Reds SUCK!!

(yes there seems to be a common theme in my titles)

yesterday we headed out to the baseball game. we being: me, my boyfriend and my sister. she had been wanting to see a game on account of having never been and just sheer curiosity. so we went yesterday because it was cheap tickets+hotdogs day. we packed peanuts and ate them all. leaving a giant crunchy mess underfoot. it started off rather uneventfully (unless you are a baseball fan, in which case: the Jays pitcher, Mr. Moustache as i called him, got all 3 Reds out. real fast too.). but soon it started. a Jay hit a home run and everyone went crazy yelling and screaming. one Reds guy let go of the bat and it flew into the crowd. a fan caught it but the player wanted it back, so the crowd booed him. then another guy broke his bat in half. then some pigeons flew down. then another home run. then the pigeons came back. another home run. and then some pitcher changes, then some more pitcher changes. then another home run! at this point i should mention: the home runs were all by Jays, it started sucking and Reds started scoring once we lost Mr. Moustache to Mr. Can’t Throw A Good Pitch and the pigeons only stayed on the field very briefly. there were soem drunk guys in the upper level waving their shirts and with writing on their bellies, as the JumoTron was on them, you could see security trying to calm them down. one chick didn’t realize she was on it, and just kept yakking on her cell. and then there was an awesome dancing kid. he was missing all 4 front teeth and he moved like a cooked noodle.

 

The Attack…

last night after finishing up another (exhausting) round of night photography i returned to my room with the intentions of just plotzing in my bed and sleeping. but the universe had other plans for me. as i was leaving my room (with my glasses off) i noticed a dark blob above my door frame. curious, i put on my glasses and returned to investigate and to my horror discovered a spider… a giant scary spider. all i could think about was him attacking me in my sleep! i panicked and ran to the other end of the house, staggering around in the dark i desperatly searched for the broom and a plastic container to trap him in. next i debated calling my boyfriend but decided against it because it was afterall 2 in the morning. instead i searched out my sister, who reluctantly (and with a mouth full of Listerine) helped me. but as we were about to knock him down, i noticed on the other wall ANOTHER dark blob! i screamed and ran. which also scared my sister, who then got mad at me saying she almost spit out the mouthwash. it turned out to be a fly. and we successfully got rid of the spider. i thought cats ate spiders? not Shrek. he was nowhere to be found. (see pictures of spider in album, yes i actually took pictures!)

 

Toronto stinks!!

no longer just a proclamation of jealous Americans and Hamiltonians, it is now a soon-to-be truth. no longer will people have a need to be jealous of us, for just as it happened back in 2002, it has come back again… yes, the feared garbage strike in the heat of the summer. well, the heat just kicked in yesterday, but it seemed so fitting. the summer heat begins on the first day of summer, at the end of which we get a garbage strike. except this time there is also a worldwide pandemic (yeah i forgot about it too). thankfully i am in Etobicoke (and save for summer school downtown, of which i only have one day left, this coming Wed.) where we apparently have a private comany collecting our garbage (*pats throne* so nice). but it’s not like i am getting off scot-free. oh no, you see, the buses that run on our lines well they come from a bus depot that is in the strike zone (i know this from 2002) and they STINK. oh man how bad they stink. and sometimes the people you encounter also stink (but that is a given every summer. seriously, some days i feel like carrying a bottle of air freshner or maybe some Febreze). not enough? fine, how about this: the summer heat is getting to me (yes, i am aware its only the second day of the heat, it hasn’t gotten me THAT bad, yet). what can i do about it? well there is only so much ice cream i can eat (*pats belly*), go swimming you say? well OK, let’s see… the lake? unswimmable (see entry a couple days back, the lake gave me a rash). go to another part of the city where the lake is OK to swim in? well nope, can’t. lifeguards are on strike, thus presumably there will also be no one to put up the flag telling you of the swimming conditions. and of course: the stench. no one wants to go swimming in a stinky place. and of course there are going to be those dumping their trash in the lake. that’s a given. that leaves the pool. right? wrong. they are also on strike. that leaves me with: run away from the city and head north to Lake Huron/Georgian Bay. problem: no car, no money.

so its been decided. we’re getting an air conditioner. one day into the heat and me and my mum looked at each other and pretty much it was decided "screw the heat, we need A/C". presumably the cat would have also had a say in this, rather a meow. having fur this time of year must suck.

 

Tall People SUCK!!

Wintersleep was playing a free concert at Yonge & Dundas square on Friday night so we headed downtown. but to our surprise! The Cliks were also playing! but alas, we had some time to kill so we wandered around and looked at the vendors, watched a pigeon jump up some stairs… and i wandered over to the giant inflated Mountain Dew can… and chugged a whole can of free energy drink. then we went around and i came back and chugged another. the world was a tiny bit brighter and i was less stable and more shaky. it was awesome. after we re-emerged from the Eaton’s Centre i looked across the street at the giant inflated Mountain Dew Amped can… and i felt a sudden urge to jump into the air and drop-kick the can. which would end in two possibilities: 1.) i would fly right through it and crash into the floor 2.) i would bounce off it and crash into the floor. not good. but then i was distracted from undertaking it, when i saw the most awesome sight my eyes had beheld thus far: the bucket drummer had a real drumset!! for years (at least 5) i have watched him play the drums on a set of buckets, collecting change to "buy a real drum set" and it has finally happened! ironically in these bad economic times.

while we were sitting on the steps of Yonge & Dundas Square waiting for the concert to start, a guy in a promotional SUV for The Hangover pulled up. i figured they would be handing stuff out, talking about the movie etc…. instead he got out, walked around it, and took a picture of it in context of the event. BUT i happened to be in the picture, and i was not gonna move and lose my sitting spot. so i made a face, and then whipped out my camera. i waited for him to come back around took HIS picture with the car. retatliation at its best.

at the concert i learned a few things about concert-goers. they are all really tall. secondly? they ALL smoke. no matter how far away you move from the smokers, you end up near some other smokers. and there was this one lady who for a while i was running with the theory taht she was the hula-hooping hippe from the pot rally i walked through last year, but i came to the conclusion she must be her grandmother. or pot ages you terribly? secondly there was this REALLY annoying guy who butted in front of us. he was wearing a beanie with hair sticking out underneath BUT it was so carefully placed. he looked like an ass. he was with some girls… who seemed more interested in having a conversation…. AT A ROCK CONCERT. how does this make sense?! one of them was even trying to maintain a cellphone conversation. things like this just make me wonder. they simply fail to make sense to me. i also learned that people at concerts have no concept of personal space. i witnessed countless incidents where someone was trying to pass by someone else and they actually kinda patted them on the back/moved them aside! there was also a perv there who i swear was just there to look at chicks. it was creepy and i could not have gotten away from him faster. scary.

 

What has the world come to?!

in my daily ventures through the internet i sometimes come across interesting, entertaining, and sometimes downright weird stories. take today for example, today even has a theme: food. food=good right? not today it doesn’t. our first gem comes from a Swedish company. they decided to take the good ol’ cheeseburger and cram it into a can for "convenience". you just boil the can for 10mins in water and presto! cheeseburger. but how convenient is it really to ingest something so gross and gnarly?! the company apparently also makes powdered wine. *shakes head*

secondly, this one is for all the chocoholics, of which i am one: Le Whif. its an inhaler, through which you inhale chocolate powder that apparently gives you all the satisfaction of eating chocolate without the calories. it even comes in an array of flavours. i say bullshit. it looks like a poorlymade plastic cigarette, actually it kind of reminds me of those new Nicorette inhalers. just gross.

 

Me Vs. The World: Round 1

it started out with me scraping my leg on the edge of a picnic bench last week. which resulted in a rather odd injury, it was a scratch that was then swollen around it, and THEN a giant bruise (which fyi over a week later: still not healed!). from there, the cat scratched my finger, i cut my thumb with a can opener, slammed my shin into a car door. a bit more eyebrow raising than those though: i had gone for a walk (for which i was not adequately sunscreened, resulting in yet another "damage" to my body, horrid sunburn on one shoulder and patchy) and decided to dangle my legs in the lake, for it was really really hot. the next day i awoke to a surprise: a rash had formed on my right foot and my left toe. i ran down the stairs to see if my flip flops (that ALSO caused me some damage in the form of a blister between my toes) matched up with the injury  and lo and behold they did not. so there you have it: the lake is NOT safe for swimming.

and then finally le piece de resistance, the reason i need to get traveller’s insurance for my trip: the day i felt like the guy in the Polysporin commercial: i was drying the dishes and i was holding my sister’s mug (the same mug she had showed me earlier that day, she pointed out a chip in it), and the chip cracked… slicing my thumb open. and it bled. and bled. and bled. right through the kleenexes i wrapped around it, right through the bandaids i stuck to it. and as i was wiping off the blood and what i had thought was run off, it turned out there was a second cut on the other side too. so i spent the rest of the day with a gauzed up giant thumb.

*TKO* universe wins this round.

 

the saga comes to rest:

 as some of you may (or may not?) know, during high school me and my
friend (and guest appearances) would reminisce about old TV shows. we
spent much of class time trying to figure out the titles. it took us a
few months to remember that the train that brings juice was in fact
from Mr. Roger’s and not RomperRoom as we mistakenly thought for a bit.
i slowly started to drift away from this as my success rate started to
dip. i no longer got that sparkle and look of recognition in my
colleagues’ eyes’. that wonderous look of fulfillment started to turn
into a look of utter confusion as i desperatly tried to describe shows
that i was sure existed. eventually i found it on the internet. it had
been Clyde The Musical Jukebox that i had so gone crazy over. (forget i
can’t find the link, but i KNOW i wrote about it). well that was not
the only show i bellyached over. there was another one. it was a
Canadian show and there was a man with a square head, sandy
brown/blonde hair and square glasses. he would always go check the mail
with his puppet friend. and i racked my brain, bothered countless
people, searched endlessly on the internet, changing search terms,
trying to remember other aspects. and finally last night: closure. i
figured it out. the show was called Take Part! and i am so happy to
know that now!!

YouTube – Take Part! Theme Song
 

 

good day indeed

today on the bus i was staring out the window, bored and tired. and what should happen to cross my field of vision? why it was one of those fibre-glass moose from long ago! he was hitching a ride in the back of a pickup truck. cute. how does that alone make for a good day? well, my day gets better: i opened my Yahoo! email and apparently the Federal Bureau of Investigation sent me an email with the subject line: Good Day. good day indeed it is. even moreso when i get to go see the 20ft red rubber ball in the middle of downtown. i feel like Rover, all antsy and anticipating it. heck, i might just chase it around the city all weekend.

 

Entertaining Historical Account of Things That Be:

invention of the Frisbee went as such: the guy was bugging his wife as she was doing the dishes, she being super cranky on account of having spent the day cleaning up after her husband did not care for his aggravating ways, so she threw a plate at his head. he instead leapt into the air and caught it. thus the game of Frisbee was born. the ceramic dinner plate, being replaced by the plastic Frisbee we all know and love.

NOTE: that’s what you get for pissing me off. rather than i give you my good ideas for a talltale, i hoard it for myself and butcher it as such.

EDIT: this is no longer relevant in that the "anger" was really just a misunderstanding of an email in which the sarcasm was not evident.

 

the feud battles on!

i was mad at Tim Horton’s, boycotted them for months, wrote an angry letter and then i decided to turn the other cheek. that is, until they retaliated and tried to poison me. WHO THE HELL PUTS GREEN ONIONS AND PEPPERS IN CHICKEN SALAD?! its supposed to be: chicken and mayo. that is all. or at the very least put those on top as toppings. i was unaware of what lurked in my wrap, for when i ordered it i made sure they didn’t put tomatoes or lettuce in it (blech!) and i bit right in, huge chunk. it was cold and lumpy and tasted funny. for the rest of the day ALL i could taste were those damn green onions. i mean, poison.

i was wary of starting another boycott/string of angry letter writing, because as we can see, the first one was not all that successful. all it did was prove how long i can go without Timmies. when what did my eyes behold? my two favourite things in the world on my third favourite thing in the world! the TV said Tim Hortons was giving away free coffee! sweet mother of pearl i thought to myself! on the one hand, i can boycott their "generosity"… but then an evil grin spread across my face as i thought…. OR I COULD TAKE THEM TO THE CLEANERS, MILK(sry for the pun) ‘EM FOR ALL THEY’RE WORTH!!! and milk them i did. in total i had about 5 of their free iced coffees… and barely any jitters, although i did notice a steady drop in my rate of blinking.

since then, i have been boycotting them, but its still unofficial. i am craving an iced cap pretty bad, maybe after that iced cap.

NOTE: as i was madly typing this, i accidentally put in the wrong type of DVD for backing up my portfolio and thus wasted a perfectly good blank DVD. stupid Timmies, without even trying.