. Sept 12, 2023 Springfield to Newberg, OR

As per usual, we woke up and nothing was open yet. We sat around the hotel room. I read my book while munching on the Lucky Charms and drinking Red Bull. I ended up finishing my book.

Our first stop of the day was the University of Oregon to see the football stadium. We stopped in at Ducks store, Brent got a t-shirt and new running shoes and a shot glass for our friend Carter. We could hear the marching band practicing. We also heard the football team practicing, but we couldn’t see them. Their field was surrounded by giant privacy hedges. One coach was filming it from a cherry picker and there was fake crowd noise being piped in.

We drove to downtown Eugene. We parked the car, failed to pay at the metre with card and gave it what little change I had left, a whopping 15 cents for 7 minutes. We walked over to Voodoo Doughnuts. We got a Butterfinger donut (chocolate cake base with vanilla glaze and crushed Butterfinger) and a Pop Tart donut (strawberry-filled yeasted donut with vanilla glaze). And of course, coffee, so I could continue functioning. Both donuts were so damn good. Blue Star paled in comparison. We walked back to the car to put more on the metre. Max’s Tavern was only a 15-minute walk away. After some more struggle we got the card payment to work. Max’s was supposedly like Moe’s bar from The Simpsons. It had just opened and there was only one other person in there. The cider on tap I wanted was out, so instead I had a can of 2 Towns pineapple cider, it was delicious. Brent had dressed up for the occasion, white t-shirt and jeans, had a PBR, which we guessed was about the closest to Duff? He also ordered a breakfast burrito, so good, but nowhere hear the level of the one in Wyoming. The bar was quite Moe’s-y. A little bit of a dive atmosphere but also comfy. They even had a Duff hat on display. One employee was talking about social media posting being a pain in the ass.

We drove back to the University of Oregon campus to see the track & field team. We wandered around it, the sun was beating down. We hit a dead end and had to backtrack. I felt awkward the whole time as they were setting up for a weekend event. Up next, we drove to the Woodburn Outlets. On the highway we saw a sign for the exit to the State Capitol. DETOUR! We saw the capitol building in Salem, OR. It wasn’t as pretty as some of the other ones. We passed another road sign for the 45^th parallel, halfway between the equator and the north pole. I shopped for an hour at the outlets. I was on the hunt for purple Levi’s but no luck. It’s a good thing there was a Starbucks so I could refuel.  

We headed out to wine country. I was skeptical. At Rex Hill Winery we had Seven Earths chardonnay and a Willamette Valley pinot noir. We traded halfway. The chardonnay was better, which is odd because this region is known for pinot noir. The set-up was meh, they only do full pours, no flights. I had been expecting a sampling. We sat on the patio, looking out past the road at the dormant fields. You could not tell we were right off a busy highway.

There was a liquor store right next door to our hotel. I went in while Brent checked us in. I didn’t have any ciders left, I had assumed we would be having a bottle of wine. There was a lady in the store that was just absolutely flabbergasted that the cashier had the same name and same birthday as her. Her partner could not care less that she had found her name twin.

I had just enough time to change before we had to head back out. We had dinner reservations at the Joel Palmer House. Dinner was AMAZING. Easily one of the best dining experiences we’ve ever had. Even if it made me sorta sick. The restaurant cuisine was based around mushrooms. I love mushrooms. My body, not so much. Halfway through I was so bloated. It physically hurt. We had opted for the omakase version, getting small portions with the option to keep going past the set menu. Apparently, the record was 14, which at first seemed totally do-able. Expect that by dish #8 I was struggling. I had wanted to tap out at that point, but they said that there was only one more sharing dish left before the option to tap out. It was a NY striploin and it was so damn good. Even if every bite caused my stomach to protest. The dishes were all so varied and it was easy to forget that they were mushroom based. Even the dessert had elements of mushroom in it. The dessert was a show-stopper. It was a giant sharing plate with a forest theme. Also unique was the cheese course. They had a variety of cheese to choose from ranging from mild to strong and we could choose as much as we wanted and it was cut right there for us. The Cotswolds cheese was the best, the Roquefort blue did not go down easy and caused a ruckus. By far my favourite of the dinner was the mushroom soup, it had a mushroom drawn in it with cream. It was easily one of the best things I have ever eaten. Ever. After that giant dessert plate, I was ready for a nap. But wait, there’s more! Apparently, there was a tiny ending dessert. We each got a small chocolate with mushroom pop rocks. It was so damn good! With dinner we’d each had a glass of wine. Brent had a glass of the JPH private cuvee 2015 pinot noir from Oregon. It was ok. But I much preferred my glass of rose of pinot noir from Rambeaux in the Willamette Valley.

The TV guide in our room was inaccurate. The channel that the show we wanted to watch wasn’t available. But I found it under a different number? We were watching old episodes of Bob’s Burgers because there was nothing else on. The MTV Music Awards were on four channels. The Avid Cider Co. blackberry cider was delicious and my stomach was surprisingly ok with it. I tried reading Girl on the Velvet Swing (NF) during commercials while searching desperately for Nick @ Nite so I could watch Friends. No luck, and the book wasn’t that good either.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 6

Mon. Sept 11, 2023 White City to Crater Lake to Springfield, OR

I woke up at 7am not trouble, and still had a good night’s sleep. The strawberry apricot Red Bull helped. From the hotel breakfast I grabbed a blueberry muffin and a cup of Lucky Charms for later, just in case I needed a snack. We took the Volcanic Legacy Highway, it took a little longer to get to Crater Lake that way but how could we pass on a highway like that?! At first the sun was directly in our eyes as we drove. Even with sunglasses it sucked. The first scenic overlook can barely be called that, it was barely a pull off, a tiny sliver of shoulder. It did not feel safe so we kept going. Surely something called “volcanic legacy” would have plenty of scenic overlooks? We did get a nice view of Howard Bay, right along the edge of the highway. There was a weird white column of smoke off in the distance, at one point it had perfectly lined up with the top of a volcano/mountain, but then as we drove on it separated. We never did find out where that solid column of cloud/smoke was coming from. We saw a bald eagle just sitting on top of a phone pole. We were barely inside of Crater Lake Park, and there was a young osprey sitting atop a phone pole. At the next pole was a nest with a baby and a momma bird. Turns out ospreys love poles. We stopped at a scenic viewpoint, the info panel was about the volcano that was once in the landscape but had blown up and collapsed leaving the flat land we were looking at, surrounded by other smaller peaks.

We drove to Crater Lake Lodge but we were too late for breakfast. The lodge had a beautiful view of the lake, there were deer on the sloped rock. I debated ordering a bagel, but it felt rude to order so close to the end of service. We got a cold turkey sandwich from the Rim Café and gift shop instead. I also got a snickerdoodle cookie and a strawberry rhubarb muffin in a parfait container for later. I would need it. The guide said that the hike down to our boat tour was a 1-hour strenuous hike, it was the only route down into the crater. I was filled with dread.

We drove along the East Rim to the Phantom Ship overlook, we had almost missed it because it was so poorly marked on the road, I was using a combination of the paper guide from the park and the sometimes-there-GPS. It was a beautiful view. The next one was Pumice Castle. We didn’t have time to continue on the road past that, we had a tour to get to. At Pumice Rock there was a guy in khakis, I joked that he was a loser for being dressed like a park ranger. The overlook was awesome, I wrote something about a rock formation but then I got distracted by a cute dog. As we were leaving there was a smaller, unnamed overlook offering a view of Phantom Ship rock from higher up. There were so many crickets making a racket there.

On the way to the boat tour, we stopped at some more overlooks. From Discovery Point overlook we could see Wizard Island, a newish volcano that had formed inside the previous volcano. There was a super cute chipmunk running around. Every overlook was up high looking down into the crater, I could see across the way the route we would have to take to get down. It felt daunting and like an insane trek. From Watchman Overlook we could the see the crater atop Wizard Island. There was a chipmunk posing for photos here. The lake was a beautiful blue, it was a little hazy but we could see all around and the info panels at all of the lookouts told us what we were looking at.

The Cleetwood Clove trail was not nearly as arduous as I had been expecting. I was picturing myself clambering over rocks and down steep mini-cliffs. In reality, it was just a really long series of switch-backs. It was well maintained and not that steep. It had been the elevation change that had really scared me. The return still lingered in my mind. The guide said it was the equivalent of 65 flights of stairs. WHAT.

We got there right on time…only to find out that our tour was delayed by 30 minutes. We sat on some rocks in the shade. Apparently if we had felt like it, we could jump off a 18-foot cliff into the small portion of Crater Lake that was allowed for swimming. Hard pass, I couldn’t even watch other people jump. The beautiful view was marred by the nincompoops next to us. They fed a chipmunk then were utterly shocked when it came back for more. HOW CAN SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPEN? These chipmunks were brazen, climbing onto the backpack. It was infuriating to be near this but there was nowhere else to sit, I needed shade, the sun was bright. It was much better once they had left. I watched the chipmunks running around, two appeared to be juveniles. The one big one lorded over them, scaring them off. They were squeaking and peeping, chasing each other, digging and eating flowers. It was adorable. I was glad they weren’t 100% reliant on humans for food. Yet. Who knows. An old guy jumped in the water and said it was very cold.

The boat tour of Crater Lake was great. We learned a lot and had some unique views from down below. The water was incredible, so clear in some parts. I learned that Wizard Island was a volcanic cone, it can only erupt once, therefore it was extinct. The water changed colour from blue to blue-teal based on the depth of the lake bottom. We got to see Phantom Ship from down below. There were dumb people on the boat too. A Canadian lady saying that China steals Canada’s water. We didn’t know or we would have planned better. Apparently one stop of the tour was that you got to fill a water bottle from the lake! We only had a Gatorade bottle and didn’t want to contaminate the lake. I powered back up the trail. I had packed a Red Bull but it was too late in the day. I had carried it for nothing. Instead, I had an Incline marionberry cider and the strawberry rhubarb parfait muffin, that turns out had a yogurt centre. Plus, there was the promise of the snickerdoodle cookie I had left in the car. I crushed my expected time (I had assumed double for the way back), 20 minutes down and 27 minutes up. I also really, really wanted to get away from all of the annoying people.

Back on the road: mountains off in the distance. SPRINGFIELD!! We walked down Main St. and took photos of the Simpsons mural and looked at the lady who does Lisa’s voice, handprints in cement. We had dinner at Plank Town brewing. The H(h)azy (style? brewery name?) strawberry cider was delicious. It oddly had a bit of a sesame flavour to it, but that somehow worked. Brent had the burger, it was ok but I wasn’t really in the mood for it. The breaded Oregon snapper tacos were delicious, as were the garlic fries from the burger. In a rare moment (I had barely eaten all day, or so it felt like) we both ordered a dessert. Brent had the chocolate peanut butter pie with house-made (!) strawberry (and amaretto? couldn’t taste it) ice cream. They know how to get you, with the house-made.

I was so tired, it felt like a 2-ciders-then-bed night. Friends wasn’t on yet?! Why was it on so late today?? It started at 9pm so I only got to watch one episode. While I waited, I read and played the movie grid game. 9963 steps, only 42 floors. The guide lied.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 5

Sun. Sept 10, 2023 Gold Beach to White City, OR

I ended up sleeping 10.5 hours, not bad given I had imbibed a little more than usual and had a dream-in-a-dream-in-a-dream nightmare. I had dreamt I was asleep and a green laser was scanning me, it was scary because it felt so real. In my haze I was concerned about how to disprove it being real.

We had breakfast at the lodge, looking out over the lawn and the river through the giant windows. The coffee was perfect and we had a buffet of fruit, yogurt and house-made granola and mini pastries. On top of that we also got to order a dish. I had the pancakes which were topped with honey butter, incredibly delicious. Brent had the eggs etc.. I was not a fan of the sausage, it was more of a patty so I added it to Brent’s plate, where it seemed to fit in a little better. Our dinner companions were at the next table over. They waved hello but didn’t come over. I think they may have been surprised to see us up and about and functioning, given the plethora of drinks? The server was talking to the next table over and they were telling her that they’d seen a sign for “world famous” without stating what it was. She knew exactly what they were talking about and what it was referring to. She said it was hotdogs. She also said that Bandon was way better than Brookings. Our original plans had been to backtrack and have lunch in Brookings. Instead of going back, especially given it was an active forest fire scene, we went with the more-coast-detour. Going to Bandon instead.

Before we headed out on the road, Brent went out on the river, I stayed behind, reading on the porch and enjoying the lavender. It was so nice and relaxing. Until I heard a loud mechanical buzzing. I was immediately worried that it was a giant hornet. Nope, it was a hummingbird. Off in the distance above the river I saw a giant bird soaring. He had a dark body and a white head and perched atop a tree top. It had to be a bald eagle. No sooner had I gone back to my book, I heard a loud squawking at my feet. I looked down over the railing and saw a scrub jay with a cute little mowhawk. He flew up to the railing of a planter holder on the balcony above me. He was scratching his head against the railing. Was he waiting for Nutter Butter crumbs?! How could he tell from there?!

Bandon was the exact same as Brookings (which we had driven through yesterday). Why had the server been trash-talking it?! The only “world famous” sign we saw was for Langlois and it was in the previous town, south of there. We craned our necks but saw no hotdog stands or restaurants or even signs. We google and got nothing. At the Smith Creek Covered Bridge rest stop I opened the car door and was greeted by a super friendly dog. He was so cool, he was on the road with his owners in a converted school bus. The rest stop had a bathroom as well, always a plus. Turns out the covered bridge is where teens go to write really shitty graffiti.

For lunch we stopped at the same In N Out burger as yesterday in Grants Pass. SO. DAMN. GOOD. Yes, we had eaten it three days in a row, and yes I would argue to go on like this forever. I had asked for the burger sauce on the side, to try dipping fries. They didn’t, so instead I just dipped my fries in the burger sauce on my burger. It was pretty good, better than ketchup, but not better than animal style. We also stopped at a gas station for beers, they had a giant billboard for their newly renovated beer fridge. I was not impressed.

We got to the hotel just after 3pm. We were staying on the Crater Lake Highway, basically a waypoint for tomorrow because the lodge in the park was fully booked up. It was too early for good TV so I read my book. It also felt too early for drinking. Eventually Bob’s Burgers came on. We drove to 7-Eleven for snacks and iced coffee for tomorrow morning. There was a guy in there who was an expert on 7-Eleven coupons and deals, arguing with the cashier that at the “other 7-Eleven” they do it that way. I also requested a pit stop to Dairy Queen. The snickerdoodle cookie dough mini was perfect and really hit the spot. Back in the room, Bob’s Burgers wasn’t on. Now it was American Dad. As soon as I switched the channel all was well, it was time for Nick @ Nite, aka I watch Friends until it’s time to go to sleep. Seinfeld was on the other channel so it took the lead, with Friends during commercials because Seinfeld would be less episodes than Friends. The 2 Towns strawberry lemonade cider was ok, but tasted kind of too fake. The Ruffles smokehouse BBQ and Doritos salsa verde were so good. The Swedish Fish & Friends weren’t as good as I had remembered them being. It was a paltry day for steps, but I had also not taken my phone with me everywhere: 795.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 4

Sat. Sept 9, 2023 Ashland to Gold Beach, OR

I only had an ok sleep, getting 8.5hours of sleep (the horror!), but I couldn’t sleep any more. We drove to Dutch Bros. Coffee just down the road. Apparently, this was an Oregon drive-thru chain? I’d never heard of it, but now I had to try it. I had no idea that Oregon was so obsessed with small drive-thru coffee kiosks. I ordered the caramel pumpkin cold brew and it was amazing. Brent had ordered a mocha, except when the girl was going to hand it to him, she tripped, spilling it all down the side of the (white) car. She was ok, but so embarrassed and apologetic. We laughed, Brent said it’s a rental car so no worries.

We still had time to kill, nothing was open yet. I leisurely drank my coffee while online shopping at Macy’s and playing the movie grid game, periodically going back to my book. Trader Joe’s was our first stop, I refilled on spices and got a sturdy canvas tote bag. I also got a strawberry lemonade tall can cider, but they didn’t have any single beers. I didn’t have much luck at Macy’s, there were some nice things but not in my size. It did set me off on a hunt for purple Levi’s though (still no luck). I did find a purple t-shirt with a front knot on clearance.

We drove 30 minutes to a different In N Out (vs the one that was in the same parking lot as the Macy’s). Both because it was too early for lunch and for a change of scenery… and so I could see if they had a different stock of merchandise, I was not impressed with the t-shirt they had at the previous location. But they had the same stock. This time we had regular fries, which only solidified my love of animal-style. Regular was still really good, but oh man that topping. There was a Human Bean drive-thru coffee kiosks a few doors down, another chain I had no idea existed previous to this trip. I ordered a pumpkin “snowy” which I think was an iced blended coffee, it should have caffeine in it? Or was it just coffee-like? I wasn’t sure. It was not as good as Dutch Bros, it was a touch too sweet. I had made my alliance: Dutch Bros or bust in the land of no Dunkin.

We were driving on the Redwood Highway, there was no direct route to our hotel, we had to take a roundabout way, dipping into California. Instead of just heading straight east, where it was tiny access roads and not very navigable (even the hotel had emailed about it). There were some baby turkeys on the side of the road among the redwoods. It wasn’t enough though, I was starting to fall asleep. CALIFORNIA!

All around us were remnants of the recent forest fires, the air still smelled smoky and there were cut down trees and everything was covered in sawdust. There were signs that the National Forest was closed due to wildfire danger. There was an Arizona fire van and we started to wonder, are they helping with the aftermath or is it still ongoing? Soon we saw small pockets of smoke. And we drove by the basecamp. This was definitely still happening. As we turned back north there was low-hanging fog among the enormous redwoods, it seemed so ominous.

We passed a giant billboard for All-Star Liquor, claiming to be the 8^th wonder of the world. As soon as we crossed back into Oregon the first thing we saw was a billboard for a pot store. I was in need of more caffeine. We stopped at Dutch Bros and I got another pumpkin caramel crème brulee cold brew. I’d only been two times and I now had a regular order, I had no inclination to try anything else, this was so damn good. It would prove to be my undoing. Too much sugar and too much dairy, three fancy coffees is too much for my poor body. I had a few sips and then hoped our room had a fridge for the rest of it.

In Brookings we stopped to go down to the beach. It was low tide (it always seemed to be) and the rocks were above the waterline. It was very scenic, and then I noticed a starfish on one rock, soon I kept spotting more. They were just chilling there, periodically getting hit by waves. There were also two dead birds and part of a third one.  Thank god there were bathrooms across the road, my poor stomach was not happy. The next scenic overlook was very foggy and we couldn’t really see much. Indian Sands Beach had a trail down to the beach but it was so steep going down that I turned around a quarter of the way there. I saw a banana slug on my way back to the car and my book.

I had taken a Gravol and by the time we got to Gold Beach visitors centre I was dizzy. Not great, even worse, the bathrooms were closed for the season. At least there were port-a-potties. I’d never been so happy to see one. I flew too close to the sun with iced coffees and my aging body was not having it. We decided to leave some of the scenic overlooks for the next day, it was super foggy and there were no views. At House Rock, which had been stop #2, all we saw was fog. No rock, no nothing.

We pulled into the parking lot of our hotel, Tututlan Lodge and there were deer and a buck grazing on what looked like a putting green. And turkeys too. It was an odd scene. When we checked in, we found out that they were regulars on the green. There were no cookies left at the “tea & cookies” and no mint tea. Later I saw a sign that said it was actually an “iced tea & cookies” hour, my bad. We walked the grounds, saw a nice river, played some golf despite the wildlife. I felt so unnatural swinging the club. I wasn’t feeling bocce ball, plus how could I follow when Brent threw a perfect shot? We went back to the refreshments and grabbed some sodas from the mini fridge for later.

We had some time before dinner, drinking and reading on the porch. The neighbours were drinking and chatting. Except they were super weird, is it an inevitability of getting old? Also: were we the youngest people here? There was a loud bell toll calling us for pre-dinner hors d’oeuvres. It was odd though because it was only 6:15 and dinner wasn’t until 7pm. I did not want to socialize with boomers. We opted to wait a little, I had a second cider and kept reading my book. I periodically could smell lavender and didn’t realize until I got up that there was a whole row of it planted by the edge. Oops.

At the happy hour it was unclear if the drinks were free or not. I had the “beekeeper” which had local honey and lemon and gin. For snacks, they had tortilla chips with mango salsa, it was a bit awkward to eat. Fancy jalapeno poppers and elk sausage with cheese. They were so good, I ate so many. Just before 7pm there was an announcement about dinner. We ran back to the room, I wanted to leave my purse and use the bathroom.

Dinner was family style. Because we had run back to the room, we were the last ones to be seated. There were four empty chairs, brent went to sit at one but it was clearly marked by a purse. We were at the other table. We were joined by three other couples. All of them were retired, one lady had a son who was retired. I was briefly distracted trying to do the math. One couple said they were celebrating their 45^th anniversary, the next said 46^th. The age gap was so prominent. Things started off like they would be interesting, a retired marine biologist and a lady who worked in the sheriff’s office! I was so ready for awesome stories. Whatever interesting stories they may have had from their lines of work, they did not share them with us. Everyone was so boring. Because we’d had drinks in the room beforehand (Brent had three beers, I’d had two ciders) and then a bar drink each during pre-dinner, we had a generous head start on our dining companions. They asked me what was in the cocktail I had ordered, all I could answer was blackberry puree and some kind of alcohol? I had no idea. Someone else said it was Cointreau, I had stopped reading the menu after I saw blackberry puree which was the first thing listed. The first course was an asparagus soup with white beans, there were chopped onions in the bottom of the soup bowl. It was delicious and I made a note to look up a recipe for it later. The salad was kale with prosciutto and breaded anchovies topped with parmesan shavings. For the main dish I had steak with black garlic and onions, Brent had the Cornish hen. The steak won by a landslide. I was saved from having to eat cauliflower because they were also family style (the mains were the only things served individually). Dessert was NY-style cheesecake with blackberry puree. Everything was amazing, the steak was a wow.

During dinner we also found out that two of the other couples had been at the performance of Romeo & Juliet and were just as dismayed as I was. I had gone in expecting classic Shakespeare, they said it was never like this. They said it had been the worst ever, and they were regulars.

I was so tired, it was barely even 9pm, I had only done 5275 steps and yet I was ready to sleep like the dead.

 

Oregon Coast Is Underrated- Day 3

Fri. Sept 8, 2023 Gleneden to Ashland, OR

I had another solid 10 hours of sleep. My body needed it. I actually slept well! We went down to the gift/snack shop for coffee. On the way we passed a display case about the shops across the road. Apparently, they were owned by the hotel. So much for alternate dining options. Plus, they didn’t open until 11am, aka three hours from now. Hard pass. When I ordered coffee, the lady pointed behind me and said it was free in the morning for hotel guests. Oops. In my defense they could have made it clearer. I was ordering food too so it worked out, we ordered what looked like an éclair topped with mini M&Ms…. except it wasn’t filled. WHO DOES THAT?! It was tasty yes, but that much solid donut needs filling to offset texture. I wasn’t even all that hungry, I did not feel like eating. I was still so bloated.

We walked around the grounds. There were quite a few people out on the driving range. We debated a round but decided against it. One ball had been hit clear over the fence, quite impressive. There were no bean bags for cornhole. The tennis courts were indoors and we were unsure if they were even open. The website said only tennis shoes were allowed, so much for playing pickle ball.

We packed up early and headed out. We would take a detour and drive along the coast. Beautiful coastal views vs playing games, it was an obvious choice. We stopped at Otter Crest Loop. From the car the view didn’t seem that great. But we got out anyways. And immediately, Brent spotted a spray of water off in the distance. Whatever it was had just breached a little. We could just see the top of the back/head, a little black lump. A giant group of pelicans flew by. Right before getting in the car, I saw the tip of a whale tail just above the water but it was still not a full breach, just skimming. The tide had been low and we could see a lot of rocky outcroppings, but no otters. We looked up the name of the overlook and it turns out there hadn’t been otters there for many, many years.

Up next was the Yaquina Head Lighthouse & “Outstanding Natural Area”. They didn’t lie, the views were amazing and we saw a lot of wildlife. I was super excited to see pelicans and down below we could see harbour seals lounging on rocks. Little did I know, we would get a closer view of them. We followed the path down to the tide pools (we had a lot of luck with low tides) and now we could see even more. Once you spotted one harbour seal, suddenly a whole bunch came into view. They were splashing around and snorting. There were cormorants just chilling on rocks. On the other side of the lighthouse there were so many pelicans, they had taken over the rocks. One was screaming like a baby. The lighthouse was open for tours but it was only during a 45minute period and the line was ten people deep for the last tour. At first the tide pool had smelled like ocean but as we made our way along the beach(?) it started smelling like wet dog. It was hard to walk because it was all smooth, wet rocks. It was like a pebbled-cobblestone path, but wet and covered in kelp and seaweed to make it even more difficult to traverse. I had forgotten to bring my phone, but we had walked 1.5 miles according to the sign. I never did translate that into steps.

We stopped at Walmart for my usual supply run. I got cinnamon baking chips, Butterfinger baking bits, white chocolate pudding and Dunkin’ Donuts pumpkin spice coffee. I grabbed a 6-pack of Incline cider, “marionberry” flavour. It sounded Oregon-ian. We also got a bag of Tina’s potato chips because apparently these are local chips? They were ok. I preferred the mini Butterfingers. The double Nutter Butters were a lie, at most they were 1.25x, if that. There was no sign of the Old Bay Goldfish crackers, which I had finally remembered to look for. The people in line ahead of us at Walmart were taking forever and they were not even helping bag their purchases, we bailed and found another line. As we were leaving, they were still gathering up their stuff. We stopped at a Starbucks for more refueling. I was seriously in love with the pumpkin cream cold brew. It was inside a grocery store… that sold dry ice?!

Even with some buildings closed, the Oregon Coast Aquarium was pretty cool. They actually lived up to their name, focusing on creatures from the Oregon Coast. We saw turkey vultures, one was being so cute scritching himself. The puffins were also adorable, even though they were stinky. They even had an aquarium tunnel, as you walked through it you passed through three areas of the Oregon coast. We saw rockfish and sturgeons, and later some sharks. The pacific octopus was awesome, until the volunteer went off the rails. She started out telling us about how intelligent they are, telling stories from labs that I’d heard before. That was ok. But then she started saying how odd octopuses are…maybe they have alien DNA… ok no. We had to walk away. It was so cringe-y, but we looked like heroes, letting the children in to see. We couldn’t see the otters, they were all hiding, one swam by quickly but that was just a blip. We went back at 1pm for the otter feeding. All 3 were out and staying in one spot. They were adorable and it was so sad to hear that they were extinct in the wild along the coast. The harbour seal was swimming and then he launched himself out of the water and on land he belly-crawled forward and it was such a drastic change than when he’d been swimming.

From the car: I saw a pelican on the beach. He tipped his head back, mouth wide open then closed as he swallowed. It was so cool to see but also funny to see, literally cramming it down his gullet. The Devil’s Churn scenic overlook was a tiny inlet of water pushing in against the rock overtime. It lived up to its name, the water in that tiny space was churning so violently. We had beautiful coastal views especially because of the mist from the waves crashing against the shore. We stopped at another viewpoint but it was more of a beach access. Heceta Head Lighthouse was a top-rated thing to see in Florence, OR. It was a beautiful beach with cliffs and caves in the cliffs. We walked up the path to the lighthouse for more beautiful views. Except. It was marred. The place was overrun by teens on a school trip. The teacher was younger than me, which just made me feel even older as I grumpily thought the kids were way too loud. He also kind of blended in with them.

We drove by giant sand dunes. On the map we saw Oregon Dunes Overlook, totally worth the 10-minute detour. The scenery was gorgeous, I had no idea that Oregon had sand dunes along the coast. It was also a welcome bathroom break. There was a road sign for the Elk Viewing Area. From the road we could see a cow… and then all around it elk just lounging! We didn’t even have to stop at the view point to see it, though I did regret not being able to get a picture of it. I was starting to drift off to sleep.

Dinner was at In N Out burger. I had seen it on google maps when we were planning the trip. I got so excited about the prospect of it. Except we drove by two before we got to that one. I was so hungry. All we’d had for lunch was Gatorade, chips and mini Butterfingers. I started worrying, what if the In N Out I had found was closed, would be backtrack 20-40 minutes?! Thankfully it did not come to that. I was rejuvenated by the pink lemonade and the perfection that is a double-double animal style.

We had 30 minutes in the hotel to relax before heading out. Except it was more like 10 minutes by the time I had settled and changed. I had to chug the rest of my cider, the marionberry was ok. We were going to see Romeo & Juliet at the Shakespeare festival. I was expecting a classy night out. I brought my Nike hoodie, but I would remove it once we got to the theatre. I ended up leaving it on, both because the interior was frigid, but also because I was super, SUPER, overdressed. We had arrived early, assuming parking would be a nightmare. It wasn’t. At least we had time to grab a drink? This place was running a racket. If you wanted to take your drink to your seat, you had to pay an extra $3 for a souvenir cup. That was a drop in the bucket compared to how much Brent accidentally tipped, 10x what he had intended, paying almost double for a beer and a cider. Bend Cider on tap was pretty damn good. When we had been in line to get in, it was all older people sort of nicely dressed. Once inside, I had no idea where they all went. Because it was ALL grungy hipsters. In line I had also overheard someone say that the production was just over 3 hours long. WHAT?! We got to our seats and I was even more shocked. No one had drinks, literally just us. The stage was set with an urban scene? With graffiti? Baz Luhrman had already done this!!! It was a contemporary setting, but with most of the original text with just a few modern flourishes?! I was not happy. I thought for sure we would be leaving at intermission. Everyone around us kept reacting to things and I was so confused. Brent was enjoying (?) it, so we stayed to the end. All I can say is: AUGH. I still hate Shakespeare. Some of the acting was good. The highlights of the performance for me were: the cider and the free wifi. I was so tired, having walked 6114 steps plus the 1.5miles I hadn’t counted. I needed sleep and to forget all about Shakespeare. I had been bamboozled.